That is not an unreasonable request.   My surgeon put his pathology
results in writing, gave me a copy, and also sent a copy to my regular
physician and to the urologist who did my initial diagnosis.   He did this
for each visit, including (I think) the pre-surgery visit I made to get a
2nd opinion.   It looks like it is standard operating procedure for
him.    Today when I went to my regular physician for my annual checkup,
he offered me a copy of the latest report my surgeon had provided.   I
told him I already had a copy.   Maybe he wasn't used to a surgeon
providing that information to a patient.  But in case you had any doubt,
such things ARE done.

JohnG

I hope I understand you correctly - you have been angry over this for 6 months
??
Age - 67
8/12/02 - PSA 3.7
10/13/03 - PSA  4.69
11/11/03 - PSA 4.8
11/18/03 - Biopsy - 10 cores
one core-25% of core-Gleason 4+4=8
all other cores benign tissue
12/10/03 - Consult - Oncologist
12/16/03 - Consult -  Radiation Oncologist
Treatment Plan -
HT - started 12/17/03 - Eulixen & Lupron
Radiation - IMRT to begin 3/14/04 - for 5 wweks
Theraseed implant after Radiation completed

hi debbie - i had a hard copy in my hand at the time of checkout at the
hospital.  i still read from time to time, and some of the things on the
report i didn't remember seeing before.  i know they didn't just jump on
the paper.  

what i'm trying to say is that you husband may have been in shell shock
when the doctor talked to him and he only remembered what he wanted to
remember.  it may have been too much information at one time too.

getting a copy of the path report is not out of line.  he needs it too.
it will give you both a chance to see - in black and white- what you are
up against - good or bad.   this way, there is no second guessing.

hang in there.

~ curtis

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional

...

As a typical male, I also tend to shrug off scary things like pathology
reports. I also have a (typical?) wife who insists on written reports about
almost *everything*, and who would have been just as upset as you in the
same situation.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to request a written report. Most people
are pretty nervous about the post-op report, and it sounds like a good idea
to have a written copy to go over later when you're more calm and can
understand what's in it.

My wife and I have had some difficulties along this same line. It sounds
like you are working through them as we have.

Here's hoping the report says "not involved"!

Hi Debbie and all -

Something that I have not seen discussed on this, or any other forum
is the punishment that our brain takes while our bodies are undergoing
surgery.  So far as I know, most times it is not very noticeable,
other times it is more severe and sometimes the brain never recovers
completely.

Please cut John a little slack. In addition to his surgery, he very
well may have partially freaked out when the doctor dropped another
problem in his lap. It may be that whatever he says about the
conversation with his doctor may or may not be true. If his doctor is
worth a grain of salt he will be glad to fill you in his findings.

Bob Austin

Age 74
PSA 7 Free PSA 12
1st round of biopsies clear, 2nd. 2 positives
Gleason 9
Cryosurgery 03/11/03
Post Op PSA's .04 & .01
RobertBob.Austin@NoSpam.Att.Net

I'm not taking sides, but under all the circumstances you report, I
think....

1.  The doc legitimately assumed John was alone and wished to be that way.

2.  John was understandably inattentive to his pathology and maybe even
prognosis.

3.  The best way to resolve it is to get the thing in writing so you both
know what you're up against now that the initial emotions are out of the
way.

I was in partial denial for well over a year after diagnosis and much of
what I was told during that year I did not "hear" until the denial was over.
I wasn't in complete denial, but partial denial can screw you up on little
things like lymph nodes, etc.  Especially, if you don't know the
significance of lymph node involvement.

Don't be mad, just get the report and plan your actions around it.  Don't
look back and get angry until you know you have a lot of time to look
forward.

Debbie,

As another wife, I totally understand your frustration.  It is a
difficult time for both of you and I'm sure you both are trying to
deal with it the best way you know how.  This journey we are all
taking includes the wife as much as the husband and you have a right
to know.

I have copies of everything done on my husband from day one including
biopsy reports, all blood work, surgical report, History and physical,
discharge summary, pathology report and so on.  I've integrated all
these reports into a notebook for future reference. My husband really
has relied on me to help decipher treatment options, etc. and it helps
to have your medical information in front of you.  Those medical
records are yours and you have every right to have them in your
possession.  Even now, every time my husband goes to the urologist or
oncologist, I ask for copies of consultation reports, psa's, etc.  So,
don't be shy about asking the physician and/or hospital for his
medical records!!

Sandi

Soon after I was diagnosed, I returned to the office and asked to see my
complete chart. The nurse I spoke to had me sign a release, and said that
she would have to discuss it with the doctor. For a nominal fee, they made a
copy of the whole thing. Ever since then, the doctor has furnished me with
copies of anything I've asked for. He has done so graciously, and seems
happy that I am taking such an interest in the technical aspects of my case.

Having my own chart is one of the best investments I've ever made. I went to
Kinko's and made several copies, and I took one with me when I saw other
doctors. It has its own section in my "PCa Project Manual."

By the way, as soon as I was diagnosed, I got a manila folder and set up a
project file. Everything went into this: telephone notes, newsgroup items,
internet downloads, insurance stuff, and of course the chart. This soon
became unwieldly, so I got a ring binder and a 3-hole punch. Thus was
created  the "PCa Project Manual."

Dealing with prostate cancer involves, among many other things, having to
organize and assimilate a huge amount of information. My "PCa Project
Manual" was a useful tool and I recommend its use highly.

Finally, if you have a doctor who is reluctant or unwilling to share
information with you, that is a serious issue and should be discussed with
the doctor. If the issue can not be resolved, then find a doctor you can
work with.

Ernie Gudath 65
PSA 4.3 3/03; 5.6 5/03
Biopsy 1 5/14/03 ambiguous
Biopsy 2 9/18/03 T1c Gleason 6 (3+3)
Scans Negative
RRP 12/11/03
Gleason 6, w/slight marginal, other tissues negative

Debbie,

A diagnosis of cancer is a terrible psychological blow to both
a husband and wife.  There is a danger that each person in the
relationship can become focussed on his own issues and
problems and feel angry at, or hurt by, the other.  But of course
that makes things much worse.  Instead of just dealing with the
horrible disease, you are now dealing with horrible disease plus
interpersonal problems.

I'd like to propose that you and John not worry too much about
these issues.  Resolve to work them out.  Don't let them stand
in the way of your love for each other and your support for each
other in this terrible time.  Give as much love and strength and
support to each other as you can.  I suspect you are both strong
and intelligent people and have a lot to give to each other.

You may know a counselor or clergyman or just a close friend
who can help you discuss these issues and resolve them to both
your's and John's satisfaction.

Best of luck to both of you.

   Alan

Hi Debbie,

I suggest you go to the hospital with John and request a copy of the
pathology report. It took me 5 minutes to get mine at Kaiser.