 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Prostate Cancer / February 2004Need Advice
My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. My husband is 55 healthy except for pc. His PSA is 3.1; Gleason is a 6 (3+3);T1C. He jogs 3 to 4 times a week and keeps himself in pretty good shape. He is a pretty private person, so other than his doctor I am the only one he is talking to. His fears are as follows: 1. He's afraid his friends will write him off as a tired old man, or that people will take pitey on him and think of his as a sickly old man. 2. He does not want his daughter (my stepdaughter) to know because he doesn't want his exwife to find out and call him with a dozen questions. 3. He has decided to have surgery (LRP) he is not worried about the bladder problems, but is terrified about sexual problems. I have tried to get him to at least read some of the things in this group, but can't. So I am doing all of the reading and talking to him about what I have found out. I love this man, and really want to help but there are just some questions I cannot answer. I need to know a good source that talks about orgasim without an erection, because if I can prove to him that we can still have a good sex life even without an erection, I think it would help as this is his biggest fear. Thanks Lillian Lillian, What better source than right here. What better people to talk to than right here. Because we have all been there, all of us thought, prior to PCa, that it was not possible to have an orgasm without an erection but we all now know it is possible and a very natural thing. You know at 55 years of age I even bet that erections will return. Just read the posts and ask questions, you and your husband will get the answers. Good luck AW > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Thanks > Lillian Lillian, Sorry that your hubby is a member of the club no-one wants to join. I was diagnosed just recently too and we all know what he is going through. I'm just 52 and I've heard of guys at 40 getting PCa, so he's not the youngest. I'd really try and get him to read the posts on this group, everyone here is fantastic, has experienced everything (good and bad) and I've seen nothing but help and support from these guys. And of course this has the advantage of being totally anonymous if that's what he prefers. I think if his friends desert him as a "tired old man", they can't be very good friends. However, friends that I've told have had different reactions, some don't want to know or talk about it (it could of course happen to them too), some just surprised, some curious, all pretty supportive though. Maybe he should give them a try. I guess his daughter will find out soon enough, better to find out from him in my opinion, but I can certainly understand his reluctance. There's some terrific info on various websites, particularly this one: http://www.phoenix5.org/menuprostate.html I'm sure others will post other references too. I wish you all the best in the coming months. Dave > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. > My husband is 55 healthy except for pc. His PSA is 3.1; Gleason is a > 6 (3+3);T1C. He jogs 3 to 4 times a week and keeps himself in pretty > good shape. Very sorry to welcome you and your husband to this club. Suffice it to say, if one has to have prostate cancer, he has all the right numbers for a cure. > He is a pretty private person, so other than his doctor I am the only > one he is talking to. His fears are as follows: More than likely, like most of us, he is in shock over his diagnosis and that is really why he doesn't want to talk to anyone about it. There is also that little thing about 'being a real man', gutting it up and taking it on by himself. That worked for me in 2000. When I had a recurrence in 2002, I found and joined this group. > 1. He's afraid his friends will write him off as a tired old man, or > that people will take pitey on him and think of his as a sickly old > man. Aint going to happen. With LRP, he'll be down and out for a few days, and he will feel like a tired old man for a couple of weeks. I have not taken off a sick day since my operation in 2000. Even when I went through 35 radiation treatments for recurrence, I did not take off. This is just not that debilitating. As a matter of fact, I still have not had my first symptom of prostate cancer. > 2. He does not want his daughter (my stepdaughter) to know because he > doesn't want his exwife to find out and call him with a dozen > questions. I don't know your husband well enough to call him selfish. > 3. He has decided to have surgery (LRP) he is not worried about the > bladder problems, but is terrified about sexual problems. I have [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > we can still have a good sex life even without an erection, I think it > would help as this is his biggest fear. 1. Tell him not to look back. He made his decision and he needs to look forward from here on out. He will find it is over before he knows it. 2. You are the key, in my humble opinion, to his sex life and his eventual sexual potentcy. Without going into graphic detail, there are some things that you can do that you may not have done before. Eventually, through diligence and exercise, his penis will begin to work to some extent. There are also oral and injected medecines that might make it work and there are pumps that will make it work. But, if you exercise it often, two years from now, you may not need any of that. I had an RRP with no nerve sparing and had a usable erection in 1 year, 5 months, and 5 days with virtually no help from my wife. I'd be glad to provide details, in private email, but you'd probably rather discuss those with some of the women here (Bev, Heather, Linda, Sandi).  SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 Lillian, You've already got some good replies to your questions already. I'll just reinforce that his partner (you) is the best medicine toward a healthy & wonderful sex life. Communication between both of you most important. Experiment with different ways that work for both of you. I've enjoyed the best love making of my life *after* my prostatectomy because my partner has been so wonderful. & this is without any aides whatsoever. Just me, limp willy & the love of my life. Johnie > Lillian, > > You've already got some good replies to your questions already. I'll just reinforce that his partner (you) is the best medicine toward a healthy & wonderful sex life. Communication between both of you most important. Experiment with different ways that work for both of you. I've enjoyed the best love making of my life *after* my prostatectomy because my partner has been so wonderful. & this is without any aides whatsoever. Just me, limp willy & the love of my life. > Johnie Thanks everyone for all of your support. I hope to get my husband on here soon, I am printing out everyones responses for him and I think once he sees how helpful talking to others with the same issues can be, he will start writing himself. > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > that people will take pitey on him and think of his as a sickly old > man. All these things are addressed in Dr. Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer. Probably the best $25 I ever spent. On point 1, remember that the frontrunner in the Democratic race had an RRP (or LRP, I don't know which) last year, and nobody wrote him off, or even talks about it any more. And the man I would like to see as president, Colin Powell, had an RRP within the last 60 days. And as for little old me, I found that people just want to know you're all right. > 2. He does not want his daughter (my stepdaughter) to know because he > doesn't want his exwife to find out and call him with a dozen > questions. ?? I'm no lawyer, but this is none of her business, is it? > 3. He has decided to have surgery (LRP) he is not worried about the > bladder problems, but is terrified about sexual problems. I have > tried to get him to at least read some of the things in this group, > but can't. So I am doing all of the reading and talking to him about > what I have found out. Considering his age and diagnositic numbers, the chances of permanent sexual problems are very small. See Dr. Walsh's book or just about any other source which quotes statistical studies. Stay with us. jimhoney > I love this man, and really want to help but there are just some > questions I cannot answer. I need to know a good source that talks [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Thanks > Lillian Lilian, Fears are as real as we make them. It is interesting that his fears are based on relations and not combatting the cancer. I hope that means he has a postive outlook on that element. I was 45 when diagnosed. He may be surprised to find his friends rally around him to provide support. We had a group that provided meals for our family for over two weeks. I think that if he takes a strong, positive outlook on life and does not resort to a person that is appears to be seeking pity, he will be fine. If he doesn't change it is unlikely that his friends will view him differently. Cancer can/will eilicit change. His life will change. He will have to potentially deal with some major issues - incontinence, ED. Your support will help. Patience is key - just a this cancer is a slow growing cancer, the body's recovery from the surgery can be slow. He sounds in good physical shape - that will help his recovery form the surgery, as will the fact he is going the LRP route. The ED issue may take time. As you read posts on here, some have no problems, some are still dealing. Myself - two years post RRP with no nerves spared (nerve graft though) i am having encouraging signs. Plus there are methods (physcial/chemical) to help adddress that issue. His situation may be more favorable if they are performing nerve sparing surgery. The phoenix 5 website (http://www.phoenix5.org/menumain.html) provides some frank discussions on sexuaity and intimacy for PCa folks. On the former wife/daughter issue. I don't know the age, but i belive communications is important and his daughter should know. On the ex-wife situation, i feel she should be advised, but i don't know all the particulars (and would prefer not to know!!) Good luck to both of you. Based on your posting and seeking help - it sounds like he has a strong partner who will be going into the battle with him. Be strong and enjoy life, even with its trials. Regards.....Bill -------------------------- > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Thanks > Lillian > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > that people will take pitey on him and think of his as a sickly old > man. One is six men get prostate cancer at some point in life. Many of the people here consider themselves vigorous for men at any age. So these fears are unfounded. He is suffering depression as a result of the cancer diagnosis, which is completely understandable. All of us went through the same thing. The important thing is to recognize depression for what it is and try to fight the feelings which follow. > 2. He does not want his daughter (my stepdaughter) to know because he > doesn't want his exwife to find out and call him with a dozen > questions. He should tell his daughter but refuse to talk to his ex-wife about it if he feels he doesn't want to. > 3. He has decided to have surgery (LRP) he is not worried about the > bladder problems, but is terrified about sexual problems. I have > tried to get him to at least read some of the things in this group, > but can't. So I am doing all of the reading and talking to him about > what I have found out. The first thing he should realize is that even if he ends up permanently impotent, that doesn't mean the end of your sexual life. There are ways to deal with impotence. Many men use injections satisfactorily. I used a pump for 18 months following surgery, and we had sex with about the same frequency as before the surgery. Secondly, if his surgeon is skilled at nerve sparing surgery, he stands an excellent chance of recovering erections. In most cases it takes from three months to a year, but in some cases, it can take two years or more. (That is what happened to me. I can manage with no help whatsoever, but I do a bit better with a small amount of Viagra.) > I love this man, and really want to help but there are just some > questions I cannot answer. I need to know a good source that talks > about orgasim without an erection, because if I can prove to him that > we can still have a good sex life even without an erection, I think it > would help as this is his biggest fear. Actually he can have both the orgasm and the erection. Orgasm happens in the brain and while it may not be exactly the same, it will still be well worth the effort. Either the erection will come about normally because nerve sparing surgery succeeded or it can be induced by appropriate measures. > Thanks > Lillian > My husband was just diagnosed. ... > He is a pretty private person, so other than his doctor I am the only > one he is talking to. ... When I was diagnosed it was a tremendous pyschological blow. I wanted to curl up in a hole and disappear from the world. However I went back to work the next day and, feeling that it would be a great psychological burden to conceal this life altering fact from all the people I saw every day, I went ahead and told everyone. I'm really glad I did. Instead of having a deep dark secret, I was able to be the person I always was. Nobody shrank from me. Nobody treated me like I was a dead man. What they did was key their feelings to mine. When I talked openly about it, they did so too. When I made jokes about it (I read, for example, Curtis Palmer's wonderful poem "Ode to Willy") they lightened up too and were able to connect with me as one human being to another. Everyone has been sympathetic. I found that I had more friends than I imagined, and more people cared about me than I realized. I recommend to your husband that he be completely open and above board. People will watch his own reactions to his plight and take their cue from him. If he reaches out to them, they'll reach back. At any rate, that's what my experience has been. Alan Lillian, We were where you are right now sometime last May. My husband is 42, had a psa of 6.6, was a T1c and was in great shape. He had an RRP June 23. The cath came out after 2 weeks and he was completely dry. He only leaks when he's had too much to drink, although he can't hold it as long as he used to, kind of like me after two babies. He actually had an erection on the operating table and had a usable one at day sixteen. He was back biking within 6-8 weeks and has been skiing almost every day this winter. He tells me his orgasms are different but still good. Even if he hadn't got erections back we were planning all sorts of different ways to have a healthy sex life. I just wanted him alive. My hubby had the same reaction as to keeping it private. It didn't last long. I needed to talk and our friends wanted to know what was going in woth us. We had only just moved to a new town a few months before his diagnosis and he didn't want everyone to just see him as "the young guy with the old man cancer." In the end, everyone knows and we had great support. Nobody looks at him as a washed-up guy. I would recommend telling your step-daughter. Having his ex call him is minor compared to cancer. Our kids, who will be 5 and 8 in a few weeks, were told about the cancer at a level that they could understand. We considered keeping it from them but it was obviously the only thing we could think about for months. So far we've had undetectable psas and the cancer seem more like a bad memory, but