Are you spending this Mother’s Day wondering if you are, in fact, a
mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question
every year after suffering pregnancy loss. “For women who experience a
miscarriage during their first pregnancy, the question of motherhood
is an even greater one,” says Lisa Church of HopeXchange, a company
dedicated to the support of women and their families facing pregnancy
loss.

Mother’s Day is the most difficult holiday a woman must face after
pregnancy loss. A time that was supposed to be a celebration of a new
life and a new motherhood becomes a time of sadness and grief.
Church’s book, Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After
Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, encourages women to use the
holiday to remember their babies, rather than making it a dreaded
event to endure each year. “Nothing will lesson the pain of Mother’s
Day, but with some planning you can make sure the day has meaning for
you,” says Church. Here are some tips from the book that can help:

- You Are a Mother.

The best gift you can give yourself on Mother’s Day is the
acknowledgement that you are a mother. You may not have a baby to hold
in your arms, but you do have one in your heart.

- Let Your Family Know What You Need.

If you feel uncomfortable being recognized as a mother at a banquet or
other function, substitute an activity you would feel good about. If
you would rather not receive or wear a flower, then wear an item that
helps you to connect with your baby, such as a piece of jewelry that

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