Hello all you old f.cks!  Sorry about the rude salutations, but what the
heck! Who really cares?
I shall have attained the ripe age of 56 years old this coming Monday at
3:15 PM UK time.
In 1990 I was pronounced "dead" then paddled about a bit in the ER till I
got alive again but with a lot of chest bruises and threats of "WHO did
that? - I''ll beat your brains ou....." "Zzzzzzonk!" for a week;.Then I
slowly got better and went for a tour of the world's rainforests and learned
to make friends with some very cuddly and mite-infested Orang Utans, got
Chylamidia in Chang Mai from the most charming lady and a severe dose of
Ghandi's Revenge in Calcutta from an incorrectly cooked Chicken Chaaatt.
Fell down an ancient well in Mallacca (Fire brigade called out) got stuck up
a Coconuit Palm on Beserah Beach (silly arse) and then almost got arrested
for interupting a buddhist procession in Johore Bahru.

I swam naked (Unintentional) on the back of a bottlenose Dolphin in the
Persian Guf - just opposite Sharjah pier on boxing day 1970, it was
fantastic - dolphin just lifted me and flipped me over -I was crapping it!
Then once on his back and bounding through the waves, it was a blessing from
the Lord! Increddabubbel!

I held onto the dorsal fin of an Orca in the Falklands on Christmas Day
1991, had been feeding him/her with fresh slaughtered Lamb Guts to try to
stop the Orca eating frehly hatched Rockhopper Penguins from being chomped.
Beautiful little things I had helped into the world just to see the Orca
sharpen his teeth.
I'd been feeling very bad about myself for days and when someone suggested a
£2000 bet to getinto the water, I did just that. The feeling of terror as
those huge jaws came towards me, I threw aside and he/she just giggled and
brushed me aside looking for another snack with a snort and squeal !-(WHEW)
Grabbed the Dorsal fin and got pulled through the surf of Port Stanley Bay
much to the amusement of pax on the QE2 ! She/He had the sense to drag me
back to the FIPASS! My Officer charged me with Desertion of DutyI
appleadleszaddf (whsat!(*=) and was awarded a Souh Atlantic Medal at Buck
House from HM!  I took Alan and Amy The erew over thwe moon - Alan more
concerned with the sparkling jewels of Imperiil Majesty than realities of
politics,  However, that is all another story.