one that has made us embrace life and each other more. I wish the same for you. If you want to email me privately or have any other questions feel free to do so. And buy Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving PRostate Cancer. SignatureRebecca Ford > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Thanks > Lillian >Subject: Need Advice >From: lpagano@yahoo.com (Lillian) [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] >Thanks >Lillian I am still totally impotent going on 3 years since RRP, but I enjoy orgasms regularly. I have been smiling for forty years, and still do. With a PSA of 3.1 and Gleason of 6, it is likely that your husband will never experience any symptoms of PCa and will die in 25 years or so of heart attack or stroke or some other "normal" cause. Don't worry. Of course, GET TREATMENT for the PCa. Hi Lillian, Just ask away and you can email me privately if you don't want to ask this mostly male group. (Although I must say these guys are good - besides they can't see us blush. LOL) One thing that he does need to do is tell his daughter because her chances of having breast cancer or other "female" cancers just sky rocketed as this is a hormone driven cancer and the hormone driven cancer runs in families. Now, when he tells her is up to him but she does need to know. (Also it would be smart to inform brothers and sons, obviously!) My husband was 55 when he had his treatment for PC. He had external beam radiation followed by brachytherapy. I promise he's not an old man. No one has ever treated him as such and he's had a few sympathy type responses from people when they found out but not much. In fact, often, I think people just accept this as if it were just some minor little boo-boo. To the point that I want to scream "This is CANCER , it's serious!!!! What part of cancer do you not understand????" So you just might find the reaction is quite the opposite of what you might expect. Actually your husband is right on the fence of what I joking refer to as the fence between being way too young for this type of cancer which tends to be very aggressive and dangerous in younger men and being an old fart with slow growing cancer that might never be a problem. Seems there's a bunch of men about age 55 who are being treated for PC thanks to early detection. Explain to him that the greatest sexual organ is not between the legs but rather between the ears. If the head between the ears is in the right place he will find any temporary problems surmountable. Just being willing on your part will help. I think that has been one of the biggest problems for many of the guys is their lack of a willing partner. If their partner thinks sex is just missionary position intercourse then they are going to have a difficult road to travel. (And no guys, I'm not saying any more.) There is a great website that will give you some of the best information you will find anyplace. http://www.phoenix5.org Bev > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Thanks > Lillian > Hi Lillian, > Just ask away and you can email me privately if you don't want to ask this [quoted text clipped - 63 lines] > > Thanks > > Lillian Hi Lillian...... There are a few of us on here whose husbands don't ask the questions......we do, grin. Mine doesn't know how to turn a computer on.....let alone type. But I just have a couple of things to say to you....... Btw, my husband is a young 71 and had way higher numbers than yours does. But the age factor comes into play. He had HDR (high dose radiation) followed by 25 regular radiation treatments last August and Sept.......he is doing just fine!! In fact, tomorrow we go for his 6 months checkup. But won't get the PSA number until next week. And no, we are not the least bit worried......worry won't change the numbers, period!! Anyway.....we have one daughter, age 40, who lives on the West Coast and we didn't want her to know and be terribly upset when we didn't know much ourselves. But once I told her, a tremendous burden was lifted off my shoulders!!! Of course she was upset......but she is a trooper. Flew home for 10 days just to be with him and came to our first meeting with the radiation oncologist. Ron seemed to tell certain people (he too is extremely private), but he had no problems doing so. Me.....I told those that I knew would be supportive and they were there for me all throughout!! As was this group of guys!! I was just devastated for quite a while......so I know how you feel. But these guys helped tremendously. (and gals) I only told one person who backed away.....he was terrified and didn't know what to say to Ron. I think I had to give him more of a 'talking to' than my husband, grin. He just plain didn't know how to deal with it. He is fine now and drops in to chat about all sorts of stuff. So don't worry about telling his friends. What amazed me at our age was just how many men had (or have) prostate cancer. My sister's husband had it at the same time (age 65). Frankly, most of them worried more about incontinence than sexual performance. And I find that more men up here in Canada seem to go for radiation.....given the choice. So tell him to break it to his daughter gently.....do not leave her out in the cold. He will know when the