BlankThe following may be a bit too graphic or detailed for some of you but
I had a seizure today and I want to bitch about my life.  I hate these
things as you hate your problems

I have had seizures since I was 11; I'm now 49.  In the beginning they were
grand mal and I had them for 10 years.  For the past 25 years I've been
having "pyscho-motor" or complex partial seizures.  Decades-old EEGs showed
an epileptic focus in the left temporal lobe.  They were diagnosed in a
neurologist's office after I described them to him and said, "As a matter of
fact, I feel that way right now."  He looked at me, I don't know how much
time lapsed and said, "What you just had is called a psycho-motor seizure."

I also have Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease( primary motor neuropathy) for which
I wear AFOs.  I've had this since birth but didn't need the AFOs until 1994.
My doctors say my inability to ejaculate while having intercourse is
probably due to the CMT.  I last masturbated in 1998 with my wife
(girlfriend at the time)

When I was 38, I was diagnosed as having bilateral cataracts.  Had them both
repaired - not both at the same time - and incurred one of the potential
complications: retinal detachments - both eyes.  I've had a total of 7
surgeries on my eyes and have lost about 20% of my right peripheral vision.

I got married in 2000 to the most wonderful woman to ever live.  We met on
the Internet.  The story of our first face-to-face meeting brought one of
the members of my Toastmaster's club to tears.  People say we should have
our "own show."  As a child, my wife slept in the same room as her
grandmother who had sleep apnea.  She diagnosed me as having it, too.  I had
a sleep study and the doctors agreed.  I now wear a mask at night and use a
BPAP.  The good thing about her diagnosis is that now I have a way to
minimize it.  I'm now getting rem sleep.  My brain says that BPAP and the
neurtontin are a solution not a problem but part of me doesn't care.

I take Keppra, Lamictal, neurontin, terazosin, prozac, lorazepam,
ranitidine, and phenobarb.

I know everyone else out here has problems just as I do.  Brain surgery has
never been suggested because, I'm sure, that it's not called for.  Those of
you who've had it, live with someone who has, or have some other association
with it are way ahead of me in problems to put up with.  So, too, are many
others but part of me doesn't care.  I'm just sick of this and want to vent.

I'm sure you'll reply and pretty sure I want to read those replies.  Why
else would I post this?  I can vent to my wife, doctors, the cats, and the
walls.

I'm calling my HMO tomorrow and will sign up for the "living with chronic
illness" stuff.  I hope to God it's not a group session.  I've had
individual and group therapy and have learned some very important things
about life but I don't like group therapy.

Thanks for listening,
Eph