from my own experience: incontinence is not a worry. For me the problem
exists with ED. Almost 9 months after surgery and my  friend Willie is still
sleeping. Best luck Colophony

Hi Lisa,

My husband is almost four weeks post-robotic surgery and he has had no
incontinence at all.  He started wearing a pad the day the catheter came out
... on day nine post-op ... but never needed them.  He hasn't had one single
drop of urine leakage.  We realize this is almost unheard of and we're
feeling very lucky and very blessed.

When we found out my husband had prostate cancer in June we told everyone we
knew so we would have an awesome support group.  It has been wonderful!!  I
certainly realize everyone is different and this is obviously a very private
time for you and your husband, but let people make a fuss and let them send
all their good thoughts your way.

My hubby worked from home in our recliner.  He loved it!!!  He was totally
wireless and was able to communicate via computer/cell phone/pager and he
started this the day after he got home from the hospital.  He said it helped
him feel like he was still in the loop and not actually recovering.  The
first three or four days he didn't work long -- an hour here, an hour
there -- but he sure did work.  And if he wasn't working, he was walking.
He started at 1/2 mile the day after he got home from the hospital and by
the end of a week he was up to three miles per day.

We're not sure about ED yet as we're under instructions from the surgeon to
NOT try anything for eight weeks.  He had to remove 30% of the nerves on the
right side but he rebuilt them so we're hoping everything will be okay.  We
shall see.

Good luck, and I hope everything goes as well for your husband as it has for
mine.

Jean

I used Depends only for about a month, and I didn't have to worry about
disposting of them at work because I was retired.   But I definitely
remember odor not being a problem.  He can put them in a sealed plastic
bag before dumping them in trash, and that should deal with that
problem.  I do remember that the pads held a surprising amount of fluid,
but of course how often he has to change them will depend on how much
fluid he has to get rid of.  Avoiding coffee or anything else which
encourages urination might be a good idea.  But he definitely shouldn't
avoid adequate fluids since that can create serious problems.  Also,
even if he leaks quite a lot, he may have some control over urination
and if he tries regularly to empty his bladder, that may help.

Do you have any helpful hints or things you learned

Dear Paul & Lisa,

I'm now 14 months post-RRP and had quite a bit of incontinence during much
of that time. I'm better now.  I found, however, that the incontinence was
quite manageable and not a big quality-of-life issue. Plastic shopping bags
for disposal are quite helpful. Just tie the sack in a knot to eliminate
odor. Also, I shared my condition with all my family and some of my friends
and colleagues. I found I was a lot more comfortable not keeping my
condition a secret from people who matter to me.  I would not have
appreciated someone else publicly announcing it, however!

I found that Depends did not hold much liquid, and so I did some Google
research about alternatives. What I found was that a number of European
briefs were reportedly more absorbent and better made. When I tried some, I
found they fit me better and leaked less. The ones I settled on were Abena
Abri-form X-plus brief which I ordered from KCK Medical (888 880-1967,
www.kckmedical.com), the U.S. distributor. They were a bit more expensive
with shipping, but lasted longer, fit better and leaked less. Those things
were important for me. I found information on other European briefs, like
Molicare, which may be just as good. After trying several store-variety
briefs, I tried these from KCK Medical and preferred them.

I also found that nobody noticed that I was wearing briefs. The Abena's are
a bit bulkier than the Depends, but were apparently not at all noticeable.
Nor did they make noise when I walked.

I did Kegels and used Detrol religiously for perhaps eleven months, but
could not tell that either made much difference. That, of course, is only my
personal experience. I have improved slowly and now mostly use pads, except
when I travel.

Michael

This is generally the case.  The top three are usually life, incontinence
and ED -- and usually not in that order.

I had open surgery and wore Depends up to the day before I went back to
work.  After that, it was a thick pad that lasted me 8 hours.  I suspect
that by the time he goes back to work, his Depends will last the full 8.
However, I have had to dispose of a few pads in the past.  I just shoved
them down into the garbage can in the john.

I cannot imagine that the anesthisiologist cannot access the patient.  It's
a computer operated operation, but he is not locked away in total isolation.

From your perspective now, I'm sure it's a problem for you.  I think you
will find he did you a favor.  It is incredibly difficult to tell people you
have cancer.  I still hate telling someone who didn't know.  I am always
uncomfortable about their discomfort.  This way, they know, they worry and
in a year, they'll forget.  No stress in hiding it.  No stress in
remembering who knows and who doesn't.

Absolutely my greatest purchase.  I was in a 12-year-old Lazy Boy at the
time.  Gave it to my wife and bought a new one.  Man, was it nice!!  Still
is.

Lisa,
Women for years have been disposing of pads without a problem. Tell him to
keep a brown paper bag in his pocket and stuff the pants in the bag and drop
it in the trash. Or place a fresh pair of pants in a brown bag and then he
can take the fresh one to the bathroom in the same bag in which he will
dispose of the used one. Pads come with their own little plastic wrapper or
he can simply wrap the pad in toilet paper and then trash it. No one will
know what he dropped in the bathroom trash. I don't think people actually
LOOK in the trash can!

OMG!!! I think his boss violated just about every possible rule on the job!
Paul could probably take his boss and the company to court and then retire.

My hubby didn't tell anyone at work. I told on him to a co-worker. She
served as my guardian angel for him the whole time. He did wind up telling
his boss, a female, that he might be late getting to work for a few weeks.
His boss looked at him and asked him directly if he was undergoing radiation
treatments for cancer. He just about fell out of his chair. Turns out her
dad had just finished radiation treatment for PC. So they were the only two
people who knew and to some extent I suspect that my friend may have told
the boss because the gals are buddies. Now, my husband works in a different
department, in a different building, and at some point he did mention to his
new boss that he'd been treated for cancer but apparently it was a very
casual conversation.

