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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Prostate Cancer / August 2007

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Countering depression?

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Shug - 17 Aug 2007 19:15 GMT
What do you guys do?

When I felt BAAAD I could play the organ or go fishing, which always cheered
me up and gave me so much pleasure.
With drugs that cause so much trembling (Morphine in particular) I can no
longer play keyboard very well for hitting bum notes. My hips are so sore, I
can't sit for too long at the organ.
Fishing - I need someone with me to tie lines or I end up getting hooked
myself and doing damage, both of these newer failings demoralise me to an
unbelievable level.
A recent dissapointment regarding my Son adds to my discontent.
The weepy sessions have become more frequent. I detest this weakness in me.

So - that's my two main natural anti-depressants out the window.
I spend a lot of time in Prayer and meditation, sometimes fasting a day or
two to empasise to my Lord that HE is more important to me than food. THAT
does help - sometimes.
I belong to a chat group in Arizona where we talk every Saturday night -
lots of UK guys too, and just talking with someone who stays 500 miles
away - you feel "Close" and not so isolated. My good friend Steve Jordan put
me in touch with them - you don't have to be from Arizona. Look for Steve's
email from his messages if you want to know more. Contact him direct, or to
Ralphie V - who posts here at times. I'm surprised that Steve K and IP have
not taken advantage of that forum!

You guys with wives or who are in relationships that really mean something
have a great advantage over us singles.
If you have a REAL life-Partner who IS a true friend - you f.cks are MILES
ahead in the survival stakes. I am jealous for my inability to compromise
and hold a female close to me.

There's just SO much sh.t pouring down and for some reason I'm it's target
(I said this to my friend Leah but so far she hasn't replied to that) WHO
the f.ck did I offend so much in a previous life? Or, like JOB, is my Lord
just testing me to see how far I will go before denying Him? ( I NEVER
will - HE is my reason for living and my King the Lord Christ - my
REDEMPTION)

Or am I just my usual feeling sorry for myself?  Jesus, My King, He knows I
wasn't like this a year ago.

Or am I just starting - no - I'm a LONG way into this - to be Paranoid?

WHAT do you guys do?
Interested to know.
HUGHIE. (Very mixed up right now) - oh - and sober - in case Alex wants to
interject.
(Sorry Alex - couldn't help that)
Richbro - 17 Aug 2007 21:44 GMT
> What do you guys do?
>
[quoted text clipped - 44 lines]
> interject.
> (Sorry Alex - couldn't help that)

Well HUGHIE, I take anti-depressant drugs which turned me around in a
matter of 2 weeks. My laymans understanding is that certain chemical
reactions in the brain can be dealt with via drugs. In my case it took
the edge off and I started looking at things without such an urgent
'gotta do something' attitude.

Rich
Alan Meyer - 17 Aug 2007 22:27 GMT
> What do you guys do?
...

Well, I'll tell you a little story about something that cheered
me up.  It's a story about life and music, two things that I know
you're interested in.

I read some time ago that way more than 99% of the DNA of all
people is the same.  The reason is that we are all, in fact,
related.  In a very literal and true sense, we are all cousins.

It's not just that you and I, Hughie, are cousins, but Mozart and
Bach and everyone on this newsgroup and everyone else that we
might admire are our cousins too.

One night I went to a symphony concert.  There on the stage were
about 90 of our cousins playing the instruments.  Some of them
were my age, but there were also younger ones that I knew would
still be playing after I was gone, and would be replaced by
others who would play after they went.  They were playing a
symphony by our cousin Antonin Dvorak.  It was magnificent.

I listened to them play and I thought, they are representing me
on that stage.  They're playing for me.  And they're terrific.  I
love them all.

It seems to me that we are part of a larger human enterprise.  We
play a very small part in that enterprise.  A few of our
especially talented cousins like Mozart and Dvorak play a larger
part, but we all do what we can.  We are all part and parcel of
the enterprise.  It is that large stream of life that gives us
our individual bits of life and that makes our lives worthwhile.
And that stream will continue to flow and flow long after we are
gone.  We'll get up from our chairs and hand our instruments to
our younger cousins, just as Wolfgang and Antonin and all our
older cousins handed them down to us.  They will pick them up and
play for us.  They will keep our music alive and keep the faith
for us.

