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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / April 2005My dad has cancer
Hi, About 7 wks. ago my father was diagnosed with lung, bone, and brain cancer. The doctor gave him 8 months to a year to live. The doctor told him he could have radiation only for comfort reasons. My dad thought he might as well try and get radiation on everything since, in his mind, he thought there was a possibility that the radiation could heal him. Into the third week, the radiation hit my dad hard. He stays in bed now, very week. He can't even sit up. We have tried to get him to eat but it's very hard to. We keep him hydrated with water, cokes, and a calorie supplement called Boost. He is also taking Centrum. My mom has arranged for his care during the day while she has to work. Can someone who has experienced a loved one or friend stricken by this terrible disease please tell me what is to be expected? If there is any hope my father will regain his strength and at least have a few happy months of living normally again? Any response will be appreciated. Thank you. > Hi, > About 7 wks. ago my father was diagnosed with lung, bone, and brain [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > Any response will be appreciated. > Thank you. Sorry to hear about your dad. You should really talk to your dad's docs about how long it will take for your dad to regain his strength and how much he will regain. I can't tell you what is to be expected. But, I can tell you what you can do to help: Be there for your mom and dad. It may not sound like much, but it is really everything. From what you said, it is hard to tell if it is the radiation that is making him weak or the cancer itself or something else. You should talk to the doc about hospice care and support groups in your area. Often, the requirement for hospice care is that one has a life-expectancy of six months or less. Hospice care includes special units in hospitals that are dedicated to caring for people in the final days and weeks of life as well as programs that provide nursing care for patients at home. Jeff Thanks Jeff :) > About 7 wks. ago my father was diagnosed with lung, bone, and brain cancer. > The doctor gave him 8 months to a year to live. The doctor told him he [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > hope my father will regain his strength and at least have a few happy > months of living normally again? My cousin had some good months after radiation therapy and chemo. It's hard to say since we can't see what shape your father's in nor his age. My cousin was 46 or 47? and fairly healthy but he had lost lots of weight. He and his sister went out places and got foods he liked. If they radiated his lungs he could have esophagitis or fungal infection or teeth/gum problems, making eating difficult. That's treatable. Coke is dehydrating (I think), but if he's dying let him drink all he wants. If he's not dying, do try to keep him eating and ambulatory or at least sitting up to try to avoid swallowing wrong and/or getting pneumonia. Looks early to me for the 6=month criteria for hospice, unless I've calculated wrong. I suppose a doctor would be willing to say/write that he has less than six months, but what happens if the oncologist is right and he has longer? can his family doctor try to sort some things out and see if anything can be improved? I wish you well..difficult situation to sort out, especially over the internet. J-not a doctor. >> About 7 wks. ago my father was diagnosed with lung, bone, and brain >> cancer. [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > Coke is dehydrating (I think), but if he's dying let him drink all he > wants. Actually, the caffiene is coke is a diuretic (makes you pee). But, it is not so strong of a diuretic that it will make you dehydrated. The mechanisms that help the body conserve water are able to counteract the diuretic effects. Coke also contains phosphoric acid, which is a mild antiemetic (acts against nausea and vomiting), so this is a plus, too. So let him drink all the coke he wants. > If he's not dying, do try to keep him eating and ambulatory or at least > sitting [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > than > six months, but what happens if the oncologist is right and he has longer? They keep caring for them no matter how long they live. And the six-month rule is not hard and fast (although insurance companies often require it - but 8 months - 7 weeks = 6 months 1 week - and the situation may have changed. I know the math on how long he has is a little much - but the insurance companies do it). > can his family doctor try to sort some things out and see if anything can > be > improved? Definitely his family doctor and oncologists, radiation oncologists, etc., should be involved in his care. Family docs are often very good at the overall care of the patient -- often better than oncologists. Jeff > I wish you well..difficult situation to sort out, especially over the > internet. > > J-not a doctor. > "J" <plaid@example.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > changed. I know the math on how long he has is a little much - but the > insurance companies do it). Thanks for clarifying some things Jeff. I must remember about the coke. I've been spreading misinformation about that. Please note that the oncologist told him 8 months to a year. So your calculation was at the short end of the prognosis. Prognosticating can be difficult. We don't even know his age, extent of involvement of the lung or lungs, type of lung cancer. (I wish posters gave more details). A father can be 32 yo anywhere up to 100 yo or more.. Mom (in her 70's) died 3 weeks after entering hospital and being dx'd with I assume NSCLC. (some mets to the liver and bones) Socks (40's) on the other newsgroup was told 3 months. 