HATE SITE INSULTS PRACTITIONERS OF COPROPHAGIA
Jamie Baillie
2008 NAMBLA Spokesman
2008 NAMBLA Activist of the Month (May)
http://www.nambla.org

This is a hate site pure and simple.  I have praciticed the nobal art
of coprophagia for years and it has done more for me than any damned
woman has ever doned.  The sweet smell of someone's doody who has
eaten lots of oatmeal or boiled eggs makes me so hard I cant stand
it.

Attentino straight dope.com, you will remove this hateful article
immediately and ban the hateful poster from your networks.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/050610.html

Dear Cecil:

Being a woman of the world, I've encountered quite a few strange
fetishes in my life. However, my brother Mikey and his hopelessly
blond girlfriend recently got into coprophagia. I'm a pretty open-
minded gal, but I draw the line when I have to kiss the face
that . . . well, you know. Alas, pointing out the bizarre and
repugnant nature of his behavior has done little to change my lost
sibling's ways. After reading a column on your site that referenced
how food-service workers not washing their hands after going to the
bathroom could promote the spread of disease, I started to wonder just
how dangerous coprophagia is. What are the risks? Beyond disease, what
could go wrong? --Mistress Anastasia in San Francisco

Cecil replies:

You discuss kinky sex practices with your brother? Man, family dinner
at your house must be a trip. Still, revolting though we may find
coprophagia (sh.t eating, for you innocents), what's the Straight Dope
for if not to illuminate the universe's darker recesses? Herewith a
smattering of coprofacts, on the theory that forewarned is forearmed.
The professional and for that matter the popular literature on
coprophagia is pretty thin. Marine biologist Ralph Lewin, in his
delightful (really) book Merde: Excursions in Scientific, Cultural,
and Sociohistorical Coprology (1999), devotes a scant six pages to the
subject, and these are entirely given over to a discussion of
coprophagia among animals. Apparently the practice is common among
rabbits, some rodents, and other herbivores that despite a cellulose-
heavy diet lack the elaborate digestive plumbing of ruminants and thus
must eat everything twice to obtain maximum nutritional benefit. "As a
result of what is called 'colonic sorting,'" Lewin writes, "the
nighttime feces of rabbits are soft and black, consisting of partly
digested grasses and other leaves, and are nibbled straight from the
anus as a kind of breakfast." Dogs are also notorious coprophages,
doing it mainly to gross out their owners.

In a follow-up article ("More on Merde," Perspectives in Biology and
Medicine 2001), Lewin offers a few additional insights on coprophagy,
including 1.5 paragraphs on its practice among humans, the general
message of which is that only pranksters and crazy people do this.
"However," his inner scientist compels him to observe, "consumption of
fresh, warm camel feces has been recommended by Bedouins as a remedy
for bacterial dysentery; its efficacy (probably attributable to the
antibiotic subtilisin from Bacillus subtilis) was confirmed by German
soldiers in Africa during World War II." Never mind the cataclysmic
case of the runs those German soldiers must have had to try this
therapy. What I want to know is how the Bedouins figured it out:
"Whoa, bacterial dysentery! Let's eat some camel crap."

Combing further through the journals, we find near-unanimous
professional belief that virtually all human coprophages are mentally
ill, retarded, or otherwise missing a few teeth off the main sprocket.
A 1995 study of a 47-year-old police officer who graduated from fecal
smearing to full-scale coprophagia (Wise and Goldberg, Journal of Sex
and Marital Therapy) notes, "The case is the first described in a
nonpsychotic [but still nutty] adult of normal intelligence." You
might want to advance medical science by having the authors out to the
house to meet your brother, although, to avoid reinforcing cruel
stereotypes, perhaps you should hide the blond.

OK, diseases. While the hazards of coprophagia as such have attracted
little medical interest, it's safe to say initiates in the brown arts
are susceptible to many of the same ills dogging devotees of
anilingus, fellatio following anal intercourse, and other more widely
studied pastimes. Risks include viral hepatitis and parasitic
intestinal infections such as giardiasis (symptoms include nausea,
sulfurous belches, diarrhea, and weight loss), amebiasis (bloody
colitis in extreme cases), cryptosporidiosis (nausea, vomiting, low
fever, cramps, diarrhea), shigellosis (nausea, diarrhea, fever),
campylobacter enteritis (in extreme cases, severe diarrhea with blood
and pus), and strongyloidiasis, or infestation with roundworms (which
in sufficient numbers can cause intestinal blockage). To be fair, such
ailments are less of a problem for a monogamous couple than for people
having sex with multiple partners, each of whom may bring a new set of
bugs to the table. As for what could go wrong "beyond disease," I
suppose there's always choking, although I found no reported cases of
this other than one brain-damaged fellow who, if I understand the
matter correctly, asphyxiated on hardened stool. Don't expect this
recitation to have much effect on your brother, though. You think the
prospect of roundworms is likely to deter someone who doesn't blanch
when told, open wide?

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notice the lack of a valid postmaster or abuse desk number or working
telephone number.  I bet the address is a phony too so this one is
going to RFCIGNORANT.ORG!

--

Jamie Baillie
2008 NAMBLA Spokesman
2008 NAMBLA Activist of the Month (May)
http://www.nambla.org

darkshad@nambla.org
darkshad@darkshado.ca
darkshad99@gmail.com

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"The best sex I ever had was with my neighbor's nine year old boy"
Jamie Baillie

"Consumption of a young boy's feces will instantly cure all forms of
impotence.  Works for me!!!"
Jamie Baillie