<snip>

<snip>

Welcome to the disillusion supplied by the doyens LOL.

-Please reply to group as my email addr is fake!

-Regards CC

Apologising is starting to be a habit.
I received a private message from one of the group members, indignant enough
with me to have sent it and couched in no uncertain terms expressing his
anger.
We all say things we don't really mean in the heat of the moment and the
very nature of this type a message thing, precludes us knowing exactly
what's going on in the other person's head at the time. That can provoke an
unexpected and fiery response - as I very well now know.
Standing back for a few days to let this thing die a natural death -
hopefully.
6AM in Glasgow, raining and cold.
HUGH.

Hughie, don't sweat it. There's no way to predict with any reliability
what will set off others. IMO Callalily certainly has the right to
express her wrath if she feels wronged (I didn't read the thread, so
don't know who else went off), even though over-expressing it hinders
resolution. If you think you've seen unusual, unwarranted,
unsubstantiated personal attacks -- aka ad hominem or flames -- in this
thread, you've led a sheltered Internet life. ;-)

Flaming is all some people know how to do when their positions are
questioned (it's characteristic of a major demographic of my country),
regardless of how impersonally it's done. So ya:
bite yer tongue,
ignore the flames (i.e., shovel their pony crap aside),
discuss the topic (the pony) rationally,
try to keep the flamer on topic,
continually reevaluate the discussion's progress,
keep asking yourself whether the pony is worth the pony crap,
hope bystanders discourage the offender's ad hominem,
then when it's obvious the flamer is totally and incorrigibly unwilling
to resolve a truly important issue, just a) call 'im a lying bastard
(presuming he's lying and behaving like a bastard), b) plonk him, and c)
go find other ponies. [If the pony isn't genuinely important to others,
step (a) is optional.] Some people's ponies just aren't worth their
horse crap, and masochists who still care about the facts at this point
can Google the archives.

Only a few regulars here (a couple of PC patients and one or two
passers-by who aren't even in the club by proxy) frequently spew flames,
and they're easily filtered if one tires of the futility of trying to
engage them rationally. Life's too short to waste it arguing with
8-year-olds, and IMO Internet criticism has value only if it comes from
rational, credible adults with substantiated gripes; word gamers need
not apply.

I.P.

Dear, sweet Hughie (and Alan),

I just saw your nice message.  I had just been taking a "break" from
the computer.

First, let me welcome Alan to this "club".  Although as a family
member he does not get "full membership, and we hope he never needs
it."

Thank you for the valiant "defense".  If I had to go to battle, I
would want no one by my side but you, Hughie.  I have to say I was
feeling a little battered, but in the end, I'm unbreakable.  And so
much for you being a misogenyst. :-)

We were all privileged to witness a family drama, described
beautifully by you, and I just wanted, more than anything, for the
story to have a happy ending.  And when I get really passionate about
things, I can get carried away.  Also because, in this case, I believe
strongly in *the principle*.

You know, this is a "family" that has been thrown together by fate,
just like a real family.  Se we have our squabbles, even wars  But
ultimately, we always make up, because we know we are in this together
no matter what.

I hope you will write me soon.  I thought maybe I was the one who'd
done something to upset you.

Also, I don't think I will bring up the Constitution any time soon.  I
said a few things from memory, and along comes a panel of legal
scholars to cross-examine me.   So I'll put constitutional law on the
back burner, in the same way I've learned to stay away from politics.
In fact, I just saw that someone has prolonged that "civics" thread,
but I am not even going to look at the msg.

The problem is that when somebody challenges me and I feel attacked, I
get ferocious.  So my job is to learn to disengage from the situation
before I return fire.

It was very unfortunate that somebody was addressing me in a certain
tone, telling me what the Truth is (I don't think it was out of any
ill will), presumably what any decent person ought to believe.
Honestly, I had never come across anything like this before. The
writer also warned that somebody might sidle up alongside me (like a
serpent?) and drag me with them to Hell.  Well, all this just pushed
my nuclear hot button. I think I have post-traumatic stress disorder.
(My other policy was not talking about religion.)

Anyway, I am putting away the boxing gloves, and I hope we will all be
civil and good to one another, the way we usually are.

I have to go because my mother is calling me.  Let's all get together
and have a virtual cup of tea.

Love you,

Leah

You, sir, certainly did not stir a hornet's nest.

Nor did I detect any hate.  Anger, maybe.  But I would hope it did not
elevate to hate.

The focus of my ire was recriminations that I found to be incredibly
insensitive to you personally.  You, however, have just made it clear that
they were, for all intents and purposes, made with your implied, if not
expost facto permission.

Ergo, as I eluded to in a post several days ago, I apologize to you and will
respect your wishes.

Actually, yes, the Law does matter.  However, I concur it has not bearing in
this newsgroup and should not have been quoted.....   er..... misquoted...
here.