Why parents drink!!!!!!!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad."  With the
worst
premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for
cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad.  I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm
sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

PS.  Dad, none of the above is true.  I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home