You're not alone, "Doc". My sex life began to wane a decade ago, in my
early 50s, as my erections and my wife's interest in sex became less
consistent. We never did have an active oral sex life and can't have
intercourse now, and we have never been able to cuddle in bed as we
sleep because she has always kicked, clawed, punched, ground her teeth,
and all but shouted her way through the night. Meds and CPAP have helped
her lately, but I now do fine solo, and have offered to buy my wife of
37 years some battery-powered toys. FORTUNATELY, my sports have always
been better than sex anyway, at least over the long run. Sex lasts only
an hour or two (yeah . . . RIGHT!), but sports take all day.

I.P.

I had LRP four years ago, Doc.... and I have not had results as good as you
describe.  With injections, I can get an erection.... otherwise, no.
There are times when that part is really tough to deal with..... but most of
the time, I'm happy to be on this side of the dirt!

Take care!
MikeH

...

...

That's my cue.

I'm at 2 years post Rad.

Without Vitamin-V, I manage to be slightly better than "stuffable".
That's definitely NOT rock hard and very bendable but still capable of
penetration.  That's the good news.

The bad news is that, again, I only lasted about 2 minutes before
having an orgasm and going completely limp.   I'd rate the orgasm at an
7 on a scale of 1 to 10.  This has been the pattern for the last
several months.   I'm hoping that as I recover, I'll last longer and
get harder.

I am aware that sometimes, because of age or long term radiation
damage, that the ED will get worse.

I did a lot of tongue and finger actitivity, about 20 minutes, before
"giving it a go" myself so the overall experience was a positive one
for both of us.

-kh

 Doesn't the above really say it all?

I don't know your specific situation, but as a couple we share some of
the problems you describe, except we are ten years further on.   My wife
also has physical ailments which would make sex non-spontaneous even if
I didn't use Viagra.  Neither of us is as attractive as we were when we
were young or even middle aged.  Yet we manage to have a satisfying sex
life.

Perhaps you should seek some counseling as a couple.   You might be
surprised as what might happen.

I don't remember you, Doc.  But, I'm happy to here your kicking the
bastard's a.s.

Doc--

You are not alone.  Everybody in a monogamous relationship has this
problem.  After a while your partner begins to look like an old couch,
comfortable but not very appealing.

The problem here is biology.  I once read that men need Novelty in
order to remain sexually interested.   So I suggested that  my husband
order an instructional sex video to see if there was anything we had
overlooked.  I always see these tapes advertised in the ny times book
review.  They are intended for a more mature audience and have titles
like "frisky in your forties""frolicking in your fifties", "Sexy in
your sixties" or whatever. The message is: it's never too late.

II can't say I learned anything, but J. really liked the movie.  Once
he spent all night watching it.  Finally, I asked him: Don't you ever
get tired of that thing?"  He replied, "Oh, you have the wrong idea.
I'm just watching it to see it it's something that you might like"

 I have to say that before we had automatic sex with injections this
adult material served us very well in emergencies.

Maybe you guys should all go to Saudi Arabia where polygamy is common.
I read that bin laden's father had about 80? wives.  The problem is
Islam doesn't allow you to have more than 4 wives at a time.  So Pop
would marry 4 women, divorce them, marrry annother 4 and so on..  Maybe
that's why osama is so screwed up.

The only thing I can think of is this: After my husband's rlrp we did
almost nothing for about 10 mos. so I finally broke down and bought a
sex toy, as someone had suggested.  I''d never done anything like this
before so I came out of the store sweating buckets I was so embarrased.

I tried it out and it did nothing for me so I was really upset.  It
cost about $50 and you know, it's not returnable.  I bought this model
bec  it was mentioned on a tv show.

Anyway, I had the inspiration to try it on my husband and he just loved
it.  It has about seven different "modes" so you don't get bored.  When
J. uses it he often has an orgasm without too much difficulty.

This product is called the "Power Princess" and my only regret is that
it doesn't come in blue.  It just looks funny to see a grown man
holding a PINK toy.

BTW, for all you ladies, I came across a "talking dildo"  I was dying
of curiosity about what the d. said but it was very expensive so i
never found out. Later on i told my husband about this product and we
speculated out loud about  the the dildo's volcabulary.  I thought for
a moment and said, I've got it:   it says, "can we please talk later."

I hope things work out for you.  I remember what somebody one told me:
It doesn't pay to cheat on your spouse because you will REGRET it
later.  I don't know.

All the best.

Leah