Go to a concert and watch the young people play.  When that
becomes too difficult, then turn on the radio and listen.  And
when that's over, you might call up the video store and watch our
dear departed cousins, Groucho, Chico and Harpo Marx show us what
fun our cousins were having before we were born.

   Alan
Steve Jordan - 18 Aug 2007 00:13 GMT
On August 17, Alan Meyer replied to Hugh:

> Well, I'll tell you a little story about something that cheered
> me up.  It's a story about life and music, two things that I know
> you're interested in.

(snip)

Alan covered it well.

I wish I had said that.

Regards,

Steve J

"Never -- never -- never give up!  Never go gently.  There will be plenty of
gentle after we die, so until then, fight! Control the rhythms and tempo
of the dance, even when you have to let the PCa dancing bear lead for awhile
-- even when you have to wear the lead suit as you dance -- never let the
bear set the rhythm and tempo of your dance with life -- when the bear
finally takes control, it will be a very hollow feeling for him, because I
will be gone -- dancing in a better place."
--E. B. (Burns) Mixon, PCa survivor, June 14, 2005 on The Prostate
Problems Mailing List
Thank you, Burns. Live long and prosper.
Just - 20 Aug 2007 01:27 GMT
>> What do you guys do?
>...
>
>Well, I'll tell you a little story about something that cheered
>me up.  It's a story about life and music, two things that I know
>you're interested in.

snip....

>    Alan

Hi Alan!

Great story. Nicely put. I read it on Friday and still had it on my
mind today. And came back to read it again.

Thank you. Best wishes.

Just

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california_chief - 20 Aug 2007 04:31 GMT
"Shug" wrote:

> What do you guys do?

I like the bio of Norman Cousins, a big-wig publisher or editor (New
Yorker???).  It was a made-for-TV movie aired by CBS circa 1984.  I was very
lucky to have had the foresight to record it at the time and have shown it
at support groups in my area.

He converted a room in his mansion into a mini-theater and bought every
available cartoon and comedy movie he could lay his hands on -- Wily Coyote,
Amos and Andy, Little Rascals, Chip and Dale, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and
Costello, etc. etc. etc. etc.

He went into that room and spent hours viewing those movies.  Family members
often stood outside the locked door listening to and worrying about his
"rolling-on-the-floor" belly laughter.

Robin Williams often injects humor into his movies as a way to cure
problems/illnesses.

And I've become a firm believer that humor is a better way to handle a
problem than wallowing in self-pity.
J - 17 Aug 2007 22:35 GMT
> What do you guys do?
>
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> A recent dissapointment regarding my Son adds to my discontent.
> The weepy sessions have become more frequent. I detest this weakness in me.

Hips paining? Or soreness from the RT?
The former should start improving soon. The latter, have to ask the radiation
oncologist.
Some people use udder balm, but I'm not sure it's allowed in between sessions.
Hang in there, Hugh.
Hopefully the more RT they do, to various places, the sooner you can cut back on
the morphine and be back to your fishing and organ playing.
J
Ron B - 17 Aug 2007 22:46 GMT
I'm sorry you're suffering so much Shug.

I,too take 2 anti-depressants, anxiety medication, diabetes meds...and a
variety of others.

I have therapy each week where I talk to someone in psychology.

Maybe you could talk to a cleryman...and the previous comment about
brain chemicals is correct.

Medicine can help how you feel.

As a former druggist...I KNOW this is true.

Think about it.

My very best to you,

Ron B.

Chicago
Steve Kramer - 18 Aug 2007 00:29 GMT
> What do you guys do?

I walk, Hugh.  But, you do, too, when you're delivering papers.  If I can't
walk, I take solace in the computer.  I usually have some sort of project to
do, a spreadsheet to build, PowerPoint to create, etc.  But, it's usually
for my job or for some volunteer work I do.  Barring that, I have a 17' x
17' workroom (I guess that's little more than 4 meters x 4 meters to you).
And, if I'm not messing it up, I'm cleaning it up.  And if I'm not up to
that, I have a 120-year-old billiard table downstairs.  Finally, if I have
to, there's always TV.

> I spend a lot of time in Prayer and meditation, sometimes fasting a day or
> two to empasise to my Lord that HE is more important to me than food. THAT
> does help - sometimes.

You should throw that one out the window as well.  Fasting and even serious
dieting will cause your autoimmune system to shut down fairly early on while
the body perceives you to be starving.  I'm sure God will understand it if
you do not selecte harmful sacrifices.