4 years later, he's still there. Rian - (50's) tumor could not be resected, spread to the adrenal. Took chemo, died (IIRC) 2.5 years later. So is it the brain tumours that tell you that it could be less? While I agree that hospice is very helpful, if he "bounces back" in a month and can have good quality of life, he may not want hospice involved until more symptoms occur.. J > Actually, the caffiene is coke is a diuretic (makes you pee). But, it is not > so strong of a diuretic that it will make you dehydrated. The mechanisms [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > So let him drink all the coke he wants. Well, Jeff, yesterday I had 2 cokes and I woke up with "dry mouth". It's not just one instance; I've had that happen over and over (over a period of years). So drinking cokes may not cause systemic dehydration, but IMO it does dehydrate. Perhaps it doesn't in males; but it does in females? (hormones/age) also because cokes vary by country/by caffeine free (etc). Our beers are better than yours; so maybe our coke is stronger than yours. (assuming you're in the US) Restaurant cokes; big bottled cokes (to me) seem weaker than canned or small bottled.. YMMV So if I was in the poster's father's situation, I would want coke; lots of water near the bedside; and a portable potty, because of the diuretic effect.But I'd still want my coke <g> J >> Actually, the caffiene is coke is a diuretic (makes you pee). But, it is >> not [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > So drinking cokes may not cause systemic dehydration, but IMO it does > dehydrate. It is a mild diuretic. And some people are more sensitive than others. Does it seems to make you pee more? It might be drying your mouth out without dehyrdrating you. > Perhaps it doesn't in males; but it does in females? (hormones/age) > also because cokes vary by country/by caffeine free (etc). If it makes you pee too much, don't drink it. I am not sure why it varies. > Our beers are better than yours; so maybe our coke is stronger than yours. > (assuming you're in the US) Some of our beer and wine is excellent. The beers most available in bars isn't that good. > Restaurant cokes; big bottled cokes (to me) seem weaker than canned or > small > bottled.. > YMMV I didn't notice any different between Diet Coke (US) and Coke Lite (France). > So if I was in the poster's father's situation, I would want coke; lots of > water > near the bedside; and a portable potty, because of the diuretic effect.But > I'd > still want my coke <g> I drink Diet Pepsi. The water in the Diet Pepsi is a diuretic too. Even if he drank water, he still have to pee more. If the soda is making him pee a bit more (which is probably all it would do), and makes him drink more, it is probably a good thing. If it were me, I would rather use one of the urinal bottle things or better yet, get to the toilet on my own. Jeff > J > "J" <plaid@example.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > It is a mild diuretic. And some people are more sensitive than others. Does > it seems to make you pee more? Maybe, maybe causes urgency? Is there something in it that might be a bladder irritant? > It might be drying your mouth out without > dehyrdrating you. Definitely, because the rest of me isn't dehydrated. > > Perhaps it doesn't in males; but it does in females? (hormones/age) > > also because cokes vary by country/by caffeine free (etc). > > If it makes you pee too much, don't drink it. Obviously. > I am not sure why it varies. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Some of our beer and wine is excellent. The beers most available in bars > isn't that good. Sorry for dissing your beers. It was true years ago. But in fairness, it's been years since I tried US beers. As I recall most of the beer drinking was either someone else's choice bottled or in bars, so perhaps that explains part of it > <snipped pepsi /coke..> > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > would rather use one of the urinal bottle things or better yet, get to the > toilet on my own. Good points, Jeff. Mainly..my computer was down for almost 2 weeks and I wanted to apologize for dissing US beers. I'll reserve the right to do so later, if I ever get to taste some more. ;-) Thanks for the interesting info about coke. Regards J (...) >> It is a mild diuretic. And some people are more sensitive than others. >> Does [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > bladder > irritant? It might increase the activity of the bladder muscle (detruser muscle), increasing the frequency. Also, when the bladder fills up faster, the increased rate of filling causes you to have the urge to go (in other words, faster filling makes you have the urge with lower bladder volumes). >> It might be drying your mouth out without >> dehyrdrating you. > > Definitely, because the rest of me isn't dehydrated. But different peopel will react differently. >> > Perhaps it doesn't in males; but it does in females? (hormones/age) >> > also because cokes vary by country/by caffeine free (etc). [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > for > dissing US beers. No offense taken. I think most of them are not that good. A few are very good, though. > I'll reserve the right to do so later, if I ever get to taste some more. > ;-) > Thanks for the interesting info about coke. > Regards > J NP jeff Hey, Can you tell me what kind of foods your cousin liked? It's so hard trying to find my dad something he will eat. He's trying not to take so many pain pills now so his appetite is improving. We are also going to check into Hospice. Thanks. > Can you tell me what kind of foods your cousin liked? > It's so hard trying to find my dad something he will eat. > He's trying not to take so many pain pills now so his appetite is > improving. > We are also going to check into Hospice. Hi Melissa, I read your other post. I also posted it over to alt.support.cancer. That's the "hugs"/support newsgroup news:alt.support.cancer if you click on this it might get subscribed for you, then the messages would probably download and you could find the post that I sent over there and any replies. May not be immediate, because I hear it's "March break" and some may be vacationing and it's the weekend. We can be there for you if and when you want to vent, ask questions, talk to others, relate to others, get tips from others there, keep in touch, know that we care about you and your father and family. It's good to hear that hospice will be involved. He may well slowly bounce back from the