In the eyes of the Liberal Media, cancer is a perfectly acceptable
alternative lifestyle. On TV shows, Americans from all socio-economic
groups are shown happily buying into the cancer chic -- including the
elderly and even young children. Members of the Cancer Generation are
shown as upright citizens, often enjoying vigorous walks in a manner
not dissimilar to Orwell's Junior Anti-Sex League. Chemotherapy users
are noted for their enthusiastic use festive head scarves, and not for
the sinister ramifications their choices have on the American Family.

The Leftist Media don't want the horrible truth about cancer to come
out. They've tried for decades to keep the downsides of the Cancer
Lifestyle from being revealed to the general public.

They have now failed.
   
Using standard analytic techniques, I have combed InterNet and the
available body of ethnographic literature to perform Statistical
Analysis on raw data. The secret truth is that the Cancer Lifestyle,
far from being a liberating journey away from the toil of family life,
is in reality a deviant subculture -- whose members are prone to a
shocking array of moral deviances, a variety of statistically
correllated practices which harm both Pro-Cancer zealots and members
of society in contact with them.