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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Prostate Cancer / March 2004"Dry" orgasms
I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., but not much about dry orgasms. I'm approaching a year post IMRT treatment, and the good news is I'm totally continent and can achieve a decent erection. The bad news is that the "dry" (meaning whatever that paltry clear fluid is that comes out is) orgasm I get lasts about a nanosecond and feels about as good as a sneeze. Check that - I've had plenty of sneezes that were much more satisfying. More like scratching an itch. Definitely NOT bells and whistles I mentioned previously that I sometimes smoke pot to boost the libido, and that does act as a true aphrodisiac and helps make sex pleasurable. Otherwise, the only satisfaction I get is the vicarious thrill of pleasing my wife. Maybe it's payback for mis-spent youth when I got my rocks off and fell asleep leaving a frustrated partner awake. So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? Sorry, Doug, I can only say more intense after seeds and IMRT..... Mike > I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., > but not much about dry orgasms. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? Doug...if the radiation destroys all the glandular tissue (cells) in the prostate gland, it destroys the ablity to produce ejaculate...it would make sense ten that if you have ejaculate then you have glandular cells remaining...if you have glandular cells remaining they MAY carry the same prostate cancer or could have new prostate cancer at some time...radiation oncologist will tell you that the small amounts of ejaculate produced after treatment might change slightly into a clearer stream and reduce but they don't expect any to be present at all....we must be thankful for not having the incontinence problem as well as being able to have an erecton at all. Keith Lundy/So. California 40 Proton Beam Radiation Treatments Loma Linda Univ.Med Ctr..3/03-5/03 > Doug...if the radiation destroys all the glandular tissue (cells) in the > prostate gland, it destroys the ablity to produce ejaculate...it would [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > 40 Proton Beam Radiation Treatments > Loma Linda Univ.Med Ctr..3/03-5/03 This is interesting because when I had my one month followup yesterday, I got a slightly different story from my oncolonogist. I have a pretty good amount of ejaculate (clear). I assumed this would gradually decrease over time to nothing, but he said (or at least I think he said) that at this point, it would not get much worse. I thought the seeds would destroy the entire prostate, but he said the goal was to destroy the cancer and leave as much healthy prostate as possible. Did I misunderstand him? I was a little surprised by this, but thankful as long as it works in destroying the cancer! I had large amounts of ejaculate when I was where you are last May....I have noticed a radical decrease to a dribble since then... Keith Lundy/So. California 40 Proton Beam Radiation Treatments Loma Linda Univ.Med Ctr..3/03-5/03 > I had large amounts of ejaculate when I was where you are last May....I > have noticed a radical decrease to a dribble since then... This is my experience as well, and it is this dribble that I have the problem with. As the ejaculate continues to decrease, the orgasm becomes increasingly quicker and decreasingly intense because (at least this is how it feels to me) there is not much stuff to pump. But I suppose we are all different and experience everything uniquely and subjectively; otherwise there wouldn't be 10 responses to the original post all over the map. Anyhow, I'm continent and can get an erection much as before, so for that I'm thankful. Well, Doug.... at least you can get a decent erection. That's more than some of us can do. I can reach an orgasm without the erection... but, as you say, it's not what it was before. It's nice... but it takes so much work to get there.... sometimes I just wonder why I bothered. Blah, indeed! MikeH <who misses the feeling of an erection> > I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., > but not much about dry orgasms. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? All orgasms are dry after RRP. I just assumed they were dry after radiation too. I've never had nanosecond orgasms before or after RRP.  SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., > but not much about dry orgasms. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? > I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., > but not much about dry orgasms. