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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Prostate Cancer / May 2006hormone therapy and no libido
I am experiencing a lack of libido due to the hormone therapy. My life is empty without a mate but yet I cannot find a way to get to the point of looking for one. A gay man is nothing without his erection for another, and my weight gain from the hormones is very bad. Who is experiencing this same feeling? have you had prostatectomy or are just on therapy because of high PSA? colophony >I am experiencing a lack of libido due to the hormone therapy. My life > is empty without a mate but yet I cannot find a way to get to the point > of looking for one. A gay man is nothing without his erection for > another, and my weight gain from the hormones is very bad. Who is > experiencing this same feeling? What does "Troll" mean in newsgroups? I thought troll when I read this, although I was thinking of it in the sense of trolling for fish. But I realized that there is a NG term, and wondered what that meant. > What does "Troll" mean in newsgroups? I thought troll when I read > this, although I was thinking of it in the sense of trolling for fish. > But I realized that there is a NG term, and wondered what that meant. Widely used on IRC, UseNet, and email lists to describe a person whose posts are inappropriate, off-topic, blatantly offensive, or just plain twittish and indicative of their underevolved state. Also used as a verb to indicate the act of posting such drivel. On IRC the term usually refers more specifically to an HNG who thinks every channel is a pickup bar, posting a/s/l queries and the like. The users here have always been very accommodating to homosexual men with prostate cancer. Hopefully, if he fills that bill, he is here to discuss it.  SignaturePSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3cN0M0 Neg margins PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32 Lupron 07/03 (1 mo) 8/03 (4 mo), 12/03, 4/04, 09/04, 01/05, 5/05, 10/05, 2/06 PSA .07 .05 .06 .09 .08 .132 Non Illegitimi Carborundum Steve, I thank and praise you for you honesty with my post. It has been difficult to find prostate support groups exclusively for gay men. My adventure was done totally alone, with the exception of my twin (Str8) brother. I went to all of my doctors alone. I did my job at work, found time to put it out of my head. Flew to Johns Hopkins then home to recover with my family. That said, I had to do the lubpron implant, went through my menopausal mess, started loosing the libido, but my hair grew back on my head! my twin is proud of me. body hair is leaving, and the ability to gain weight is amazing. To make myself laugh I have titled myself a lesbian, just because I can wear hats, and I have started going to local high school baseball, soccer, and lacrosse matches for free entertainment. of course still doing this alone. As partnership seems like another life to me. But, I am alive, my PSA is zero. Still it is tough being without libido, but still findin the desire for companionship. I guess my road is similiar to str8 men but most are with wives and families. While mine is with only a few friends to support me. I just needed to write it out and see what any one said. Maybe some of the people here will not refer to me as the TROLL. IN CANCER WE ARE ALL ONE FAMILY OF LOVE AND SUPPORT TO HELP OTHERS DEAL. PEACE > Steve, I thank and praise you for you honesty with my post. It has > been difficult to find prostate support groups exclusively for gay men. You are welcome, and here is some more. If you limit yourself to mutually exclusive support groups, you are, by definition, critically reducing the sum knowledge (actually, synergistic or exponential knowledge) of that which is available to you in a non-exclusive group. We have Christians and athiests, Americans and Australians, whites and blacks, gays and straights, and nearly every occupation represented. Those things are what makes us different from each other and therefore do not focus on them (usually). We all have prostate cancer and, as long as we focus on THAT bastard, we all get along -- even with the French and lawyers! Of course, none of us like Nigerians, but that's just common sense. ;-) So, if you have issues with handling this alone with only family to rely on, just say so. Dave481 might have some advise or empathy. If you are struggling with libido, tens of people here can help. If you have no SO or insufficient support from your SO, we're here for you. Weight gain? I'm your huckleberry! Bald? Me too. Hate Lupron? With a vengance, but it's keeping you and me alive (we think). I promise you that if you couch your needs and issues in common terms and do not dwell on how everything is somehow different for you, the support will be here and ideas of trollism will disappear rapidly. SignaturePSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3cN0M0 Neg margins PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32 Lupron 07/03 (1 mo) 8/03 (4 mo), 12/03, 4/04, 09/04, 01/05, 5/05, 10/05, 2/06 PSA .07 .05 .06 .09 .08 .132 Non Illegitimi Carborundum > get along -- even with the French and lawyers! Of course, none of us like > Nigerians, but that's just common sense. ;-) Well, its not *all* Nigerians. It is the ones who are 2nd assistants to bank directors, or first assistants to an ex-dictator, who has left millions in their control. Just jealosy on our part, I suppose... >>>have you had prostatectomy or are just on therapy because of high PSA<< The NG didn't get a real clear answer to this one. >>My adventure was done totally alone, with the exception of my twin (Str8) brother. I went to all of my doctors alone. I did my job at work, found time to put it out of my head. Flew to Johns Hopkins then home to recover with my family. That said, I had to do the lubpron implant, went through my menopausal mess, started loosing the