Do a Google search on this newsgroup and find Laurel (Juniper) she's got a
great prostate cancer poster you can download that she created. Email her!
Have Paul take it to work and stick it up in the break room! I've lost her
email addy (when I crashed my email software a couple of weeks ago - don't
ask, I did it to myself!) or I'd give it to you. Paul can take this
situation and turn it into something positive even if it means that one
co-worker or the spouse of the co-worker gets a PSA test!

The anesthesiologist is going to be standing right there by Paul's head the
entire time! The job of the anesthesiologist is to "breathe" for him while
he "out". The surgeon might be in some little booth off to the side but not
the anesthesiologist. That's who will keep Paul alive through the whole
procedure!

Don't forget the list that Joe posts about once a month. It's filled with
all sorts of wonderful tips and ideas to help after surgery.

Paul is going to do just fine because he's got the one thing that will help
the most - a loving supportive wife. As hard as the road back is going to
be - he's got you right there with him the entire way!  And yes, some guys
are totally continent when the cath is removed. And a few of the guys never
have problems with erections. So cross your fingers and hope for the best -
you'll face whatever happens together.
Bev

Those are out of your hands until after the surgery, so try to stop
worrying about them. Post-op ya play the cards as dealt, with many options.

A dab of cologne under his nose may help, if he notices the smell at
all. Or he could just change and leave the room quickly. If anyone ELSE
notices the smell, GUESS WHOSE PROBLEM THAT IS. ;-) But considering the
variety of smells in bathrooms, I doubt anyone's going to notice. If
hordes of people run screaming out of the men's room, think "zip-lock
plastic bags".

I was retired before getting my PC, but I still went anywhere I wanted.
The only concession I made after feeling better and getting the catheter
out was not flying across the country on an optional trip 3-4 weeks
post-op. Certainly office life will be easier after he switches from
diapers to pads -- pads are simple to conceal and to change anywhere --
but even big, full diapers are manageable with some preparation such as
plastic bags and the right attitude (e.g., "I've got cancer; get over it.")

Please explain. The gas-passer generally RULES in an OR.

The chances of that run about one in 250,000 these days, and there's not
a thing you can do about it.

The cat's out of the bag now, and ain't going back in. Get over it and
save your energy for things you CAN change.

The boss is an idiot, a jerk, and probably a criminal. You can sue,
switch jobs, blackmail him, and/or fuhgheddaboutit; your call. I'd never
trust him with ANYTHING again, and I'd get the courts to get in his face
and make it crystal clear what will happen next time he breaks privacy
laws, and/or I'd find a better boss.

Crybabies? . . . or just two employees who think the world of your
husband? The first isn't his problem, the latter is a compliment.

Beats having people wonder why he acts so strangely in the bathroom and
occasionally smells like the cat's box.

I'd guess getting out of a bed is far easier than getting out of a
recliner after abs surgery. The recliner requires doing a sit-up with
sore abs; a bed lets him choose which muscles he wants to use by
choosing whether to face upwards, downwards, or sideways when getting in
or out of bed. He'll figure it all out, and it's no big deal; if it
hurts too much, that's what the little pills are for. He'll be
self-reliant by the time he gets home and off the pills within days.

You've done all you can for now, so enjoy the trip and the 10 days off.
With any luck, he'll have many more surgeries in his lifespan; an RP --
even the open variety -- and its recovery are not a big deal as
surgeries go, from the patient's perspective. The real issue is the SEs,
 about which time will tell and worrying will not help.

I.P.

Hi Lisa and Paul.

Don't sweat the fact that people at work know. Be thankful, as I am
sure most of them are, that your PC was caught early. I told my direct
employees, and explained very clearly to them that the probability of a
positive outcome was very high.
It was, and I got great support from those around me at work, home and
socially..

As you will recall, my surgery was Late June, robotic, and uneventful.
With regards to incontinence, the depends pants worked for me, and they
hold quite a bit of fluid, without odour. I graduated from the depends
pants to pads after about 8 weeks.. economics and fluids permitting.
Tip.. the depends guards are a pain in the a.s (literally), but if you
wear a jock strap to hold them in position, they are more comfortable,
and have better leakage protection.. I think the incontinence solution
is Kegels, and being in shape before the surgery..

The recliner is a great idea, go wireless and keep in touch..
There have been many tips on line, but one I have not seen, is how to
get out of bed easily in the early stages. Paul will be up and around
next day, but will be a little sore, especially when trying to get out
of bed.. easiest way I found was simply to roll on side with knees up
as though in sitting position, grab behind knee with upper hand, and
let the weight of the legs dropping  pull your upper body up.. no
stress on stomach muscles.. Practice before surgery..

I carried a spare depends or pad with me in a small camera pouch..
handy and inconspicuous.. beleive me, people don't notice or care about
those things, they are thankful you are back to work, healthy. The only
time Paul will notice any odour is when he pulls down the depends or
guards to have a wiz, warm moist air rises given the opportunity, but
the odour is conatined by the tight fit of the depends.. I was quite
amazed myself.

Stay positive, and it will all be behind you before you know it.. 16
weeks post op and I can't think of anything to complain about, and ED
will give you a chance to explore alternatives that only your
imagination can limit.

Grateful and Thankful to All

Cliff

Thank you everyone for all of your wonderful feedback.  This is such a
great place to be able to come to and get first hand experience of
those of you who have already gone through the surgery...Thank you,
Thank you.  It really is a comfort.

Lisa