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? I don't think the decrease in intensity of the orgasm is a function of whether it is wet or dry. As we are always reminded, orgasm takes place in the brain. Undoubtedly, changes in the local area and the way your mind/body reacts to them will have an effect. Also, anxiety about how things will work out may have an effect. Some experimentation about how you go about it may help, or just the passage of time may make a difference. > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? It's definitely not the same, but not "blah" for me. I'm not complaining, since I'm only a month post-op, and consider myself lucky to have anything at all. What I think is missing is the intense pre-ejaculation "ache" of what I always assumed was the gland producing the fluid, something like the way salivary glands feel when you're really hungry and eat something. While we're on the R-rated side of the forum, I've been interested how much I'm noticing that the mental part of arousal is really important. I'm much more likely to get an erection doing foreplay stuff with the wife than by physical manipulation, which barely works at all. SignatureWake PSA 3.8, 11/2003 @58yrs Biopsy positive 5% in 1 of 10 cores T1c Gleason 3+3 RRP 1/12/04 Pathology agreed with biopsy + Negative margins Erection 1/30/04 At first my experience was exactly the same as yours. Don't blink or you will miss it. After a few weeks/months the intensity did get better, but it is definitely not the same as before (no erections by the way). Also, at least in my case, it literally takes over an hour of stimulation to produce an orgasm. Also, it is my experience that the pleasurable feeling in the penis is not anywhere near what it was before the surgery. When I had my annual physical with my internist a couple weeks ago he told me that this was not normal and that I needed to see the urologist again. If work ever calms down some I will do that, but I am not sure what he can do about it? Good luck to you. Thank you. David S. > I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., > but not much about dry orgasms. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? Hello all - I opted for cyro surgery, which in the surgeons words were, "I turned that sucker into a ball of ice, so there are no nerves left. Evidently he did a good job of it, because nothing works for me other than the pump and I've tried everything except muse. Now on the positive side: For the first few months there was not much to be said for the orgasms. This quite rapidly changed until I'm back to normal. Don't try to analyze the situation to much, that could only add to the problem. Bob Austin Age 74 PSA 7 Free PSA 12 1st round of biopsies clear, 2nd. 2 positives Gleason 9 Cryosurgery 03/11/03 Post Op PSA's .04 & .01 RobertBob.Austin@NoSpam.Att.Net You're trying too hard. Just relax. And maybe don't use anything (alcohol/pot) because sometimes things like that can actually backfire and cause you to not have the same sensations. I'm going to say it's not like being 25 again. It's going to be different. We've had lots of blah experiences but there have also been so very good ones. Talk to your partner and explain what you are feeling or rather not feeling. I think a willing partner makes a big difference. Just try to not think about it so much and just enjoy the sensation. Don't worry about feeling an orgasm. If it happens - great, if it doesn't then try again later. Bev > I've read many posts in this n.g. about incontinence, E.D., viagra, etc., > but not much about dry orgasms. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > So, anybody else have blah experiences with dry orgasms? ok it has been 6 monthes and viagra gives me a little nonstuffable orgasm.Since I am testing"undectable"and continent I am trying to be patient as it can take another 2 years.And feel lucky,also uros can do alot.I also still have soreness where the urethra was slit for catheter and discovered I had arthriitis emphasyma and GERD.Ahhh well patience this recovery thing is 3 yards and a cloud of dust. patience after being patients is tough.. but i've read a few posts of success after 2+ years and used that to foster hope. i had a seral nerve graft - no nerves spared. for 2 years nothing (except with caverject), now levistra and viagra are resulting in (in the words of one of the previous posters) a "stuffable" product. and orgasms are different post RRP, and not just the dry element. Bill Penn, born April 56 Sept 2001: No symptoms, unit functions working well. Fitness - running / biking 6 days a week. 5'10.5", 170 lbs Trail marathon 15 months earlier. 09/01 Routine Physical - PSA 8.0, DRE negative 10/01 Follow-up - PSA 9.2, f PSA - 6%, DRE negative 11/01 DRE positive, TURP, seven cores, 11/13/01 Diagnosed, T2c, Gleason 8 (4+4), RP recommended 12/01 Second Opinion (uro), DRE postive, confirmed diagnosis, treatmetn alternatives 12/01 Third opinion (radiation oncologist), DRE postive, confirmed diagnosis, recommended RP 01/14/2002 RRP & seral nerve transplant (by second opinion urologist), lymph nodes & margins negative, Gleason 7 (4+3) Post-RRP PSA - 03/02 - ND (<0.1) 09/02 - ND (<0.1), 04/03 - ND (<0.1) 09/03 - 0.03 03/04 - TBD.... > ok it has been 6 monthes and viagra gives me a little nonstuffable orgasm.Since > I am testing"undectable"and continent I am trying to be patient as it can take > another 2 years.And feel lucky,also uros can do alot.I also still have soreness > where the urethra was slit for catheter and discovered I had arthriitis > emphasyma and GERD.Ahhh well patience this recovery thing is 3 yards and a > cloud of dust. hi folks - i was going to address this when i got back from the cruise and the wife went to the hospital, so i didn't get the chance. i had a very intense talk with my surgeon about this very subject and what everyone is describing is along the same lines as to what we are facing as a group - regardless of the type of treatment. i, too, echo the same feelings as everyone else. definitely not the same. so, with that said, i put the surgeon on the block for some answers. here is what he told me. he stated that they do not know where the nerves are in