It starts out like this.  Mom has to rush home from the office in
Winchester to meet with me for our rendezvous.  She's busy, busy, busy.
Just as soon as we are ready to leave for Berkley Springs for dinner,
her cell phone rings.  It's a real estate agent who has one of her
homes sold and is negotiating a commission.  We get to mom's office
building (she occupies the big office) and, just as we walk in the
door, two more customers show up and express interest in more
information. They are ready to buy!  This, incidentally, is all taking
place on a Saturday evening.   She has 400 homes sold with 100 left to
sell. They're going fast.  Mom's in the thick of it.  You do the
math.  Ok, now that's done and were off to Berkley Springs.

Of course we take Mom's car.  She drives.  It's a brand new blood red
Subaru AWD Legacy. The interior has that new smell.  Sweet!  The
weather is beautiful.  The road to Berkley Springs winds through the
Appalachian Mountains overlooking the Shenandoah Valley.  The view is
stupendous. We stop at a local bakery along the way well known for
their pies.  Mom suggests that buy one for my 84 year old father whom I
am caring for at my sister's house while she is in New Mexico.  We get
a big very heavy coconut cream pie.  Some of it Mom and I eat later in
the evening when get back to her house.  Some if it my dad eats this
morning for breakfast!  The rest sits on the kitchen counter in a
cardboard pie box waiting to be eaten by anyone who isn't afraid of
being inundated by calories.

We arrive at Lookout Point, park the car and get out taking in the
view.  Resplendent below us, in a cacofany of colors, is a panorama of
farms, forest and the Potomac River.  We take pictures (Elmo:  Mom
should send you these) and bask in the natural beauty of our
surroundings.  The warmth of the evening summer sun is offset ever so
slightly by the coolness of being up in the mountains.  We climb back
in the car and Mom drives down the mountain and into Berkeley Springs.

It's dinner time.  Mom selects Tari's Café.  It is owned and
operated by a woman one would have to meet to believe.  Quite the
character she is!  Mom orders seafood pasta and I have Jamaican style
pork covered with a mango sauce.  We order wine and Mom gets smashed.
She curses out the waitress.  A customer attempts to butt in. Mom slaps
his face.  He's a big biker and starts crying.  Mom hits him over the
head with a chair.  The police are called in and Mom explains how the
biker tried to feel her up. The cops take him away in cuffs despite his
whinnying protestations.  "It's all her fault, glug, glug, it's
all her fault, sob sob!"  "Blow it out your a.s ya big baby."
Mom shrieks while simultaneously winking at both cops.  So taken by
mom's seductive charm are the piggley wiggleys, that they commence to
beat on the biker with their flashlights as he cowers prostrate on the
sidewalk.  Hey Spidey!  Another toke of BC bud please.
Ahahahahahahahah!!!

Okay, my version. Geb shows up 2 hours early drunk off his a.s in his
sister's Miata. I bring him into my place and he says "where's the wine,
bitch"? Oh yeah, then he calls me fat. I give him a glass of wine to calm
him down and we sit down to chat. He has 3 names, you know? I'm still not
quite sure what his real name is.

After our talk we decide to head out for dinner. I start over to his car
thinking we can have a nice drive in this cute little sports car with the
top down because the weather is so beautiful and he says "you don't think
I'm driving do you, I just drove 100 miles to meet your sorry a.s". So
rather than argue with him I drive.

I decided it would be nice to show him where I work first. These two deaf
guys come in for information thinking I am open for business and Geb is
sitting on the couch and he keeps going huh? huh? huh? I was so embarrassed
I hurry these men out out of my office hoping they aren't reading Geb's
lips.

On the way to the restaurant I remember this little diner in Hancock, Md.
famous for their homemade pies. I suggest Geb buy one to take home to his
father. He bought a beautiful coconut creme pie but all night long he kept
saying "you really want this pie in your face, don't you"?

I find the spot I was looking for that has this fantastic view. There were
several people there taking photos and admiring the view. Geb goes over to
the guardrail unzips his pant and starts peeing over the cliff the whole
time singing..........."it's along way to Tipparraee, it's a long, long way
to go". I could have died right there but somehow managed to get him back in
the car.

