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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Prostate Cancer / September 2007This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch.
This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. Our Dad passed away early this morning. Coronary occlusion. Alan had asked me to come down quickly, that Dad was very unwell. I got there about 10 AM, but ambulance had already taken him to the Western Infrimary. Alan was with him when he died. My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. He wasa a big MAN! On September 23, Ron Kearnley wrote: > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. > Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! Yes he was. Elsewhere, I have posted a more complete response to the death of my brother. Steve Jordan Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night by: Dylan Thomas Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Just to sum up: He was only 56, dxd last December with extensive bone mets that required constant morphine -- until his medic was finally convinced that palliative RT was appropriate. He told me that he had found great relief and was virtually off the narcotic. For nearly two weeks he enjoyed a hunting and fishing trip with Ronald, his oldest son. As of Friday, he was planning to return to organ playing, something he had recently been unable to do because of the SEs of his meds. Then at about midnight Saturday Glasgow time he put off a reply to a message of mine, saying he was not feeling well. He died a few hours later. Hugh Kearnley: Soldier of the Queen Expert chef Teacher Talented organist Loving father Loyal friend Brother in adversity Let us each in our own time and manner raise a glass to the memory of our fallen comrade. Steve J "No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee." -- John Donne > Then at about midnight Saturday Glasgow time he put off a reply to a > message of mine, saying he was not feeling well. He died a few hours > later. His last post to this newsgroup was one of the saddest I have ever seen here. His passing caught be my surprise and took me out of action for a half day, but upon reflection, I wish my father had died of a heart attack. > "Steve Jordan" <mycroftscj1@cox.net> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > here. His passing caught be my surprise and took me out of action for a > half day, but upon reflection, I wish my father had died of a heart attack. His first post on a cancer newsgroup was to alt.support.cancer Jan 10/07 I wanted to keep him with us, but once he heard there was a prostate cancer newsgroup, he came right over to ya'll lads and ladies. He sure would have livened up a.s.c. with his interesting posts, but of course, here's where he belonged, where he could compare notes about his medicines.. Do you keep poster's email address changes, Steve? (in case new people want to go back and read his posts?) Maybe others won't, since i assume Americans and Canadians won't have the troubles he had in getting the RT, but I'll save them so I can reread his posts, from time to time I was so discouraged each time the oncologist(s) refused him palliative RT. My uncle has CUP (cancer of unknown primary) and his was diagnosed when his femur broke (near the knee), in April. He was hospitalized for surgery to put a pin in and that was when they realized it was mets to the bone. So he had 3 RT treatments after the surgery (once weekly) and has little need of pain meds since. It was miraculous for Hugh as well. Just wish they'd done it back in Jan or February, instead of August. His quality of life would have been so much better... Quite the tough guy, though, cycling, fishing, pain while sitting to play the organ, delivering newspapers, taking his cat for rides in the basket of the bicycle, broke his toe when the chain came off his bicycle on the way to the oncologist, fell and fractured his elbow, plans to "soothe" pigs in Portugal, going over to europe to play the organ. He sure crammed a lot of living into each day. Did your father have palliative RT, Steve? I guess that's the other reason, I picked your post to reply to Best, J. > Do you keep poster's email address changes, Steve? I keep the changes when I note that they have changed. I did not note his change (other than I had his private email), but I do have his original. cephod@biznews.net > (in case new people want to go back and read his posts?) Maybe others > won't, > since i assume Americans and Canadians won't have the troubles he had in > getting the RT, but I'll save them so I can reread his posts, from time to > time I don't know the difference in Canadian and UK health care, but I suspect that they will eventually gravitate that way. > Did your father have palliative RT, Steve? Yes, he did. Cobalt radiation. It was fairly successful at decreasing tumors and nearly killing him each time. Chemo was worse. > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. > Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! Well, Gordy: It would appear Hughie did not get my message. Maybe God intended it for you afterall. Hughie: I grieve your loss and will spend some time tonight listening to your organ music. Save a place for my up there, Shuggie. > > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. > > Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > > He wasa a big MAN! Ronald - My sincerest condolences. -Gordy > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. Using Dad's > emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! Ronald, We all loved reading your Dad's postings. He was a big hearted man. My condolences to your family. Alan Meyer On Sep 23, 7:41 pm, "Hugh Kearnley" <hughkearn...