150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a
private investigator - Alan Pinkerton for protection. That was the
beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time, the federal government has produced a large number
of multi-letter agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF,
etc., etc.

Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security
Service". Can't you see them now, these 'highly trained' men and women in
their black outfits with jackets saying across their backs:
F. A. T. A. S. S.

The FATASS's are of course supervised by a special section of the
Home and Security Section known as: Airport Security Service Home
Office Logistics Enhancement Section or the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S.

I feel safer already.