I agree completely. I'm a novice guitar player and used to write a lot.
These days I just don't have the love for these things  that used to
make me feel so alive. I used to deny a diagnosis of MDD and Anxiety
disorder. I said to the psyche "Of course I'm bummed out, I have a
disease that has proven to be incurable (for me), liver failure almost
killed me several times and I have maybe a week each month that I feel
OK. It's normal to be depressed. I don't deny it anymore. I know it's
true, but I go to bed at night proud that I never surrendered and never
will. With a little help from your friends Hal. brian

Being tired from tx and preoccupied with this dragon will make anyone say
"What the f.ck!"
Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow!
For me, nothing that needs to get done seems important any more.
I am going to leave the dishes in the sink until they mold.
Sue

Hi Bobby,
 Except for huge gaps in my ability to get anything done that takes more
that twenty minutes, music is still the only outlet for me that has the
purity and the focus to make me feel like my time is being spent doing
anything else besides enduring the tx effects.  Politics was my big escapade
for the last thirty years while not at my job of work, being a party ward
boss so to speak, only without the connections, just the credentials.  Thank
goodness that is over in my life.  Tx taught me to slow down my reasoning
and to try to not continuing to score rhetorical points like I have been
doing since the sixties.

On the music front, building three slimline telecasters, a rickenbacker
bass clone, an acoustic lap steel and a few Jumbo 185s are still on the
list, but thank goodness the post office and customs eats up a lot of time
getting all the parts so I am not pressed into doing things on demand right
now.  My taste in music spans everything, and I concentrate on the way the
music resolves itself inside the groove of the peice.  I have also learned
how to finger pick properly in the past six months since I started tx, and I
am now playing my electric lap steel in a brand new tuning, and I have
learned how to play a Rickenbacker 12 string to some effect, as well.  But
it took lots of concentration and lots of marahoochie to evolve this
behaviour into a chain of events that cause things to happen.  If you know
what I mean.  (I can't say I stuck to any plan except a CD course on
musicology)

My fave guitar is still my '70 Les Paul Deluxe.  And one other thing about
this fudge brain stuff in tx.  I despise any wire with more than one end.
The amps, the mixing board, the microphones, the stomp pedal power sources,
all that stuff just sticks together like a big hairball sometimes, in which
cases I usually get blitzed and just listen for a while.  Wires.  Man'n
undoing.  Just look at VCR controls.  We were not meant to know that stuff.
Not that I would deny anyone the ability to try and convince me we are.

8-)

Nice hearing about your experience,  hope you are staying well

Cactus Jammies

Good to see you, Bobby!  How's your friend doing?  I gave a friend that
pretty blue Oscar Schmidt I got from JC Penney way back when and bought
a cheap Martin.  It's got that 'high and lonesome' sound and is easy to
play.  Blue grass season is coming, I'm planning to hang out in Eureka
Springs for awhile this summer.  
Elmo
/////////    
Hey Howard, don't have dates on my reader so I'm hoping this is current.
I been around a long time, helped Elmo with the guitar while we were on
the combo. For me the first 2 months found me 4 tracking everyday, for
as long and as much as I could, I play just about any instrument, and it
passed the time, Iwas able to perform well into the 3rd mont. Then it
all halted. Couldn't stan, couldnt remeber, couldn't listen. Didn't want
nuthin butthe tv on. It took a year after treatment and a great balance
of pharmacuticals to get me back on stage, but man, I came back great.
The joy music brought back into my life after treatment failed was a
gift. "Shoulda, coulda's"....I was well on my way of making music an
actual job, maybe even full time, but I got cut off at a bad time in
life......Just let things flow and you will have a chance, if you lose
it, to get it back, If you are a writer, ya might wanna go the Bukowski
or Thompson route, and artist, try oils instead of waters, change the
palate.
Bobby
"Harald Sundt" <h_sundt@efn.org> wrote in message
news:1112330331_19084@news-east.n...
I find my ability to desire and appreciate art or music and my creative
impulse in flatlined. It doesn't seen to be my anti-depressant, Effexor
(which suits me..it works)
At 54 I really don't like thinking of loosing a year to the relapser's
regimine of daily Interge/Ribavirin.
Tomorrow is promised no one.
Hal
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet
News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+
Newsgroups
----= East and West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption
=----

http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/DocElmosHepFile

http://community.webtv.net/elmoemerson/TheFamilyAlbum