time is right. We waited about 2 months until we had all the bone & CT scans and stuff. Frankly, in many ways, I wish I had told her sooner......we have a fantastic relationship and I really hated not being able to talk to her about it. I am here for you too if you want to talk.....but Bev and the others are closer to your age and problems. We are the 'old fogies'......grin. I am 65 btw. So quite frankly, sex is not high on our list. I think I have had my quota for this lifetime.....lol. Life is far more important to us. And quality of life. All the best......Heather (and Ron) > > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > Thanks > > Lillian Posted and emailed...... Bev.....I was blown away by the paragraph below. We have breast cancer in the family (my mother) and I didn't know that our daughter had an increased risk of it because of Ron's Pca. Are there articles on this? Elayne, myself and my sister have all had benign breast lumps, so this makes it rather double-barrelled for her. Best.....Heather > One thing that he does need to do is tell his daughter because her chances > of having breast cancer or other "female" cancers just sky rocketed as this > is a hormone driven cancer and the hormone driven cancer runs in families. > Now, when he tells her is up to him but she does need to know. (Also it > would be smart to inform brothers and sons, obviously!) Off the top of my head I'd say check the phoenix website - I think Robert had something out there on it. But yes, her odds just rose significantly. Really sucks doesn't it! Bev > Posted and emailed...... > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > it > > would be smart to inform brothers and sons, obviously!) > One thing that he does need to do is tell his daughter because her chances > of having breast cancer or other "female" cancers just sky rocketed as this > is a hormone driven cancer and the hormone driven cancer runs in families. > Now, when he tells her is up to him but she does need to know. (Also it > would be smart to inform brothers and sons, obviously!) Seems to be the reverse? http://www.phoenix5.org/stories/firstpers/pershawke.html PCa is hereditary as well as being a high-risk cancer for those who have family members with other forms of cancer, especially breast cancer.[] Or if someone finds a full explanation, would appreciate it (for other newsgroups and friends and family). Thank you J > > One thing that he does need to do is tell his daughter because her chances > > of having breast cancer or other "female" cancers just sky rocketed as this [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > Thank you > J I have never heard this theory before, nor have I ever heard the term "hormone driven cancer." No mention of a connection between prostate and breast cancer in Dr. Walsh's book. (Family history risk factor is just male relatives who have also developed PCa.; see pp. 40-41.) The quotation from the Phoenix5 site is from an essay by a geologist, with no source given. I put the quote into Google to see if I could find the source, but it only points back to the geologist on Phoenix5. Also, I don't see prostate cancer in a relative as one of the risk factors for breast cancer on this rather detailed list: http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/ucdhs/health/a-z/06BreastCancer/doc06risks.html jimhoney not a doctor, just a veteran of PCa Ok, now you guys have just added to my to do list. Now I have to find the connection between PC and other hormone driven cancers. Bev > > > One thing that he does need to do is tell his daughter because her > chances [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > Also, I don't see prostate cancer in a relative as one of the risk factors > for breast cancer on this rather detailed list: http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/ucdhs/health/a-z/06BreastCancer/doc06risks.html > jimhoney > not a doctor, just a veteran of PCa > Ok, now you guys have just added to my to do list. Now I have to find the > connection between PC and other hormone driven cancers. > Bev That reminds me. Some folks at the medical school where I got my surgery have been dunning me to provide family information for a study that, as I understand it, is looking at the genetic links between prostate and breast cancer. JohnG > Ok, now you guys have just added to my to do list. Now I have to find the > connection between PC and other hormone driven cancers. > Bev http://www.nci.nih.gov/cancerinfo/pdq/genetics/breast-and-ovarian #Section_6 Major Genes Introduction Epidemiologic studies have clearly established the role of family history as an important risk factor for both breast and ovarian cancer. After gender and age, a positive family history is the strongest known predictive risk factor for breast cancer. In most cases an extensive family history (greater than 4 relatives in the same biologic line affected) is not present. In some families, however, inherited factors are clearly the major component of an individuals cancer risk. We now know that some of these cancer families can be explained by specific mutations in single cancer susceptibility genes. The recent isolation of several of these genes associated with a significantly increased risk of breast/ovarian cancer make it possible to identify families who carry mutations in these genes. Mutation carriers who have a risk of developing breast cancer that may exceed 50%, comprise no more than 5% to 10% of all breast cancer cases. Hereditary breast cancer is characterized by early age at onset (on average 5-15 years earlier than sporadic cases) bilaterality, vertical transmission through both maternal and paternal lines, and familial association with tumors of other organs, particularly the ovary and prostate gland.