fatigue and dizziness. I think that Bob mentioned dizziness from the radiation therapy to the brain and it's cleared now. My cousin lived a distance from me. His sister sent me a detailled description of what happened. She did not list all the foods. They were part of a church group and met regularly and (probably) mostly women brought food, so he got to eat variety that way. She mentions a celebration and chocolate cake, shopping for groceries (she cooked), and stopping to share a basket of french fries.;-) Might not be on your Dad's fav list. As best I can tell, he ate whatever he wanted whenever he was hungry and in small amounts at a time. There's 2 threads that you might want to read from that newsgroup. Click on this, then click on the thread and start with the first post. If someone mentions juicing, ignore it unless he happens to also like juices but try to make sure he gets a somewhat balanced and probably high calorie diet. http://tinyurl.com/4o8bc There's another thread where someone asked for quick meal ideas http://tinyurl.com/4x2vm On both I also posted links to webpages that had recipes. I also posted some meal ideas about making a recipe and freezing them into smaller ice cube containers or a cup and freeze them. Another poster who'se sister had cancer, bought her a small microwave, so the precooked meals could be defrosted and heated up quickly, to be ready at a moment's notice, when hunger was evident.. I think you'll have to work with your mum as to what your father likes or doesn't. You might want to make sure that he has more than one choice, each time you offer. That way if one does not appeal to him, the other might. I see you mentioned dizziness. Dad had postural hypotension. Hospice may have some tips about that. Or ask them about these..http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/pos.html I'm sure they'll help you out. Do join us on alt.support.cancer, as you are able. I will watch for your posts there. J > Hi, > About 7 wks. ago my father was diagnosed with lung, bone, and brain cancer. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > Any response will be appreciated. > Thank you. Melissa, first of all stay cool. Easy to say I know, but its the only way you'll be able to help your dad. What is his diagnosis, ie where did the tumor start before it spread? I'm assuming its lung cancer, and radiation of his head for the brain mets, and now he's weak. Tiredness during and after radiation is not unusual, esp. after brain irradiation. If his lungs are full of tumor(s) he'll lose weight fast, it can also cause shortness of breath. The bone mets can cause pain. Give him a month or so to get over the radiation and then try to mobilise him. Getting him moving will improve his appetite automatically. Strong painkillers also dont help the appetite. His prognosis will be determined by the brain mets: the part of the brain they are located in, their size and their response to the treatment. madiba > > Hi, > > About 7 wks. ago my father was diagnosed with lung, bone, and brain cancer. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > mets can cause pain. Give him a month or so to get over the radiation > and then try to mobilise him. I agree with that, but please note she wrote "got radiation on everything". So I assume that pain meds aren't relevant at the moment? J Hello Madiba. Thank you for responding to my post. My dad was diagnosed with Mesothelioma (Cancer from asbetos) back in the early 90's. Why the doctor didn't perform surgery on him then will always be a mystery to me. My dad is in his late 60's and I guess the doctor thought he would die of old age before the cancer took him. I will never know. In November of '04 my dad had to start on oxygen because he was complaining that he couldn't breathe well. My dad has been like that for a while, it just became a little worse. I guess that's why my family and I thought nothing of it. Soon after that, he began talking about serious back pain. My family tried to talk him into going to the doctor and he finally went. His doctor first told him (without doing an x-ray), that he had a minor back problem that would correct itself. After my dad couldn't take the pain any longer he asked to have a cat scan. That's when the doctor found a mass on his backbone. Blood tests were ran and cancerous cells were found. He was then sent to another hospital where his biopsy could be made. That's when it was for sure that my dad had cancer. The stuff on his lung, the mass on his back, and 14 lesions on his brain. The doctor said that he would live 8 to 12 more months and he could have radiation only for pallative reasons. My dad kept the truth from me becase he didn't want me to worry. He told me that he was going to undergo radiation and that after a certain amount of time was up they were going to give him another cat scan to see if the cancer had shrunk. Because my dad had the radiation on his brain, I think that's why he is so weak now. He tried to sit up but he complaines of being lightheaded......which I understand completely. After asking my mom a series of questions one morning she broke down and told me the truth. Right after that is when the radiation confined my dad to bed. I am trying to keep my spirits up for my dad but it is so hard at times. If it weren't for my children keeping my brain occupied most of the time I don't know what I would do. > Hello Madiba. Thank you for responding to my post. > My dad was diagnosed with Mesothelioma (Cancer from asbetos) back in the [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > If it weren't for my children keeping my brain occupied most of the time I > don't know what I would do. Mesothelioma is extremely difficult to eradicate by (normal) radiation, even more so in a delicate structure like the brain. Hopefuly he received just a short palliative course of treatment because unless those are all tiny mets in non-vital regions of the brain the situation looks grim. OTOH his back pain should respond well to the RT. BTW multiple brain mets from mesothelioma are rare.  Signaturemadiba My dad has 14 brain lesions from that form of cancer. |
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