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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Diabetes / January 2006Diabetics and Suffering : Musings on a Sunday Afternoon
Hi Group, Today, I have been doing a little bit of thinking about our situation... Some of us who have had this disease for a while are getting to be really great at something that is always there, but somehow, not what we choose to make our life about. That is suffering. Believe me, I as most of you, know what suffering is all about. Sometimes, for some of us, it is all we can do to put one foot in front of the other. I was reminded today of a story by Friedrich Durenmatt, a German Swiss, who wrote a radio play in1951, called "Nocturnal Conversation with a Despised Person" ("Nachtliches Gesprach mit einem Verachten Menschen"), which appears in "Gesammelte Horspiele" (Zurich: Peter Schifferli, 1960). I give the publication data, in case anyone wants to look it up. Anyway, the story is about a writer who above all stands for justice, freedom and decency, and he sadly lives behind the Iron Curtain. Because he is such a pariah, owing to his penchant for truth, justice and freedom, he lives in isolation, and everyone in his town avoids him. He knows it is just a question of time, before he has a visitor, and he desperately wants to tell someone, before he dies, how it is with him, and what he feels. No one comes, until one evening, the public executioner comes calling, who has orders to slit the writer's throat. The story then evolves into what should be his response to the man whose duty it is to kill him.... Does he protest, struggle, call for help, or humbly submit? At first he calls for help, and no one comes... His plaintiff cries go out into the night and no one comes... For those who do not know me, or have any idea of what I am all about, I offer this, because it strikes me that we who have diabetes are in some ways like the gentleman who is about to be exectued by the public executioner, without trial, accusation, or anything else. Maybe, I am too much of a philosopher, and maybe no one wants to think, but I submit that there are some ways to deal with our situation and inevitable fate that are better for us as individuals than others. Above all, I would suggest that we educate ourselves, be responsible, both to ourselves and to all others in our lives, and keep our dignity. In the words of my father and of many of those in the English speaking world, let's not let " the bastards grind us down." As I was thinking about all this today, the following quote attributed to Victor Hugo came to mind. "Souffrons, mais souffrons sur les cimes." -If we must suffer, let us suffer nobly.- In short, my friends, it is not over, until it is over, or until the fat lady sings.... I love you all. Will, T2 >Hi Group, > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >Sometimes, for some of us, it is all we can do to put one foot in >front of the other. snip >Above all, I would suggest that we educate ourselves, be responsible, >both to ourselves and to all others in our lives, and keep our [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >Will, T2 Diabetes has taken so much from me. If my latest fears come to pass, I will welcome the fat lady in my house. Andrea2 ------------------------------------------------- The future life is the all-important thing. -- Gosho wa daiji >>Hi Group, >> [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >The future life is the all-important thing. > -- Gosho wa daiji I am so sorry, Andrea2. If there were any way I could restore to you what you have lost, I would. I know that also goes DOUBLE, for all the very many others who care, in this group.... Please let us know if there is any way in which we can help you... By the way, I am familiar with the proverb in your sig... You are very cool, by me. Always your caring and devoted friend, Will, T2 >>Hi Group, >> [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > The future life is the all-important thing. > -- Gosho wa daiji Diabetes has put us all on a totally different path than we thought!!!I can see where some of you have put a lot of time & effort into understanding the effects of diabetes on our lives and health. i.e. OldAl, Quentin, Guy etc... I try to read this ng every night, my days are filled with planning what to eat, testing, taking pills, observing minor/major changes with my health/moods etc... The shock & disappoinments of being rejected for life insurance, the fear with a new employer and their medical insurance, the reporting of our illness to DMV, mortgage, loans etc....the frequent visits to our drs/endos, the label reading on every food product, portion control, telling/not telling others of our disease, and the fingers crossed that we can keep the complications at bay. At the same time, I have met some really dedicated folks on this ng who out of selflessness want to share their experiences in hope that they have helped someone add one more day longer to their lives. I have improved my lipids and overall health (relatively speaking) and I know my body more now than ever! Yes, this is a club that not one of was wanted to join, but we have made the most of it and I know that if I have never found this ng, my heath would have been a lot worse!!! "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." Thoreau Trinity  Signaturetrinitytype2@nospamyahoo.ca remove nospam dx Oct 2003, Type 2, metformin 500mg/2xday low dose aspirin 3x week walking 30 min/day A1C 5.4 40 lbs lost next goal: gain muscle strength > The shock & disappoinments of being rejected for life insurance, the > fear with a new employer and their medical insurance, the reporting of > our illness to DMV, mortgage, loans etc....the frequent visits to our > drs/endos, the label reading on every food product, portion control, > telling/not telling others of our disease, and the fingers crossed that > we can keep the complications at bay. Trinity, I couldn't agree more. One question though, why report our illness to the DMV unless we are applying for a job that involves driving, or eye trouble has occured? Why report our illness for a mortgage, or for a loan? The less information that is volunteered (not hidden, just not volunteered) the better. If I am outright asked by any of those entities, I will state that I have diabetes, but if the informaiton is not mandatory, and really doesn't apply, why volunteer it? I drive, own a home, and have never been asked by