[1-3] The clinical evidence of an autosomal dominant inherited predisposition to breast cancer has been supported by segregation analysis, a statistical genetics method to determine if a particular trait follows a Mendelian pattern of inheritance. (For more information on criteria of autosomal dominant inheritance, refer to the Introduction section of this summary.) A 1988 study reported the first quantitative evidence that breast cancer segregated as an autosomal dominant trait in some families.[4] When segregation analysis was applied to the Cancer and Steroid Hormone (CASH) data set, goodness-of-fit tests of genetic models provided additional evidence for the existence of a rare autosomal dominant allele associated with increased susceptibility to breast cancer.[5] The search for genes associated with hereditary susceptibility to breast cancer has been facilitated by the study of large kindreds with multiple affected individuals, and has led to the identification of several susceptibility genes, including BRCA1, BRCA2, TP53, and PTEN/MMAC1. The last I heard from a scientist researching prostate cancer is "there seems to be a link". Much the same as she said "there seems to be a link" between red meat and prostate cancer. They just don't know for sure. SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > > > > One thing that he does need to do is tell his daughter because her [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > Also, I don't see prostate cancer in a relative as one of the risk factors > for breast cancer on this rather detailed list: http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/ucdhs/health/a-z/06BreastCancer/doc06risks.html > jimhoney > not a doctor, just a veteran of PCa Lillian: Your husband is in that place that I've been since my diagnosis. I may be true of all diseases, but it's definitely true of cancer. We feel different, inferior, damaged and diseased and tend to ostracize ourselves, and we expect others to treat us that way. A few may treat us differently than before, must most will respond compassionately. Point out to him that his new role is to help men he cares about become aware of the necessity for frequent PSA tests and DRE's. Most men know about prostate cancer, of course, and most are able to live in denial until one of us gets in their faces and forces them to talk about the reality. Most of us here have forced friends to find out what their last PSA was, I suspect. Stay in touch and encourage your husband to check in here --- he'll be glad he did. Larry > My husband was just diagnosed. I could probably write a 10 page email > on what I need advice with, but I will try to keep it simple. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Thanks > Lillian Thanks again to everyone for all of the great responses! Yesterday I printed out a couple of responses from people who sent directly to my email and give them to my husband (Phil) to read on the train on the way to work. Last night he asked to sit with me and read online. I think he was suprised to see that so many people have "been there done that". You may even see him on here in the next couple of weeks! That's great, Lillan! Reading about it and seeing others who are going through it and still very much alive years later has got to be a significant step towards acceptance and educated decisions. SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > Thanks again to everyone for all of the great responses! Yesterday I > printed out a couple of responses from people who sent directly to my > email and give them to my husband (Phil) to read on the train on the > way to work. Last night he asked to sit with me and read online. I > think he was suprised to see that so many people have "been there done > that". You may even see him on here in the next couple of weeks! This is Lillian's husband Phil. I would like to thank all of you who wrote her. I am a bit overwhelmed at this kindness from people I have never even met. When I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer, it appeared I had two options. I could ignore it and have a small numbers of good years left. Or I could have the surgery and continue my life as less than a full man. Neither option was very attractive to me. Your responses helped me get a perspective on this and focus on the reality that there is much more to being a man than erections and such. It is more important to me to be a good husband and a good father and the be the kind of person who is caring and supportive to others. Like you all are... I am having surgery on mid-March. I know I will have depression and anxiety. But I am blessed with having a wonderful wife and family, and many great friends and co-workers. Thank you