> I'm surprised that Steve K and IP have not taken advantage of that forum!

I never saved the URL.  It does sound interesting, assuming it's done early
enough in the evening.

> Or, like JOB, is my Lord just testing me to see how far I will go before
> denying Him? ( I NEVER will - HE is my reason for living and my King the
> Lord Christ - my REDEMPTION)

Job had a little help from the devil.  Hopefully, he's not visiting you as
often.

Signature

PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3cN0M0 Neg margins
PSA  <.1  <.1  <.1  .27  .37  .75            PSAD 0.19 years
EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
PSA  .34 .22 .15 .21 .32                       PSAD .056 years
Lupron 07/03 (1 mo) 8/03 and every 4 months there after
PSA  .07 .05 .06 .09 .08 .132 .145       PSAD 1.4 years
Casodex added daily 07/06
PSA <0.04, <0.05, <0.04 (06/12/2007)
Non Illegitimi Carborundum

callalily - 18 Aug 2007 03:05 GMT
Sweetheart,

Now you have given me a long weepy session.  I don't know what you are
talking about when you say I haven't responded to you.  I got your
last letter 8/14, 8 pm and responded at 10:30.  I asked for an update
on how you were feeling.  I have been sitting by the computer waiting
to hear from you.

Maybe there's a drug that can ease the tremors.  And the hip pain may
abate on its own, if I understood correctly.  Plus as Alan wrote so
beautifully, there is still the pleasure of listening to music.
Remember when you wrote that you weren't ready to die, there was still
music to be played? Well, there's still music to be listened to.
When I am feeling down I like listening to hymns and spirituals --
like Mahalia Jackson.

> A recent dissapointment regarding my Son adds to my discontent.

What exactly is that?  What you wrote me about?   The boy just turned
18.  He's practically a child.  And he's got a lot on his mind.
Remember when he said, "I love you, Dad" and gave you all those hugs
that practically smothered you?  Think about what you said about the
time you gave him his birthday present: "I would do anything to see a
smile on my bonny laddie's face."  And how the time when a drop of
water got on his eye and the way the sunlight hit it made you see
rainbows?  Finally, let's not forget those impossibly long eyelashes.

> I spend a lot of time in Prayer and meditation, sometimes fasting a day or
> two to empasise to my Lord that HE is more important to me than food. THAT does help - sometimes.

It's bad for 2 reasons.  You need your strength.  Also, if the Lord
gave you a talent for cooking, obviously He meant for you to use it.
Whip up something special for the boy.

> I belong to a chat group in Arizona where we talk every Saturday night -

If you are feeling low you can chat with a real person on the phone at
any hour of the day or night.  There are a number of crisis hotlines
available to you, and you shouldn't hesitate to make use of them.
It's better than therapy because the person is doing it out of
conviction and not for money.  And they will talk as long as you want.
Forget about being embarrassed.  That goes for anybody.  Google your
local county or state and "mental health association", "crisis
hotline" or "helplines."

=======================

The Samaritans offer free, confidential advice 24 hours a day, seven
days a week. Call: 0845 7 909090,

Breathing Space is a free, confidential phoneline service for any
individual who is experiencing low mood or depression, or who is
unusually worried and in need of someone to talk to. Breathing Space
operates between 6pm and 2am. Call: 0800 83 85 87 or visit:
www.breathingspacescotland.org.uk

NHS 24 works in partnership with local NHS Boards out-of-hours
services to provide patients with health advice and help when GP
practices are closed.
Call: 0845 4242424 or visit: www.nhs24.com

Befriending is an additional service, complimentary to our other
services. It is where a trained volunteer spends time with someone
who, through various circumstances, has become isolated. Both people
will meet on a regular basis and share an activity together (sorry I
lost the rest).

More at samh.org.uk, gamh.org.uk and prostatecancer.org.uk.  Also
macmillan.org.uk has 3 cancer hotlines.

=========================

> You guys with wives or who are in relationships that really mean something have a great advantage over us singles.

Well, I'm your friend, even wrote a couple of stories about you on my
blog.  Do you think I'm a man or something?  My husb just asked if I
might be able to make some time for him.  Maybe, but first things
first.

> There's just SO much sh.t pouring down and for some reason I'm it's target
> (I said this to my friend Leah but so far she hasn't replied to that)

What else besides the health problems?

>WHO the f.ck did I offend so much in a previous life?

