"Normal" Sexual Function, post-op

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Dave Perry - 20 Dec 2003 21:07 GMT

Hi all, just thought I would share an observation regarding sexual
function and all the statistics we see. I have just been added into
my doctor's data as a patient who, at six months post-op, is able to
have an erection sufficient for normal sexual function (with the help
of Viagra). I'm now bowing in response to all your applause.
Considering my experience, however, I wonder just how many men in the
tables are truly "normal". Let me make a comparison if I may.

Christopher Reeve, the actor who broke his neck and is now paralyzed
from the neck down was on a news snippet a few months ago "walking"
through the help of "medical miracles". There he was, with a harness
around his shoulders suspended from the ceiling with a rope to keep
him upright. He also had dozens of electrodes attached to his legs
which were connected to a computer device that would send electrical
impulses to his leg muscles in a sequence such that as each muscle
contracted his legs would move in a more or less walking fashion. So,
there he was, "walking". I was really saddened by this "show" in more
ways than one.

Now, here I am a few months later able to have "normal" sexual
function according to the statistics. Yup, Willy is hard enough, so I
qualify. But, let me relate the sequence of events that must take
place. First, spouse and I have to make sure we are both available an
hour or two from the start - so much for being spontaneous. I then
take my dose of Viagra and wait. An hour later I go downstairs to
take a shower since little Willy only grows with the aid of the warm
water and standing in the shower, resulting in a "4 o'clock erection"
- long enough and firm enough but pointing to 4 PM (actually more like
4:30). No amount of normal stimulation, physical or mental, does a
thing. As I dry off I lose the erection so before I leave the shower
I have to don a rubber ring from my pump to keep things together.
Then with a lot of jelly we are able to stuff it in (not quite hard
enough to go in by itself) and we "do it". I didn't mention that our
only shower is in the basement and to get to the basement I have to go
outside which means I have to put on at least a pair of pants since I
prefer not to go up the outside stairs naked as a jaybird. Besides,
it's cold out there.

My spouse and I joke and laugh about all this, and I also know this is
a small price to pay to get my PSA <0.1. Besides, the incontinence is
improving which really was a much bigger issue for me. But, I just
cannot help feeling a little bit like old Chris "walking". I suppose
I could also satisfy my doc's statistics and those of all other
medical studies by simply using a tongue depressor and some duct tape.
I wonder how many of those "successes" are like me - hardly "normal".
I used to be "normal" so I know what "normal" is. Sorry, but this
ain't it.

Happy holidays to all,
Dave Perry

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Leonard Evens - 20 Dec 2003 22:03 GMT

> Hi all, just thought I would share an observation regarding sexual
> function and all the statistics we see. I have just been added into
[quoted text clipped - 46 lines]
> Happy holidays to all,
> Dave Perry

There is a good chance that things will get better with time. It
normally takes three months to a year for erections to return and it can
take two years or more. You are still in early days. In my case, it
took over 18 months, during which time we used a pump. On occasion,
things are pretty close to what they were before my surgery, but more
often than not, it gets more complicated. If I use viagra, like you I
have to make an appointment. We tended to do that anyway before my
surgery, because at her age (almost 69), my wife can't jump right into
bed the way she did even when she was 50. So she needs some time for
her arthritis medication to take hold and other preparation. Also, I
seldom have strong clear orgasms in the same sense I did before the
surgery. Things just rise in intensity until I sort of give out, but
in every case, it is still well worth the effort. To some extent, my
orgasms were weakening anyway as I aged, but the surgery seems to have
accelerated the process. On the other hand, I think of all the men my
age who are impotent, even without the excuse of prostate cancer, whose
wives have no interest in sex whatsoever, and I consider myself fortunate.

One of the two new drugs, I forget which, is supposed to remain
effective for up to 36 hours. Perhaps you should try that. Also,
Viagra works for up to four hours, and the time of most effectiveness is
highly dependent on the individual man. So try some experimentation.

Anyway, at least my wife seems to be reasonably happy with what I can
do, not much less happy than she was before my surgery, and we have sex
about as often, usually at least once a week, unless one of us is ill,
sometimes more often. Given that my wife at this stage is not a sex
goddess and I am certainly not a sex god, I think we are doing
reasonably well.

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c palmer - 20 Dec 2003 23:22 GMT

hi dave - first and foremost, you are ahead of the game. there are a
lot of men not having an erection of any kind at one year. you are
indeed lucky, i was indeed lucky - usable at one month post op. but
what is normal????

you have to make an appointment, clear the calendar off to make the time
available. take the pill, wait for the results, and then with the help
of the spouse, you might be ready. notice, that nowhere did i say
spontaneity, nor did you. is this normal? even if you were able to
have the same frequency as far as often, it is normal?? as compared to
before surgery.

the surgeon said it best when he gave the me bad news - YOUR LIVE WILL
NEVER BE THE SAME EVER. i realized it then and i realize it now,
everything has changed, my views on living, my physical body, my timing
of the bathroom use so that i'm not caught out where i can't go, and
then the sexual part.

and so i agree with you - this is not normal, as before, but we are
still breathing. and considering the alternative, it is still the
better choice.

~ curtis

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional

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John Loomis - 21 Dec 2003 00:40 GMT

Hang on to it Dave.....I took 2 plus years, and worked at it just as any
injury......Pump, Viagra,Injection.
Look at the bright side.
You can see willy, hold willy, worry about willy, laugh at willy and try to
make willy stand up and beg!
Keep it up, no pun intended. You are on the right track a pretty soon you
will be back in command of willy or wonthe.
I admit I still use about 25mgs of viagra and hate the 1 hour wait, but,
hey......I am here........
Good wishes, and keep kicking willy, he will surprise you and your friend..
John Loomis

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