It's been three years since I was diagnosed.  Some of you newer users might
be interested in how it has affected my life.

Introduction:    I was, at the time of my diagnosis, an overweight but
active 46-year-old American male with no medical history other than one bout
of Diverticulitis.  I never went to the doctor.  During October 2000, I
decided to get an overhaul:  skin tags, optometrist, dentist, podiatrist,
and PSA.  My PSA came back 16 and biopsy came back G7, T2c.

Marriage:    My marriage was not all that great before.  PCa didn't help.
But Roman Catholicism prevents consideration of anything but continued
status quo.  So, we stay together.  In reality, even if I could leave, I
would not.  She suffers from depression and I take care of her.  It's as
simple as that.

Sex:    She doesn't believe in anything but the Missionary Position.  I
haven't bothered to look for a woman who enjoys an adulterous,
completely-oral relationship.  In May, I actually experienced an erection
sufficient for intercourse.  But, now I'm on Lupron, so even that is a
memory.

Depression:    I sometimes got depressed, but I think I'm over it.

Wife:    My wife's depression has gotten much worse.  She has a father that
has Alzheimer's, a sister suffering from Borderline Disorder, another sister
suffering from radiation-induced dementia, a mother suffering from 50 years
of sitting on her butt watching T.V., and three children who left the nest
in the three years surrounding my PCa.  So, PCa is not her only stressor.
But the prospect of having a husband who may not make it to 55 weighs very
heavily on her.  She has since retired (psych) from the job she worked since
she was 19.

Family:    My kids and mother have been on a roller coaster since 2000.  My
wife's husband died of PCa and two of my children remember their grandfather
and his death.  I tried very hard to keep them from going through what I
went through when my father died, but it seems that idea was never really a
practical one.  We have a close family and my aunts, uncle, and a few
cousins call or email a few times a year to see how I am doing.

Work:    I love my work and I'm good at it.  I went back to work 6 weeks
after RRP and haven't taken off a day sick since.  When I had EBRT, I left
work at 9 a.m. and returned before 10:30 a.m. usually.  I have worked more
hours each years since the RRP than at any other time in my career.  The
people at work ask me occasionally, but usually it's a non-issue.

Fear:    Off and on.  What can I say?  I think I would qualify as a "brave"
by most scales, but I do get scared now and then.  It bothers me sometimes
that I might not be here for my grandchildren or to attend retired men's
association parties, etc.  But, living too long bothers me too.

Strength:  I was a Hoss.  One of my bosses nicknamed me "Ultimate Warrior"
many years ago.  I've lost some of that.  I can walk for several miles
without a problem.  But, I find I can't lift and carry what I used to
without getting fatigued.  I don't mean the rear of a car like I used to.  I
just mean a triple dresser or slate from a pool table.  But, I do what I
can.

Mental Acuity:    I'm a right smart guy with an exceptionally high IQ.  But,
I cannot, for the life of me, remember all the words I want to use in many
of my conversations.  I used to rattle off phone numbers like and Idiot
Savant.  But not any more.  I think that's the Lupron.  But, it could be cuz
I'm 49.  I also find that I get a little looped after 3 or 4 beers.  I never
got looped with less than 6 or 7 before.

In summary, I have a potentially terminal disease, but other than sex, it
hasn't been all that devastating.