Courtesy of a friend:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of
the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER
SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize
how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of
having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road,
or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There
is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions.
I am for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little
bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the
road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of
crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only >
Cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book.
Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(
C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

Cheers, Alan, T2, Australia.
d&e, metformin 2x500mg