that part of the body - plain and simple. now, they do know where the erections nerves are, but there are a lot of micro nerves and those, the surgeon can not see. he just cuts the cancer out and remove the micro nerves that in that cancer site. he stated that could be one reason why one person may feel something different than another person and well as the change of intensity. he went on to explain that yes, the orgasm is in the brain, but in the male's body, the prostate is the orgasm center. the best way i can explain what he said and tie it together is if you look at the diagrams in dr. walsh's book on the subject of how the RP is done, they show drawings of the erectile nerves but also show nerve bundles going into the prostate as well. the drawing shows these nerve bundles are cut, but doesn't say what they are or where they go to. the surgeon told me that the prostate provides a feedback loop for the male. that one can feel the buildup of fluid and the contractions through the prostate which in turn the nerves carry the feelings back to the brain. all that is gone now and what we have left is some feedback nerves in the pelvis and that depends on what was done and mood of the brain at the time. that may explain why one doesn't get those earth shaking, drop to your knees type orgasms. he was the only one so far, that took about 10 minutes, to explain the process and how it all ties together. we hadn't had the subject pop up on the newsgroup that was this direct that i could just say what i did without it sounding like i was in a classroom teaching. i hope that made sense. i certainly don't want to come off as a know it all, because i don't, but i do ask questions - a lot of questions, until i get the answer. for what it's worth - i did ask two other doctors the same question and got a canned response. how has your doctors address this subject? that would be interesting to hear because they should be interested in the treatment of the whole person, not just the cancer. i'm sure there is more to this subject that what has been said. ~ curtis knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional but what if they didn't have an RP and it still seems "dry"? Lori > hi folks - i was going to address this when i got back from the cruise > and the wife went to the hospital, so i didn't get the chance. [quoted text clipped - 54 lines] > > knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional hi lori - regardless which type of treatment we chose - RP, radiation, or freezing. the purpose of the treatment is to destroy the cancer cells. and each of these treatments is going to do that job in order to be called a success. the catch is - in order to destroy the cancer cell, you have to destroy the prostate cell because the cancer cells are intermingled with prostate itself. bottom line - if the prostate cell is damaged or destroyed in the process of treatment, then it will not be producing the prostate fluid that it did if at all. and also the nerves that were in the area of the prostate are damaged or gone too. what the medical group is doing is trying to save the erectile nerves outside the prostate. the nerves inside the prostate are toast and whatever feeling one may have had will be altered as the nerves die off or removed. hope this explanation helps. ~ curtis knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional > i had a very intense talk with my surgeon about this very subject and > what everyone is describing is along the same lines as to what we are > facing as a group - regardless of the type of treatment. > > i, too, echo the same feelings as everyone else. definitely not the > same. I don't agree that you should say, literally, "everyone else." I do agree that there are some aspects of all this that are not well explained to most of us ahead of time. I don't know if it's good or bad that we don't know what we're in for. JohnG hi john - i agree with you on the 'everyone' term. i should have changed it to most people or something that doesn't compass all. i was just agreeing with the concept of what everyone had experience and wanted to share what i had found out. i have often wondered, including myself, that if i had known what i know now about what damage was all going to be done, i wonder what treatment i would have opted for, if any. ???? the surgeon was right - the day he told me i had prostate cancer. that my life would never be the same and it hasn't. ~ curtis knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional > the surgeon was right - the day he told me i had prostate cancer. that > my life would never be the same and it hasn't. Amen. And this would apply to "everyone" I'm sure. Thankyou, thankyou for this explanation ! Like many others, I'm sure, I have experienced exactly the same thing. It used to be truly earth shattering for me and I loved it dearly. Yes I have erections now and reasonably good ones but the orgasms themselves might be 30% of what they were before. Sure I'm grateful for this but I knew there was much more to this than nerve sparing and everything should feel the same. At decision time all I could think of was quick action and saving my life. Would do the same thing again I'm sure. > Thankyou, thankyou for this explanation ! > Like many others, I'm sure, I have experienced exactly the same thing. