I am not a doctor and my opinion is purely based on a layman's
reading of material available on the web.  Your father's doctors
know much more than I do.  However, since they have not been
giving you information, I will try to offer some thoughts about
what is happening to your father.

It looks like your father will die of prostate cancer.  How long
it takes varies from person to person.  An article about survival
of men in stage D3 (hormone refractory with distant metastases)
can be found at:

http://www.asco.org/ac/1,1003,_12-002636-00_18-0010-00_19-00732,00.asp

I'm not sure how to interpret the numbers presented in that
article, but they appear to indicate survival times of less than
6 months, up to about 2.5 years, depending on the patient.

If the treatment your father received was bisphosphonate
pamidronate, I don't think that will help him live longer.  It
may however help reduce his bone pain.  There are chemotherapy
agents that help some men live longer, but not much longer.  The
effects are usually just a few months, and not all men benefit
from them.  The chemotherapy agents often have painful side
effects.

Unfortunately, the cancer will become extremely painful.  It may
progress from having some movements being painful, to all
movements being painful, and finally to continuous pain even
when the patient is not moving.

There are treatments that can help with the pain.  Sometimes
doctors will radiate the area where pain is high.  That can
sometimes reduce the pain in that area.  Another option is to
use pain killing drugs such as opiates, oxycontin, and others.
If you can find a doctor who is skilled in pain management, he
can help your father live the rest of his life much more happily.
Some doctors are very skilled at fighting pain and they can make
a big difference in your father's life.

Your father's doctor knows much more about his condition than I
do and can give you more information if he is willing to talk
about it.  Many doctors think they are being merciful by not
telling patients or their families what will happen to them.  I
suggest that you explain to the doctor that knowing the truth
will enable you to plan your father's care more effectively and
make him more comfortable.  Tell him that you have read
information indicating that your father does not have long to
live and that he will experience great pain.  Tell him that you
understand that and will be easier for you and your family if
they can hear expert information about his real condition.  Maybe
you can get the doctor to tell you everything he knows.

I am sorry that this is happening.  I hope that you and your
family will be able to have good times with your father in the
time remaining to him.  Maybe you can get him to talk about his
life, his parents and grandparents, and other things that nobody
knows but him.  Maybe you can write these down for the family, or
record them on audio or video tape.

My best wishes to your father, to you, and to the rest of your
family.

   Alan

Hello,
I'm sorry to hear about your father.
Nothing "alternative" will help him. Your father needs to be seen by a radiation
oncologist.
To have radiation therapy to the areas that hurt the most, on an "as required"
basis.
As well, his pain needs to be managed with pain medications and/or patches, as
required.
I'm sorry he's in denial; acceptance is so important so he can get on with
quality of life issues and making plans for his end of life care, his funeral
arrangements and for any family he will be leaving behind. All of you need good
support resources, during this difficult time.

Sometimes advanced cancers can spread to the brain or the cancer progressing can
affect the brain and cause physical (arm, leg, eye, phycological, mood) or
neurological defects, where the brain does not work properly. Again, this
requires expert monitoring and management.

We have several medics on alt.support.cancer so if you have specific questions,
as things progress, come on over and ask.
Meantime, please look into the radiation therapy and pain menagement with his
doctor.
J

Gioia,

I am terribly sorry to hear about your father.  I am not familiar with the
names of the medications that your father has received, but in the United
States, he would probably be treated with chemotherapy and given serious
pain medication to take home with him.

Once prostate cancer gets out of the prostate, there is no cure.  Hormone
treatment may stave off the cancer for awhile, usually two or more years,
sometimes many more years.  However, once he went refractive, his only
choice was toxic chemicals that go as far as it can to kill cancer without
killing the patient.  But, again, it is a temporary fix.

Now for the dreaded truth:  With mets on his bones, he will be in serious
pain and, later, tremendous pain.  The only way to prevent the pain will be
to provide him pain medication that will alleviate the pain and make him
sleep most of the time.  Soon, the cancer will go to organs, usually the
liver first, sometimes lungs, and brain.  But, it is the bone pain, as I
understand it, that is most of what he will feel.

I know what you are going through.  My father died this way when he was 50
years old.  Feel free to continue to discuss this with us as the disease
progresses.

Gloia,

In all probability your father will die of prostate cancer. Death from
prostate cancer CAN be extremely painful BUT, it doesn't have to be!
Pain meds are available and, given in sufficient dosage, any pain can
be managed.

There is an issue from the "ethical" viewpoint. "Overdosage" of the
most effective pain meds can, and most likely will, accelerate the
death process. Some medical professionals may shy from such dosages
because they consider their job is to extend life as much as possible.
My point is that there should be no such thing as an "overdosage" when
managing pain in the death process . There is no reason that a patient
who has to face certain death needs to experience ANY pain. Get the
right Doctor, one who will assure pain relief for your father no matter
what. Then gather as a family and together understand death for what it
is, just another step, one we all will eventually take and one that can
be full of love and promise.

Another thing.  My father-in-law was diagnosed in 1991 with a PSA of
565.  He also had hormone therapy.  He died in 1998.  It was only the
last few months or so that he began to fail badly.  He went into a coma
the last few days, and died in his sleep.  This does not mean your
father will have the same experience at all.  I am only telling you
what we experienced because you want real information.  It will be very
important to find out how to get him adequate pain medications.  You
may email me personally if you like.