Broaching the subject

December 19, 2006

Partners of cancer patients have needs, too. But often they feel
selfish for asking, or clueless about how to start a conversation about
sex. Here are some ideas. But remember: Sexuality and intimacy include
far more than intercourse.

"Honey, I miss being close to you."

"I love the way it feels when we lie together. Can I just hold
you?"

"Can I rub your back?"

"Would you like to take a shower together?"

"Would it be OK if I rubbed lotion into your scar?"

"I've really missed having sex with you. Is this something we can
talk about now that you seem to be feeling better?"

- Source: Hester Hill Schnipper, "After Breast Cancer," Bantam
Books, $16.

SEXUALLY SPEAKING: RESOURCES
PRODUCTS

Sexual enhancement: Pure Romance offers certified consultants trained
to help women facing cancer find appropriate lubricants, toys and skin
care through their Sexuality, Sensuality, Survival program. Call (612)
419-6807 or check www.pureromance.com/sss:

UNMENTIONABLES

This new Minneapolis boutique, an extension of Extrados spa, offers
post-surgery fittings of the finest lingerie in a private and
comfortable setting. Call (612) 920-0227 or check www.extrados.com.

Removable nipple enhancers: www.bodyperks.com.

Post-mastectomy lingerie and swimwear: www.amoena.com.

BOOKS

"After Breast Cancer," Hester Hill Schnipper, updated 2006.

"Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book," updated 2005.

"Breast Cancer Husband," Marc Silver, 2004.

"Making Love Again: Hope for Couples Facing Loss of Sexual
Intimacy," Virginia and Keith Laken, 2002.

WEB SITES

American Cancer Society: www.cancer.org.

American Foundation for Urologic Disease: www.afud.org.