for helping me get through the first week of this. You helped me much more than you can know, not from your information but from the courage and kindness you showed. Wishing you all good health and tremendous erections :-) Phil Hey! Glad to see you here Phil (not that we do not welcome Lillian). The first week is the hardest, but your numbers hold promise of a complete cure. And, that lack of manhood stuff? Take it from me, you think the worst, then you find it's a bunch of rubbish. Sex is in the mind and most couples find that sex after an RPP is much more satisfying. SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > This is Lillian's husband Phil. > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Phil Phil, (And that is a GREAT name IMHO) It is good to hear from you. I joined this group just recently myself. I had a LOT of fear about the cancer, operation, and all the peripheral stuff involved. I opted for the Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy as I am 57 and think I have a lot of good years left in me. The operation was performed Jan 22nd and I spent 3 days in the hospital, checking out on the 4th day. I have found the folks here informative, well-read and have even talked to one such member by phone as he lives in my area (Meridian, Idaho - near Boise). And I suggest the same for you. Read up, educate yourself and hang in there! I just had my catheter taken out yesterday and have been steadily "leaking" since. Depends seem to do a wonderful job and allowed me a full night's sleep without wetting the bed and without worry. The pathology came back just wonderful and I hope I remain cancer-free for the rest of my life but I do say a goodly number of prayers to God...I think I need His devine intervention. Best of luck and keep in touch here. Philski (Phil Lewis) > This is Lillian's husband Phil. > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Phil > This is Lillian's husband Phil. > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Wishing you all good health and tremendous erections :-) I'm glad you are feeling better. But let me reiterate that you can have a satisfying sex life even if you can't have unaided erections. In addition, in your case, you stand a very good chance of recovering normal erections. > Phil > This is Lillian's husband Phil. > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Wishing you all good health and tremendous erections :-) Hi, Phil..... The first week was really tough for me, too.... and this newsgroup, and other lists, proved to be great comfort - as well as a great source for information. Continue to read all you can about the surgery and the recovery. Keep positive! Your numbers sound very good for a complete recovery! Take care! MikeH > This is Lillian's husband Phil. > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Phil Phil, In the kindest way, I must point out that you do not have the correct perspective at all. I repeat your numbers: PSA 3.1; Gleason 6 (3+3); T1C; age 55. This means that you have the best prospects for a full recovery of anyone I recall ever posting on this newsgroup, to include me. Don't take my word for it, I'm not a doctor. Check the Partin Tables. http://urology.jhu.edu/Partin_tables/ The probability that your cancer is contained entirely within the prostate gland is 84%! The probability the cancer has reached your lymph nodes is, well, whatever statisticians call zero. And unless you have some sort of sexual dysfunction already, your chances of lasting post-op problems in that area are only something like 5%. And I would have to really dig to find some case of lasting incontinence in a T1C case at age 55. Read Dr. Walsh's book. Plan on resuming your jogging in mid-April, and expect to feel all better by summer. jimhoney not a Pollyanna standard RRP age 52, cured, no significant aftereffects > This is Lillian's husband Phil. > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Phil Phil, In the kindest way, I must point out that you do not have the correct perspective at all. I repeat your numbers: PSA 3.1; Gleason 6 (3+3); T1C; age 55. This means that you have the best prospects for a full recovery of anyone I recall ever posting on this newsgroup, to include me. Don't take my word for it, I'm not a doctor. Check the Partin Tables. http://urology.jhu.edu/Partin_tables/ The probability that your cancer is contained entirely within the prostate gland is 84%! The probability the cancer has reached your lymph nodes is, well, whatever statisticians call zero. And unless you have some sort of sexual dysfunction already, your chances of lasting post-op problems in that area are only something like 5%. And I would have to really dig to find some case of lasting incontinence in a T1C case at age 55. Read Dr. Walsh's book. Plan on resuming your jogging in mid-April, and expect to feel all better by summer. jimhoney not a Pollyanna standard RRP age 52, cured, no significant aftereffects > This is Lillian's husband Phil. Good to meet you Phil, but sorry it had to be here. Your visit was an answer to prayer --- stay in touch and thank your wife for convincing you to check in. Larry |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2008 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.