any of those entities about my health. Am I missing a step somewhere? When I had supplemental life insurance, I had to prove that my diabetes is under control in order for the company to insure me. Many of my friends and family don't understand what daily life with diabetes is like. Sometimes I wish that they could shadow me for a couple of days and then they would understand why I have to plan everything, read everything, measure most things,. decline a lot of things, watch this, watch that, do this, do that, get my rest, on and on. I really enjoy reading and conversing with people in this ng and have learned a lot from others here. Support makes a world of difference, and I am glad that we are here ot support each other and exchange information and ideas. Patti >>The shock & disappoinments of being rejected for life insurance, the >>fear with a new employer and their medical insurance, the reporting of [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Patti I'm in Canada. It's on the questionnaire for DMV and mortgage, so maybe it's different where you are. Trinity Signaturetrinitytype2@nospamyahoo.ca remove nospam dx Oct 2003, Type 2, metformin 500mg/2xday low dose aspirin 3x week walking 30 min/day A1C 5.4 40 lbs lost next goal: gain muscle strength >>> The shock & disappoinments of being rejected for life insurance, the >>> fear with a new employer and their medical insurance, the reporting of [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > it's different where you are. > Trinity It's different for each jurisdiction, I suppose. I just renewed my license, and I didn't even get a form for the doctor to fill out this time around. My doctor has the power to revoke my license on the spot if she feels it's necessary. I'm anal about testing before driving, and she knows that. Mortgages have to be insured, so it stands to reason that the question would be there. Vicki >>Hi Group, >> [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >The future life is the all-important thing. > -- Gosho wa daiji Andrea, sounds to me that you are ready for another Hawaii vacation. Is your work situation the same? Maybe you can wheedle a trip. I'm sure things will improve for you. You have gone through more than enough. Sleepy _______________________________________________________ The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. -Hans Hofmann, painter (1880-1966) _______________________________________________________ >Andrea, sounds to me that you are ready for another Hawaii vacation. >Is your work situation the same? Maybe you can wheedle a trip. I'm [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >necessary may speak. -Hans Hofmann, painter (1880-1966) >_______________________________________________________ I haven't worked since Aug 04. I had to stop when I was pregnant and I never went back. It would be nice to travel but every time we plan a trip something comes up, like me and my medical problems or his daughter and grandkids having problems. We have been talking about a trip to New Zealand. Maybe if this peripheral vascular disease gets resolved we can go. Nice to hear from you, take care of yourself, Andrea2 Type 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------- Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. -- Buddha Will, did I email you my response instead of posting it. I cannot find it here. Loretta -- In tribute to the United States of America and the State of Israel, two bastions of strength in a world filled with strife and terrorism. Will and everyone: thanks for sharing those thoughts. I find support and hope in the newsgroup and other forums, that help me daily fight back against this foolish disease. I like hearing from others their strategies, sucesses and failures in our mutual fight. Will - I very much enjoy your reasoned thinking and posts. Thank you. Loretta - how's the ankle? How are you doing now that the shiva is over? My thoughts & prayers are with you. Barbara, who choses today to engage in the struggle with diabetes > Will and everyone: thanks for sharing those thoughts. I find support > and hope in the newsgroup and other forums, that help me daily fight [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > over? My thoughts & prayers are with you. > Barbara, who choses today to engage in the struggle with diabetes Thanks Barbara.... I just gotta be me! Seriously, I very much enjoy you and your posts, as well. Please do not ever give up. And, when you slip, be kind to your self and just get back with the program. Will, T2 > Will, did I email you my response instead of posting it. I cannot find > it here. > > Loretta Hi Loretta, I don't think so... I have not received any email from you since about the time of your family tragedy. I sincerely hope you are through the worst of it, although I know the shock and sense of loss will continue for some time, and really, probably forever.... Still one must adjust and carry on. While you are picking up the pieces, please let me, and all the rest of us, know if we can do anything at all to be of support. Will, T2 >Hi Group, > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >Sometimes, for some of us, it is all we can do to put one foot in >front of the other. Maybe it's best not to worry too much about the deeper meaning of these things, and simply live in the present. There's a line from Kipling's poem "The Young British Soldier" that's always stuck with me -- "Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck / And march to your front like a soldier." > Maybe it's best not to worry too much about the deeper meaning of > these things, and simply live in the present. > > There's a line from Kipling's poem "The Young British Soldier" that's > always stuck with me -- "Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your > luck / And march to your front like a soldier." Kipling has always been one of my favorites... Your post also brings to mind Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade". You have also stirred me to recall the heroic tragedy of the ANZACs at Gallipoli, which was immortalized in the movie of the same name that came out in 1981. If there was ever a senseless slaughter of fine and heroic young men, that campaign was it. Remember what I have said on another occasion about bad brains at the top.... I truly do appreciate your post, Alexander, and yes, maybe we should not worry too much. It certainly has not been my intention to cause anyone to worry. Rather, it was my hope in making the original post that some might draw from it a sense of adjustment in their suffering, if not inspiration to better living. Anyone who thinks to quote Kipling in response to anything I may through out, though, must be a spendid person. I hope you have a very fine evening, and maybe we shall talk again. Will, T2 >> Maybe it's best not to worry too much about the deeper meaning of >> these things, and simply live in the present. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > Will, T2 Kipling is terrific. It's almost a rite of passage in my family to read Kiplings "If". I keep this link handy in my favorites. Always a good uplifting read. http://www.swarthmore.edu/~apreset1/docs/if.html > Kipling is terrific. It's almost a rite of passage in my family to read > Kiplings "If". > > I keep this link handy in my favorites. Always a good uplifting read. > > http://www.swarthmore.edu/~apreset1/docs/if.html Thanks, Gene. The sentiments expressed in that poem sure beat simply gently easing oneself down upon the devil's pitchfork and waiting for the disposal unit! Will, t2 >> Kipling is terrific. It's almost a rite of passage in my family to >> read Kiplings "If". [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Will, t2 That's a vivid string of words. Especially for someone who has felt the tines a time or two. > That's a vivid string of words. Especially for someone who has felt the > tines a time or two. We are all just a few heartbeats away all the time, Gene.... Dying is nothing to be afraid of, though, I have been there..... The experience was beyond description. There are simply no words. Cardiac arrest is not something I would recommend as a casual exerience, though. Ha! In the words of my doctor, I "almost did not make it." Among the lessons I have learned is that I have to find my own meaning in life and to live life joyously and fearlessly. I think everyone has to learn the same things for themselves. No one has a monopoly on this kind of knowledge, and trying to go by someone else's "received experience" is no substitute for one's own experience, whatever it may lead them to. As a friend of mine says, we each have our own "dharma". Sometimes I don't always remember my own advice, however. We are all human, and we get caught up in the business of the day. Will, T2 >> That's a vivid string of words. Especially for someone who has felt >> the tines a time or two. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Will, T2 I don't know Will. I can not be comfortable, nor do I want to be comfortable, unless those around me are comfortable also. Since that's an impossible goal, I guess I'm stuck with glimpses of 'joyously'. But then maybe 'joyously' is like a fine wine and too much dulls the senses. Believe it or not, Gene, I have a very clear memory of the whole thing.... And even now, I am reluctant to talk much about it, except in certain situations, which would not include a newsgroup on usenet. But I can tell you this. I had the opportunity to die, and I did not, because I was worried about my daughters and what would happen to them.... It was given to me to choose life.... Then, I entered another phase, before I came back, so to speak... And then when I realized what was going on, and wanted to stay, I could not.... This is why I say, death does not seem so bad for me..... And, beyond that I do not feel I should disuss it on here. If you ever want to discuss these things privately, we'll see. Will, T2 > Believe it or not, Gene, I have a very clear memory of the whole > thing.... And even now, I am reluctant to talk much about it, except [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Will, T2 No sweat Will. I understand completely. Not all folks are open to different ideas - especially today. Me, I can digest just about anything - as long as there are no carbs involved. I'm in the process of moving and I'm not sure what I'll end up with. I have a bellsouth account now but I'm looking at a comcast/vontage package which will change my e-mail but save me money and give me better service. Ma bell was a terrific old gal but her sisters just don't seem to measure up. Everything all depends on where I end up this next month. etgattett@ (removethisjunk)bellsouth.net is my address for the next couple of weeks. Well, Gene, I'll keep in touch, and you do the same. I am listed on the group website, by the way. And if you really made a point of it, I am readily accessible via web search, since I have a website for my law firm. Also, my email wmmckee@cox.net really does work. I check it several times a day. My spam buster and anti-virus have been more than adequate to take care of any problems, so far. You are one super guy. Will, T2 Will, you would be amazed how many people would truly understand and even perhaps benefit. SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox') > Believe it or not, Gene, I have a very clear memory of the whole thing.... > And even now, I am reluctant to talk much about it, except in certain [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Will, T2 > Will, you would be amazed how many people would truly understand and even > perhaps benefit. > -- Evelyn, I'll send you an email soon, but I feel I should be somewhat reserved about what I say and how I say it, because most of the world just would not understand.... You might, but you are the exception. I was in Bardo Thodol and returned. After years of contemplation of these things, I now feel that I can cautiously say I have found some sort of meaning to my life, anyway, and a major part of what gives life meaning is being of service to others, in whatever way is presented.... Part of the paradox, I believe, is that in the traditional sense, I came to realize that there is no "meaning", as most people conceive of that term. Part of the point is that there is no point, in my view. And when I got to the place that was no place, everything changed for me. Does that make any kind of sense? Believe me, when I say, I make no claims..... I am still just a kid, looking through the slats of his crib, .....wondering what's going on? Will, T >> Will, you would be amazed how many people would truly understand and even >> perhaps benefit. [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Will, T Dear Will, I do understand. It makes sense to me. :-) SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn (to reply to me personally, remove 'sox') |
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