After an absence seizure, I feel the missing time, i.e. as if I had just
woken up. With complex partials I am "partially" aware of what's happening
(at least for some of the time - they last up to 20 minutes), so when I come
out of it I can remember it happening. With a grand mal, there's no
mistaking it since I am on the floor groaning in pain, feeling like I've
just been hit by a truck.

I feel I'm about to have a fit. I used to describe the feeling as being
like extreme nerves before an exam but it definitely indicates something
epileptic. It either just fades away and I describe it as an aura or it
develops into an actual complex partial fit and I have no memory of what I
do just afterwards. According to my husband these 'automatic patches' may
last for 5-20mins. They used to end up with my finding myself on the way
home, or if already there, then in bed.

The last time was yesterday evening when I hadn't started eating my dinner.
I felt it coming on, told my husband and the next thing I knew was that I
was sitting in another room. Apparently I had been screaming for about a
minutes, saying I was terrified, and staggering about before saying I
didn't want any more to eat and insisted that what was left of both our
meals was thrown away in the way I decided. I apparently also said I
should take the pills I usually take after dinner but included one which
should only be taken on a full stomach. Later, when I asked why he hadn't
stopped me taking it, he pointed out that it was not surprising he'd
forgotten after having spent some time trying to control me when I was not
willing to listen to any other suggestions he'd made.

The social effects of having epilepsy can affect one's life a great deal
but I'm still glad I don't have to look after anyone else having fits like
mine.

One good thing about them is that they do sometimes seem to release a lot
of tension and make me feel a bit more relaxed the next day.

Chris L.

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