I don't know where to begin.  First, your family, friends, school need to know
the facts because this is a medical problem and not a behavior problem.  Let
them know you and your doctor are trying to find a way to solve this problem and
that it might take some time.   I can't really tell if your mom just doesn't
understand epilepsy (and depression) or is worried about the agressiveness.  I'm
getting the feeling that the agressiveness is pretty serious if people are
afraid of you or don't want you around.  Your hospital, doctor, or local
epilepsy association may have educational materials for family, friends,
co-workers.  I think significant others are more likely to believe a written
pamphlet from a healthcare provider than from us.

It sounds like the Tegretol isn't controlling your seizures very well if you are
in the hospital every month.  In fact, I don't understand how the doctor can say
the symptoms are solely from that medicine.  I mean, every symptom you mentioned
could be from epilepsy and/or depression.

Depression is also a medical problem and may or may not be directly related to
the seizures.  It could be that the drugged up feeling is actually due to
seizure activity and/or the depression and not from the drugs.

I don't know what kind of seizures you have, how long you've had it, how long
you've been on meds, how much you know about epilepsy and depression, etc.  A
person has to have an extraordinary amount of patience trying to find a way to
control both epilepsy and depression.  Because some of the meds for epilepsy and
depression are not sustained released, we have to be religous in taking them.
We can't skip or be late with a dose with some of these medications.

You are going to have to learn how to recognize what is happening to you and how
to comfort yourself.  When I feel one of these symptoms coming I talk to myself
mentally and say things like, "this is the epilepsy doing this and not me," this
is not really me," and "this will be over with in a few minutes."  You have to
be aware of any factor that could contribute to the problem such as lack of
sleep, photosensitivity, and so on.

You will probably need to get information or attend a class on anger management
because they can teach you how to deal with this, the agressiveness.  Even
though the agressiveness, yelling, outbursts, etc. might be related to a health
condition, we still have to try to control it by any means possible.  You will
have to share what you've learned in anger management class with significant
others because they may not understand the methods you will use to combat this
problem.

Find any means of support you can.  You need other people who have or have had
similiar problems.  They can help you and you can help them.

Think of this as a medical condition and a temporary one.  A huge number of
people do respond well to medication (or other treament), but it might take a
long time to find which medication and which dose is the best.  Right now, your
health comes first.  Don't feel guilty about taking steps necessary to feel
better right now.  For example, if you have to cut down your school classes,
social life or other activities, think of it as a temporary situation.  Never
feel guilty about asking for help either.

Barb

Bernie,

Lack of sleep is perhaps the most typical trigger. With your class load, you
can't be getting enough. My minimum is 8 hours/night.

I've been on tegretol for 5 years but have never heard of the anger/tegretol
thing, however, my wife was warned when I first started having seizures that
one of the common side symptoms of epilepsy was a shorter temper.

There's a lot in what you say that I don't understand. Why don't you tell
people what's going on? They know how sick you are and couldn't take any
more? But you say they're your friends, so why should they not know? And
what is the sickness that they do know about if it isn't that you have
epilepsy?

Something isn't making sense.

Jack