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > life. > Would do the same thing again I'm sure. Sometimes I truly wonder what I would do if faced with the exact same situation again..... and knew what I know now. I guess it's good we can't see into the future. MikeH I guess it depends on the rest of what you have in life. Trading sex for life is sometimes a difficult thing to ponder. Trading life for death? Well, I just have a little more that I wanna do. SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > > > Thankyou, thankyou for this explanation ! [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > MikeH >Sometimes I truly wonder what I would do if faced with the exact same >situation again..... and knew what I know now. I guess it's good we can't >see into the future. As they say, "hindsight is always 20-20." But when I hear of PCa patients in their 40's with bone mets, I have no problem living with and accepting less intense sexual orgasms and an otherwise healthy body. It's all a matter of degree and perspective. --dt > >Sometimes I truly wonder what I would do if faced with the exact same > >situation again..... and knew what I know now. I guess it's good we can't [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and accepting less intense sexual orgasms and an otherwise healthy > body. It's all a matter of degree and perspective. I have the utmost respect and sympathy for those facing advanced PCa and all its horrible consequences. I don't ever want to come across as downplaying other peoples' problems and struggles. Whatever we are faced with, we can always look around and find someone else suffering a worse fate. But that doesn't diminish the struggle that each of us has to deal with in his own life, nor his right to feel pain and loss. You are fortunate that you can still experience less intense sexual orgasms. I struggle with the depression at times... and perhaps I whine too much. But I have no other group to talk to that will understand what I'm feeling like you guys will be able to. I wish I had a real-life support group in my area, but I don't. There is an USToo group in a nearby city, but it was not a particularly uplifting experience the times I tried it. I'm really sorry that I come off so negatively at times. I want to be upbeat and encouraging to others. I value life. I want to be alive. But I'm just having a hard time dealing with the loss of my sexuality. I'm sure others here can identify... but you all seem to be able to get a handle on it somehow... and move on. I haven't gotten to that point all the time yet... Perhaps that's just a weakness on my part. I'd like to be a stronger person. When I get very low.... and feel the loss more intensely... it is easy for my mind to slip into that place where I begin to think I might have preferred to have retained my sexual function for a few more years rather than living longer with such an incredible loss. :-( And I don't think for a minute that I'm the only man to have gone through this and to have had those occasional thoughts. I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being so down. My heart aches for those who are dealing with such harsh, life-threatening situations. I just need a place to be able to share this part of *my* struggle... and hope for a bit of support.... or perhaps just a swift kick in the butt! ;P My very best to all... MikeH > When I get very low.... and feel the loss more intensely... it is easy for > my mind to slip into that place where I begin to think I might have > preferred to have retained my sexual function for a few more years rather > than living longer with such an incredible loss. :-( And I don't think for > a minute that I'm the only man to have gone through this and to have had > those occasional thoughts. No, you aren't the only person who had those thoughts. My situation wasn't the same as yours, but I certainly thought that at times in the first year post-surgery. In fact, it was some of those thoughts that brought me to this newsgroup, because I was trying to find out how other people dealt with it. I had done some reading in this newsgroup before my surgery, so I knew it was here, but that's when I started to follow it semi-regularly. I'm not sure I'm qualified to give advice on the topic, though, because my body eventually healed. And it's still doing so. Although it wasn't exactly the loss of sexual function that bothered me. It was the prospect of other losses that go with it -- of things that wouldn't be the same again. Some days I was convinced that I could get used to the loss of sexual function, and that it might simplify things if it went away entirely. Except that there was another person involved, so that would make it worse, not better. But my thoughts on the subject weren't always the same, day after day. I wish I knew of something worth saying. Well, I can say that activity helps, and brooding doesn't. (I did plenty of the latter, but was actually quite upbeat when I was physically active.) You're in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of us. As are those people dealing with advanced PCa. It's terrible to be so helpless to help, but we can't turn our backs on you! JohnG > I wish I knew of something worth saying. Well, I can say that activity > helps, and brooding doesn't. (I did plenty of the latter, but was actually [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > with advanced PCa. It's terrible to be so helpless to help, but we can't turn > our backs on you! Hi, John.... I