No incontinence treatment is highly reliable or without appreciable
risks. My uro does not advise them unless I get desperate about my
leakage. Some guys go berserk over literally a couple of drops, and
treatment costs many of them dearly. Others far prefer changing pads or
even diapers a couple of times a day to risking worsening their
situation. They ain't gettin' a knife near my crotch again until and
unless I'm leaving a trail like a 190-pound snail; too much risk for me.

Have you been doing your Kegels frequently and correctly? If not, I
wouldn't so much as take "continence pills" before doing that for a few
months. Many of us don't *see* relief; we must work our pelvic muscles
to the bone to achieve it.

Speaking of bones, ditto for "Mr. Happy". He's not likely to wake up on
his own. Just as with your pelvic floor muscles, he needs lots of
exercise. Is he getting it? And . . . how old are you? How was your
performance prior to surgery? Were the nerves spared?

I.P.

Statistically you are a little behind the curve but at 9 months you
still have reasonable expectation of further improvement, esp on the
incontinence front.  I continued to see improvement at little past the
one year mark.  On the ED issue, if you aren't doing anything you
should start, in particular at the least get a vacuum pump and use it
as often as you can manage to in order to keep some blood flow going
in and out.  From what I have been told the cialis or other pills for
ED are not likely to do much good if you are not getting any response
down there to manipulation.  The pills work by helping to KEEP an
erection.  If you can't get even the start of an erection then there
is nothing to keep.  So while it doesn't hurt to use them, using them
may not be helping.

As I recall, your surgery was somewhere around the 1st of September.  So,
we're talking 9 months, give or take.

The first time that I noticed the my pads were dry was about 9 months, give
or take.  But, like you said, everyone is different.  Some take over a year.

My first, unassisted erection was 3 days shy of 2½ years.  Admittedly, I was
at the long end of "everyone is different", but it finally happened.  Things
can be moved along in this department by vigilant practice.  It also appears
that regular small doses of Viagra helps.  I assume Cialis is similar in
that regard.

My nemisis was golf.  I never quite got the hang of hitting a golf ball
without squirting.

The good news is you may have a long, long time to work on these problems.
Congrats on the PSAs.

You're forgetting kneeling, laughing, ladder climbing, getting up out of
an overstuffed chair, jumping, getting sexually  aroused, picking up the
grandkids, or lifting or carrying any heavy load for that matter, having
 bladder spasms, and sometimes even just getting tired at days end.

Even if we knew all of your particulars, it would be hard to guess where
you will end up where the incontinence is concerned. Where Mr Happy is
concerned, same story, everyone is different. One fine morning you may
wake up with a smile on your face when the unexpected happens. Wow, what
a treat that would be!!

Bottom line, count your blessings, and be patient, your psa/cancer is
what matters and you can deal with the other inconveniences as need be.
 You are in a hurry, but this all might take time and you sure do not
want to go from the frying pan to the fire.  If your psa was climbing,
how concerned would you be about the other stuff??  Best of luck to you
Tony, hang in there (maybe not the best way to put it?).

 >

Hello, Tony:

Congratulations on the post-op PSA scores!  Keep those '< 0.01s'
coming!

As far as leakage ... I recall your posts in November, in which you
were talking about a 'flow.'  Now, you're talking about stress
incontinence.  It sounds as though you've had some improvement, just
at a slow rate.  Maybe you should give it some more time before going
after more agressive treatments like slings.  (Just my humble opinion,
of course.)

How often do you do Kegels?  I've read elsewhere that too many
actually slows the process of strengthening the pelvic floor muscles,
as it tires them out.  I do two sets of ten reps a day, once in the
morning and once in the evening.

As far as erections ... do you do anything to stimulate erections?
(Masturbate, fantasize, etc.)  I started a few weeks after the surgery
(often with the stunningly beautiful wife's help but not always).
Noticed nothing until about 3 month's post-op, when she said she
thought it was getting longer when I climaxed.  Since then, we've both
noticed a little improvement each time.  Now at almost seven months,
it's not usable yet but it's getting there; a vitamin V assistance
helps.   But I believe that the effort we're putting into it is making
the difference.

As far as your age ... I'm 51, and I think I know something about how
you feel.  It sucks to have discussions like this.  I struggle with my
patience, too.  But what can we do, except to play the hand we're
dealt?

--charlie