Sounds like you're talking about karma, and according to that
principle those who die young have "higher souls."  So maybe you
didn't offend anybody.

> Or am I just my usual feeling sorry for myself?  Jesus, My King, He knows I wasn't like this a year ago.

Didn't Jesus say on the Cross, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken
me?"  Maybe it's OK to feel sorry for yourself sometimes.

BTW, that phrase is from the Psalm book, which is a very comforting
thing to read when you're in trouble.

The boss just walked in.  Apologize for the length of this, but there
are extenuating circumstances.

L.
tarhoosier@carolina.rr.com - 18 Aug 2007 17:11 GMT
> What do you guys do?
>
[quoted text clipped - 44 lines]
> interject.
> (Sorry Alex - couldn't help that)

Hugh, dear Friend:

Your feelings must be somewhat like the inadequacy I feel in
responding. I wish I could touch you in the physical sense not the
metaphoric sense.
We are your partners.
You have taught while I have learned from you.
You have a transatlantic influence. Keep typing. Just keep typing.
.
rosbif - 18 Aug 2007 18:17 GMT
>What do you guys do?

I can't put myself in your shoes or anything like, Hughie, but I think
this would be my plan. For starters, I would definitely be asking for
some anti-depressant medication.  On the few occasions when I've been
in the depths - entirely different circumstances so can't in any way
compare the nature or magnitude of mine with yours - it's been
impossible to make a start on anything, I've just been marking time
and feeling awful, there's nothing to hang on to, nothing to pull on.
So anti-depressants are, I'm quite sure, a good idea, I wouldn't need
any persuading. THEN...what about reading?  There's some wonderful
literature around to get stuck into. Fiction, history, biogs, whatever
takes your fancy. Tune into radio 4's Bookclub and go to the program's
archive to listen to earlier programs and recommendations. Nothing, to
my mind, transports or elevates us quite as much as ideas. If
possible, I'd find a local book group where others are keen to talk
about and suggest books to read.  There are lots of these about and
it's always a real plus to talk to someone about a book you're
enjoying.  Alan has suggested music, and I think art in general can
pack a big therapeutic punch.  Museums, galleries, whatever you can
get to.  I love film and reading and would happily lock myself away
with a pile of DVDs and books, BUT -  I would most certainly be taking
anti-depressants just to get me out of the trough, to provide a bottom
rung and to help me get outside myself.-r
Alex - 20 Aug 2007 16:59 GMT
> What do you guys do?
>
[quoted text clipped - 45 lines]
> interject.
> (Sorry Alex - couldn't help that)

Hugh,

I am so sorry for your pain, and glad I was wrong.

It's clear that, with your strong religious feelings, prayer and meditation,
you've got the "internal" side covered. On the "external" side, it sounds
like you are somewhat limited in what you can do physically because of the
trembling, etc. But if you can get some modest exercise -- walking,
swimming, even walking back and forth in the shallow end of a pool -- you
may find that helps fight the funk. If you can find a few others to exercise
with you, that can help maintain the commitment and provide some
companionship. In very hot or cold climates, some groups walk inside malls.

And as others have suggested, try renting every Marx Brothers or other silly
comedy you can find.

As for disappointment from your 18-year old son -- I have a daughter that
age, and I think driving us crazy is their main goal at about that time of
their lives. What helps me is remembering what an idiot I was at 18.

Alex
Lud - 20 Aug 2007 18:13 GMT
> What do you guys do?
> ...
> WHAT do you guys do?
> Interested to know.
> HUGHIE. (Very mixed up right now)

It's a bummer with all the problems you are having!
I am following behind and I guess we will all get there sooner or
later.

There are a few items that have helped me as I have a poor tolerance
for most meds messing up my system, especially androgen deprivation. I
found it was the loss of estrogen that did me in so now I am on
estrogen patches - a Climara 50 patch once a week and it helps with my
emotional and mental stability. Then to get myself going and doing
something instead of just sitting and being a vegetable, I found that
Ritalin helps.

This is what gets me going and trying to enjoy what I have left.

Lud
dale.j. - 23 Aug 2007 00:12 GMT
> What do you guys do?
>
[quoted text clipped - 44 lines]
> interject.
> (Sorry Alex - couldn't help that)

Twenty five years ago I found physical activity helped me a lot.  I
still run and walk every day to relieve the tensions.  It is my thinking
and calming time.  
dale j.

Signature

Email:  dalej2@mac.com

 
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