By now I am thinking do I really want to take him into this nice restaurant?
I was starved so decided to chance it. We ARE in West Virginia but this is a
very nice place. The waitress asks for our drink order and he says "I'll
have a jug of moonshine". Then he yells YEEEEEE HAAAAAA.

We managed to get through dinner without anymore incidents
until....................Geb starts hitting on the owner, a very big haired,
buximous blonde. Her Harley husband was sittting at the next table when Geb
calls her over. What he says to her is too embarrassing to mention but long
story short the next thing I know the Harley guy is beating the sh.t out of
Geb, the cops are there, and Geb is handcuffed riding down Route 522 in the
backseat of a cop car looking out the back window at me. I waved to him with
one finger.

I figured I had enough of this troll and went on home. I hadn't heard from
Geb until I just read his post here trying to put the blame on me.

Shame on you Geb or whatever your name is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll bet the
Berkeley Springs police know your real name.

Mom

a very enjoyable read, this journal.  nice to see that things are
normalizing with your perception of things, too, Geb.

ha ha ha ha ha ha

cactus jammies
///////////////////////////////////////////////
It starts out like this.  Mom has to rush home from the office in
Winchester to meet with me for our rendezvous.  She's busy, busy, busy.
Just as soon as we are ready to leave for Berkley Springs for dinner,
her cell phone rings.  It's a real estate agent who has one of her
homes sold and is negotiating a commission.  We get to mom's office
building (she occupies the big office) and, just as we walk in the
door, two more customers show up and express interest in more
information. They are ready to buy!  This, incidentally, is all taking
place on a Saturday evening.   She has 400 homes sold with 100 left to
sell. They're going fast.  Mom's in the thick of it.  You do the
math.  Ok, now that's done and were off to Berkley Springs.

Of course we take Mom's car.  She drives.  It's a brand new blood red
Subaru AWD Legacy. The interior has that new smell.  Sweet!  The
weather is beautiful.  The road to Berkley Springs winds through the
Appalachian Mountains overlooking the Shenandoah Valley.  The view is
stupendous. We stop at a local bakery along the way well known for
their pies.  Mom suggests that buy one for my 84 year old father whom I
am caring for at my sister's house while she is in New Mexico.  We get
a big very heavy coconut cream pie.  Some of it Mom and I eat later in
the evening when get back to her house.  Some if it my dad eats this
morning for breakfast!  The rest sits on the kitchen counter in a
cardboard pie box waiting to be eaten by anyone who isn't afraid of
being inundated by calories.

We arrive at Lookout Point, park the car and get out taking in the
view.  Resplendent below us, in a cacofany of colors, is a panorama of
farms, forest and the Potomac River.  We take pictures (Elmo:  Mom
should send you these) and bask in the natural beauty of our
surroundings.  The warmth of the evening summer sun is offset ever so
slightly by the coolness of being up in the mountains.  We climb back
in the car and Mom drives down the mountain and into Berkeley Springs.

It's dinner time.  Mom selects Tari's Café.  It is owned and
operated by a woman one would have to meet to believe.  Quite the
character she is!  Mom orders seafood pasta and I have Jamaican style
pork covered with a mango sauce.  We order wine and Mom gets smashed.
She curses out the waitress.  A customer attempts to butt in. Mom slaps
his face.  He's a big biker and starts crying.  Mom hits him over the
head with a chair.  The police are called in and Mom explains how the
biker tried to feel her up. The cops take him away in cuffs despite his
whinnying protestations.  "It's all her fault, glug, glug, it's
all her fault, sob sob!"  "Blow it out your a.s ya big baby."
Mom shrieks while simultaneously winking at both cops.  So taken by
mom's seductive charm are the piggley wiggleys, that they commence to
beat on the biker with their flashlights as he cowers prostrate on the
sidewalk.  Hey Spidey!  Another toke of BC bud please.
Ahahahahahahahah!!!

Smiling Wickedly,  Geb Bixer answered:

Sounds like a GREAT evening...   THAT Mom. Sounds like she really knows
how to make someone feel special.    ;-)

Muwahahahahahaha..

but you are cutting the mustard? or does a toothache affect sphincter muscle
control, as well?

pain comes and then it goes, sorry to hear about your pains as they exist.

Cactus Jammies
/////////////////////////////////////////