libido, but my hair grew back on my head! my twin << Are you just "male pattern baldness"? Or did some cancer treatment make your hair fall out? So, if you have issues with handling this alone with only family to rely on, just say so. Dave481 might have some advise or empathy. If you are struggling with libido. Clay, I'm straight but have some gay friends, we don't discuss it. However, if one of them were sick I'd still be their friend. I've received calls and cards from all of them that I KNOW are gay and maybe some that are and I don't know it. Point is, I had a lot of friends before I got PC and even more afterwards. I have female friends I slept with before PC. Sometimes with sex and sometimes not. I've slept with two since my own RP in March. No sex, just holding each other, laughing, kissing and talking. Don't gay people do this? If not, I am really sad for you. Most of the gay people I know personally are VERY compassionate, maybe more so than straights. I may cause a stir, but I leave out lesbians here, on average, because I've met so many that HATE men. Gay men, as I've seen it ( and I'm way out of school here) don't hate anybody. Maybe the feminine nurturing gene caused the whole situation, the good and the bad. I'll be honest here, I'm not politically correct, anybody and I ANYBODY might be a target for my warped sense of humor. The members on this NG know this and seem to accept me anyway. I am very suspicious of your intent here, as was the post asking about TROLLS. You came across as one on your first post. You are welcome here if you are ONE OF US. Not gay, not straight, not married, married, an orphan, wetback, black, ringtail(thanks IP loved that one!) red, yellow, purple or white, democrat, repu blican, libertarian, independent.....just as long as YOU ARE A PROSTATE CANCER VICTIM. That means your mate may have it, your brother, father, cousin, of YOU. But you got to tell us what's going on. As far as having only family, no friends, as I've stated," where were they BEFORE you got sick?" If you didn't have any, it'll be hard to find any, because having evidently isn't your forte. If you did, and they cut and ran, you need to assess the type you choose to call friends. This may have been a rude post, but that'sw MY mood today. Maybe tomorrow I'll be sweet, I don't know. One thing I would bet on though, I'll bet this NG will be here, giving commpassion, advise and support no matter my mood. David > My adventure was done totally alone, with the exception of my twin > (Str8) brother. I went to all of my doctors alone. I did my job at Clay, Have you ever asked yourself why you don't have friends? Is it true, what you are indicating, that you don't have friends, only sexual partners? laurel > What does "Troll" mean in newsgroups? I thought troll when I read > this, although I was thinking of it in the sense of trolling for fish. > But I realized that there is a NG term, and wondered what that meant. The meanings are identical, just the target changes. One wants fish, the other wants titillating responses. Heck, even the bait is he same in this case: a worm. I.P. Every man who has been put on hormone therapy. Bev > I am experiencing a lack of libido due to the hormone therapy. My life > is empty without a mate but yet I cannot find a way to get to the point > of looking for one. A gay man is nothing without his erection for > another, and my weight gain from the hormones is very bad. Who is > experiencing this same feeling? I'm not EVEN gonna post on this one. There are many things crossed my mind. After I quit laughing at my own wit, I decided to say nothing. Just thought I'd let ya'll know. It ain't funny so I'm not going to laugh or be accused of making anyone else laugh. clayslinger, do you collect baseball cards? Dave Dave, Change your nickname to "RAM-er" or "Router" or something, just to prove to us that you are a sexy guy? Can you let him get away with a name like his without one-upping? Maybe crackmaster. No, not gender-specific enough. (Well, neither is claymaster, maybe crackmaster *would* be ok.) How about bushmaster? laurel > I'm not EVEN gonna post on this one. There are many things crossed my > mind. After I quit laughing at my own wit, I decided to say nothing. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Dave > How about bushmaster? < Well, I don't kiss often and tell.....but I do like bushmaster.....LOL > > How about bushmaster? < > Well, I don't kiss often and tell.....but I do like bushmaster.....LOL You KISS it? ok, ok, i apologise to everyone in advance. uh-huh > Dave, > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > gender-specific enough. (Well, neither is claymaster, maybe > crackmaster *would* be ok.) How about bushmaster? Er.... uh.... maybe his name is Charles L. Ayslinger. Or some other C.L. There are some Ayslingers in Kentucky, ergo, probably throughout the U.S. and Europe. > Dave, > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > crackmaster *would* be ok.) How about bushmaster? > In the spirit of helpfulness ;-) I'll report that there are two well-known Bushmasters: (1) A firearms dealer in Maine, and (2) A pit viper described on encyclopedia.com (no, not Wikipedia) as, "large venomous snake (Lachesis muta) of Central America and N South America. It is a member of the pit viper family, which also includes the rattlesnake. The largest New World snake, it reaches a length of 8 to 12 ft (2.5-5.5 m). It is gray and brown, with a diamond pattern. Unlike most pit vipers, which bear live young, the bushmaster lays eggs. It is classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Reptilia, order Squamata, family Crotalidae." Certainly more than *I* wanted to know.... And seriously, "clayslinger" (a potter, perhaps?) is simply going to have to accommodate himself to a fundamental change in his life. We all have done it, so can he. Regards, Steve J "The thing is to expect nothing in particular, but (to) be aware of the lack of enforceable guarantees or enforceable contracts with nature/god/entropy as to the condition or durability of our bodies." -- Brian Brunner, PCa survivor, December 12, 2005 on The Prostate Problems Mailing List Thank you, Brian. > In the spirit of helpfulness ;-) I'll report that there are two well-known > Bushmasters: [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Reptilia, > order Squamata, family Crotalidae." (3) An AR-15 cut down so far it can no longer be called a rifle. >I am experiencing a lack of libido due to the hormone therapy. My life > is empty without a mate but yet I cannot find a way to get to the point > of looking for one. A gay man is nothing without his erection for > another, and my weight gain from the hormones is very bad. Who is > experiencing this same feeling? The loss of libido is common and, as I understand it, unavoidable. Sex may still be possible, but it's hard work. When I was on Lupron I attempted to have sex a number of times. I started with no enthusiasm at all, just doing my best to satisfy my wife. However, to my surprise, I found that as she became more aroused, so did I. It may work for you too once you get past the lack of desire to get started. Weight gain has to be fought in the same way as when you are not on HT, i.e., diet and exercise. It's harder to control, but it's still controllable. I found a significant loss of energy on HT and found exercise to be a very helpful antidote to that too. Finally, although HT takes much away, much remains. Our love of friendship and family, our interest in books, music, movies, or whatever interested us most before, all remains. For a man with a strong libido, losing it is a big change. But we need to look around and find all the other meaningful things in life that still _are_ interesting to us. There's a great deal to live for and enjoy. The love of life is very far from over. Good luck. Alan > I am experiencing a lack of libido due to the hormone therapy. My life > is empty without a mate but yet I cannot find a way to get to the point > of looking for one. A ...man is nothing without his erection for > another, Every man who has RP or hormone therapy or these SEs of RT, has to deal with this challenging issue. I shall reply to myself here. I have been working on my focus and sometimes I rant rather than vent about my condition. I was not totally alone during my adventure, but rather my stupid humility got in the way was embarrassed to be sick with cancer. My stubborness let me sit at home and have my pity party too. Since that time of surgery and radiation I have had to keep on pushing myself to do things that help me be a stronger person. I am immersed at work but now I am off for the summer. The weight gain has been my lack of addressing it. My moods are better as my doc just got me on new meds for the moods swings. I do have friends but would like to live out my life with a partner who is there by my side or at least in the next room. This is the rub for a smaller area of my town and surrounding areas. My faith is booming with GOD and I am grateful for his love. I thank all who have written to me, as yes I am blessed but sometimes I write when I should have been focusing on myself instead. Maybe focusing on yourself is the last thing that you need to be doing. Maybe what you need to do is get out there and focus on spreading the word about PC. Is there a man2man (a prostate cancer) group in your area? Or could you volunteer with the American Cancer Society. What you might find is that you will make some new friends and can help many men along the way. Summer also means fresh food from the fields and gardens - take advantage of them. Take a walk each morning or maybe shoot a few hoops at the park; it will help your mood and will burn off some extra calories. I think everyone wants that special someone in their life. Unfortunately not everyone finds that someone or they think they did, only to find out years later they didn't. So shake off the pity party, you're alive and fighting a battle for your life, take the time to smell the roses and enjoy each day. Do something positive with yourself this summer. Bev > I shall reply to myself here. I have been working on my focus and > sometimes I rant rather than vent about my condition. I was not [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > I thank all who have written to me, as yes I am blessed but sometimes I > write when I should have been focusing on myself instead. > I am experiencing a lack of libido due to the hormone therapy. My life > is empty without a mate but yet I cannot find a way to get to the point > of looking for one. A gay man is nothing without his erection for > another, and my weight gain from the hormones is very bad. Who is > experiencing this same feeling? I'm not sure what this is all about. Are you permanently on hormones? If not, then you'll bounce back a couple months after they stop the treatment. Things were pretty, er, limp around here for about a year. As for the weight gain, that's really up to you. Change your diet a little and get some exercise. The weight will drop off fast. The Lupron gave me a bunch of side effects but I rode it out. Get up and take a walk, then climb some stairs. Can't help you with the rest of it though. Quick update. Rad-grad, IMRT and Paladium-103 seeds, class of Sept 2004. Now with regular erections unaided by Vitamin-V but with about 80% the stiffness. That's with direct stimulation to the shaft and heavy visualization. I can't figure out why one form of stimulation by itself doesn't produce results. My overall libido is off and my duration is 3, maybe 4 minutes, a disappointingly short performance. PSA hasn't nadired. In fact it's trending up, 1.0, 1.2, 2.2 at 3 month intervals. Next one is due in a month. That'll be the 21 month check up. Hoping it's "the bounce".
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