@btinternet.com> wrote: > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. Our Dad passed away early this morning. Coronary occlusion. Alan had asked me to come down quickly, that Dad was very unwell. I got there about 10 AM, but ambulance had already taken him to the Western Infrimary. > Alan was with him when he died. > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He was a a big MAN! ======>> Dear Sweet Hughie, Now it's time for the angels to rejoice and us to weep. I can't express how much I loved you, my friend. I will make you immortal by writing about you in my own little way. And I will quote the beautiful prose-poetry you have already written about the family you love so much. To Alan, Jack, Ronnie, Tommy, brother-in-law with the RV, Margaret, Jean, Chris, Delboy, Paula -- and Tiger, of course -- thank you for everything you did for my wonderful friend. And Pastor Graham, you are a true man of God. But Alan, you are my hero for caring for your father so tenderly and diligently. Hughie once referred to you in a letter as his "wee, HUGE" lad. And so you are, Alan, a BIG man in every way. Too bad you had to grow up so soon. As a tribute to Hughie, I would like to quote from something I wrote on my blog on the occasion of Hughie's birthday a few months ago. ("Love on ADT: Hughie: and Me" on prostatecancerblog.net) The way I see it, for us it's a death, but for my dear friend it is a REBIRTH. --------------------------------- July 25, 2007 Co-Latha Breith Sona Dhuibih, Dearest Hughie. For all of you who don't know Scottish-Gaelic, that means Happy Birthday. But it can also mean something more. Much more. Here's the rest of what I said to my Glaswegian friend: "Just wanted you to know, Birthday Boy, that I read in the paper yesterday that Bill wants Hillary to be president so that he can be "First Laddie." Well, Hughie dear, you have already won my heart, and so you are *my* "First Laddie." And you will still be that "'til aa the seas gang dry." (But please don't tell Ted.) And in closing: "Attached, my Luve, is a red, red rose. In return I expect a melodie that's sweetly played in tune". (Quoting from Robert Burns' poem.) Your Lassie Always, L. Over the last six months I've gotten to know this man, and my friendship (OK, it's platonic) with him has enriched my life and Ted's immensely I That's what I like about Hughie. He is not "going gently into the good night." A career military man, he is fighting hard, "raging against the dying of the light" (Dylan Thomas). And why shouldn't he be? Hugh is only 56, and he is the most vital person I know. I keep on thinking his membership in this club must be some kind of mistake. Hughie speaks his mind. He can be bawdy and brash, and occasionally he gets a bit tipsy. But he is tough on the outside and tender in the inside. A gentle giant. Hughie is a person who has a big mouth and a big-heart to go along with it. He's a person who feels deeply: his emotions run hot and cold, but never lukewarm. Hugh speaks of the people and things that he loves eloquently, even poetically. Sometimes I find his letters painful to read. I can't do justice to Hughie in one message. So there will be more. And I think you will like it. -------------------------------------------------- > On Sep 23, 7:41 pm, "Hugh Kearnley" <hughkearn...@btinternet.com> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 78 lines] > > -------------------------------------------------- =====>>> I did not get to sign my message. And one more thought, please: "As a perfume doth remain In the folds where it hath lain, So the thought of you, remaining Deeply folded in my brain, Will not leave me: all things leave me: You remain. Other thoughts may come and go, Other moments I may know That shall waft me, in their going, As a breath blown to and fro, Fragrant memories: fragrant memories Come and go. Only thoughts of you remain In my heart where they have lain, Perfumed thoughts of you, remaining, A hid sweetness, in my brain. Others leave me: all things leave me: You remain." --Arthur Symons. Farewell, Hughie. Send me a sign. Your friends, Leah and Ted Cohen NYC We will miss you. Gourd Dancer >> On Sep 23, 7:41 pm, "Hugh Kearnley" <hughkearn...@btinternet.com> >> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 114 lines] > Leah and Ted Cohen > NYC Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone who loved Hughie. He will be missed by many! Jean & Larry On Sep 23, 6:41 pm, "Hugh Kearnley" <hughkearn...@btinternet.com> wrote: > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. > Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! To the Kearnley family, I wish my sincere cocndolensce for the loss. I am happy though that his passing is so quick and seemed like he enjoy life to the end. Thank you so much for passing on Hughie's end to us, Ronald. He was a big man in so many ways, and meant a great deal to all of us. His personality and heart were a big as his body. We shall all miss him, and many of us quietly hope we beat our cancer the same way he did if and when it comes to that. I hope that his death was fast enough that he hadn't time to suffer yet slow enough that he could enjoy giving his cancer the finger. (Did anyone check for an extended digit and a slight smirk on his face?) I will always believe that he, as with many of us, "chose" one of the best periods of human history in which to live our lives. It was obvious that he packed more into his life than most people have, can, or ever will. I.P. Freely > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of > him. Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! My condolences, Ronald. Hughie was a delightful and brave man and I will miss his postings here. Those postings showed how big a man he was. Dora I'm so sorry about Hughie. He was indeed a BIG man and helped us all. Ron Burton Chicago > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of > him. Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! My deepest condolences.....and your Dad was a delightfully outspoken man and I know we all enjoyed that. I am glad for his sake that God took him early and didn't let him suffer. That was a gift to him. You were so lucky to have him in your life for as long as you did. Ron and Heather (Canada) So Long, Hugh. I'll miss your posts. My sincere condolences to his family. Thank you, Ronald, for letting us know. Burney dot Huff at Mindspring dot com >This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. >Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. >He wasa a big MAN! My condolences Ronald, such a loss for you and the rest of your family and friends. It's good that he managed at the end to rob PCa of its final claims on him. On Sep 23, 6:41 pm, "Hugh Kearnley" <hughkearn...@btinternet.com> wrote: > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. > Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. > He wasa a big MAN! Ronald and Alan, My heart skipped a few beats when I read this post today, the 24th. I am Todd and became friends through these posts with your father about a half a year ago. When he disclosed his love of wearing White Sox clothing I offered a trade of a unique White Sox T-shirt for a Rangers shirt. I only wear the Rangers shirt once in a while as I don't want to wear it out. I wore it yesterday. I've never met Hugh Kearnley face to face and yet I feel I know him because of his unabashed transparency regarding his current life as well as his past experiences.He also had a love for us fellow prostate guys that showed as bright as the sun. Hughie's posts were an absolute highlight of my day. I will miss his sense of humor and kindness to me a sort of stranger. One of my favorite passages in the Torah is the part where Jacob's son Joseph was asked by Jacob to go and find his brothers in the pastures. Joseph travels by way of Goshen and comes across a stranger and must ask the stranger where his brothers are. Knowing Hughie was proof to me that in order to find your brother you must talk to strangers. So long friend. WhiteSoxFan >This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. >Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. > >Our Dad passed away early this morning. Ronald and Alan, my sincere condolences to you, your family and friends of Hughie. He was with us here in this support group for such a short time, but immediately endeared himself to us all. Hughie's zest for life and strong faith are what I will always remember. We share in your loss and sorrow, as we have lost a beloved brother. Larry >This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. >Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >My best friend in my life has left me. I loved him so much. >He wasa a big MAN! So sorry Ronald, I enjoyed Hugh's contributions to this ng. He will be missed.  SignaturePSA @ 45 yrs. = 4.7 02/06/2007 Biopsy 03/16/2007 G7(3+4),T1c RLRP 06/12/2007 G7(3+4),T2cN0M0 Neg margins PSA 7/16/2007 = <0.1 PSA 9/12/2007 = <0.1 I have wonderful sons as your father had. And so I suspect he will be listening still, with a smile on his face as he now sleeps peacefully. And through your distress I suspect he would want you most to smile at the great memories he has bequeathed to you - and many others. MikeHi Man Hughie ...... we traded some good emails. You will be missed by many. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends. (gulp) Rich Few have made such an impact in so short a time - Rest In Peace. On Sep 23, 7:41 pm, "Hugh Kearnley" <hughkearn...@btinternet.com> wrote: > This is from Ronald Kearnley, my dad's first son. I am so proud of him. > Using Dad's emails and things to get in touch. > > Our Dad passed away early this morning. Coronary occlusion. As I.P. said he beat the cancer! I am sorry to hear of his death and hope he's having a "banger" "up there". translation: Hugh and I both fancy a pork sausage made in Portugal, fried in grease with scrambled eggs. -kh Hello, Ronald: I am sorry to be posting so late about this -- I've been away from the computer for a few days. And I am truly sorry for the loss of your father. Like many here, I felt that I got to know him very well. I loved his humor, his directness, his passion for his music, and of course I loved his recipes. I will miss him. --charlie Signature6/2006 PSA 5.2, DRE suspicious 7/2006 Biopsy: 2 of 10 positive, Gleason 7(3+4) 11/2006 LRP: Clear margins PSA < 0.01 on 1/2007, 3/2007, 6/2007 so far, so good ... |
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