think anyone here who has gone through this is *qualified* to speak about it, and I appreciate your kind reply. I'm delighted to hear that your body is healing.... and that things are coming back. How long ago was your surgery? Yes, activity does help. When I'm busy, I don't have the time to ponder on it, and that's a good thing, as you said! But there are still those moments as I drift off to sleep at night.... or when I awaken in the early morning and can't go back to sleep... I've been working part-time, but will start a full-time job soon, and perhaps that will help. But it's still something I need to *deal with*, you know? I can keep pushing it to the back of my mind... or I can keep busy, busy, busy.... but, in the end, won't I still have to come to some sort of acceptance of it? Thoughts and prayers are always appreciated. I was struck by a part of a post of humorous sayings someone sent me yesterday. There was a statement: "I know God won't give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I wish He didn't have such confidence in me." Take care, JohnG..... and thanks again for your words... just knowing that someone else can understand my feelings helps more than you know! MikeH > Hi, John.... > I think anyone here who has gone through this is *qualified* to speak about > it, and I appreciate your kind reply. I'm delighted to hear that your body > is healing.... and that things are coming back. How long ago was your > surgery? Surgery was just over two years ago. The first year was not nearly so good as the 2nd one. > Yes, activity does help. When I'm busy, I don't have the time to ponder on > it, and that's a good thing, as you said! But there are still those moments [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > mind... or I can keep busy, busy, busy.... but, in the end, won't I still > have to come to some sort of acceptance of it? I sometimes thought about Winston Churchill and what I thought I remembered from one of his biographies. He implied that he was sexually nonfunctional the latter part of his life, and he credited what he was able to do with having all the energy that would otherwise go into sex being channeled instead into his other activities, which in addition to leading a country at war, included a lot of writing, painting and other hobbies, and boozing & schmoozing. So unless Churchill was completely wrong about where his energy came from, I was thinking there could be a plus side. But his problem wasn't exactly the same as my problem, and there was another person involved in this, too. And then I remember that Churchhill was quite the energetic person earlier in his life, too, when he was at least sexually functional enough to make babies. > Thoughts and prayers are always appreciated. I was struck by a part of a > post of humorous sayings someone sent me yesterday. There was a statement: > "I know God won't give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I wish He > didn't have such confidence in me." Ha! I'll remember that one. JohnG > I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being so down. My heart aches for those > who are dealing with such harsh, life-threatening situations. I just need > a place to be able to share this part of *my* struggle... and hope for a bit > of support.... or perhaps just a swift kick in the butt! ;P I hope we, or at least I, did not give the impression that you were in the wrong place for and audience willing to listen and understand demonstrations of depression or, for that matter, a swift kick in the butt! As far as I'm concerned, I'm here for either, .... or both. The other thing about hindsight, is that only those who are alive have any. SRK > > I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being so down. My heart aches for those > > who are dealing with such harsh, life-threatening situations. I just [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > The other thing about hindsight, is that only those who are alive have any. No, Steve..... neither you nor anyone else has given me that impression.... on the contrary..... If anything, I guess *I* feel ashamed to come here with my whining about loss of sexual function when there are people dealing with life and death issues. I really admire so many of you.... you have no idea. I read your posts... and you seem to have such strength in the face of adversity. Each of us is wired differently... and all my life I have seen the glass as half empty. So I guess it should come as no surprise that I'm having a difficult time with this. It's a part of my life that is gone... kaput... fini.... I need to be able to just *accept* that and find other things to be enjoyed. But I seem to always wind up back at my own pity party... grieving for what can never be again. I see a therapist. I'm taking anti-depressants. Believe it or not, they actually help... no telling where I'd be without them. I just hope that five years from now, I'm not still in the same spot... and sometimes that thought makes the idea of not being at all quite appealing. My best to all... MikeH > No, Steve..... neither you nor anyone else has given me that impression.... > on the contrary..... If anything, I guess *I* feel ashamed to come here with > my whining about loss of sexual function when there are people dealing with > life and death issues. I would not, if I were you, feel ashamed to come here with an honest description of what you are going through. I have seen very little of what I would call "whining" in this newsgroup and none of it from you. Incontinence is one of the worst things a man can got through, according to my PCa reading. Sexual dysfunction is second. Death is already an accepted occurrence and therefore, probably not in the top four or five. Everyone knows none of us is getting off this earth alive. So, feel free to continue to consider your problems as important. They are important to all of us. > I see a therapist. I'm taking anti-depressants. Believe it or not, they > actually help... no telling where I'd be without them. I just hope that > five years from now, I'm not still in the same spot... and sometimes that > thought makes the idea of not being at all quite appealing. I trust a lot more in the meds than the psychoanalysis (sorry Doc Henry EV if you're still around). No amount of psycholanalysis has every helped my wife beginning a long time ago with our GP, then psychologists, then psychiatrist. But, changing meds have been real attention-getters. I suspect you are a lot better off hear than on a couch. But, I quickly admit I could be WAY OFF here. SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > > No, Steve..... neither you nor anyone else has given me that > impression.... [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > suspect you are a lot better off hear than on a couch. But, I quickly admit > I could be WAY OFF here. Enjoyed reading these 17 postings. I had my prostate removed three years ago in April and am still not completely dry (one pad a day, unless I'm real active - no pad at night). I'm 61 years old. I haven't had a natural erection since before my surgery. Pump works, but not the same. Viagra and it's competitors don't help much. I still have an interest in having sex with my wife, but without an erection, it's hard to do more than foreplay. I haven't had a climax with her since before the surgery. If I really work at it, I can have a dry climax with masterbation, but it isn't easy to achieve and really not the same. She can't bring me to climax that way. Have a real hard time finding the right place to rub (if you know what I mean). I haven't seen many posts (been reading this forum for a couple of years) from others with my problem until today. I don't think he (Doctor) spared my nerves, although he says he has over a 90% success rate. Very interested in the comments about the prostate's place in a climax. Makes sense that with out one, it would be very different. My doctor has not explained this to me this way. After three years, I see little hope in improvement. My wife is very understanding and we do have a sex life, but nothing like it was before. Welcome, Jack (assuming you're a new "Jack" -- and about the 5th "Jack"). Sounds like you've got Strike One (incontinence) and Strike Two (impotence). I also have two strikes, impotence and recurrence. But, I think you are lucky indeed that you have a wife who works with you on the impotence end of it. SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .3 .4 .8 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .3 .2 .2 .2 .3 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .1 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03 > years ago in April and am still not completely dry (one pad a day, > unless I'm real active - no pad at night). I'm 61 years old. I haven't > had a natural erection since before my surgery. > Welcome, Jack (assuming you're a new "Jack" -- and about the 5th "Jack"). > > Sounds like you've got Strike One (incontinence) and Strike Two (impotence). > I also have two strikes, impotence and recurrence. But, I think you are > lucky indeed that you have a wife who works with you on the impotence end of > it. Amen! MikeH > I haven't seen many posts (been reading this forum for a couple of > years) from others with my problem until today. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > understanding and we do have a sex life, but nothing like it was > before. Hi, Jack.... Have you tried injections? I have another year to go before making a decision on an implant, but I've talked to several guys who have had them and have not found a single one who was not thoroughly pleased with it! I wish you well... MikeH > ... > Enjoyed reading these 17 postings. I had my prostate removed three [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > finding the right place to rub (if you know what I mean). > ... My own sex life is struggling at best, pretty much what Jack describes, though it's early for me. I'm only 2 months post radiation and still with lots of Lupron in my system. I'm hoping the Lupron will wear off, the radiation damage will heal, and it will get better in a few months. In the meantime, I'd like to propose a different solution that might work for some of you. Concentrate on making things pleasurable for your wife. Concentrate on turning her on and bringing her to a strong orgasm. In the first place it will be as strong a turn on for yourself as you're likely to experience, and in the second, there is a real, if vicarious, satisfaction. It's sort of like using her fully functional sexual organs to satisfy both of you. This requires a wife who is interested in and relaxed about sex. I know some of you don't have that good fortune. But for those who have a shot at it, it's worth trying. Alan |
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