Hell, yes!!! I've done all I can or will do about my cancer for now, and
life is good ... for now ... for me. We'll see how I hold up if and when I
actually get SICK. But, then, I've known for 50 years (I'm 62) that SOME day
I'd get sick, and maybe I'd even die some day. I didn't worry much about it
those 50 years, and every year I live my expected lifetime increases (well,
PC does sort of change the statistics), so why start worrying now?

At the beach, where I spend maybe 90-100 days a year, there's always a
bathroom or Porta Poote (or my motor home) around, and I'm changing DIAPERS,
not just pads. With pads and no nearby cover, I'd just turn my back and ...
slap, slap, I'm done. And if I'm in a swim suit, I leak (diapers and
swimming don't mix). Can't do anything about it other than joke, avoid khaki
swim suits, and spill my pop in my lap when necessary. In the urban or
suburban worlds, I always have a spare diaper nearby somewhere. Life goes
on; the rest is details.

I.P.

It should be some consolation that if you are in pads already, you are ahead
of most people here.  I, for instance, wore diapers for six weeks before
graduating to pads (RRP 12/15, Catheter removed 1/2, Pads 2/26).  I was then
on pads for another 6 months before I was sure I was dry.

There are far too many criteria to consider in answering that question.
Some major ones probably are your belief system; whether you have been a
controlling person, power broker, or follower; a proud swordsman; have
family, children and/or grandchildren, and possibly one or two more.  There
are so many combinations, permutations and continuums that affect your
ability to say, "well, I have now stepped into this part of my life and it
means I am closer to the end than I realized yesterday."

I carry a soft brief case.  I had a zipped pocket full of them.  I'd shove
one in my pocket, go from my office to the restroom stall and change.  The
trick is to get the old one buried in the trash without notice.

You will find that everyone here went through the same range of emotions
that you are going through.  While it may seem that we could give a damn,
the fact is most of us came here because of our various concerns.

Yup, support groups are great.  Some here went to psychologists and
psychiatrists.  Just get whtever level level of help you feel necessary.
Impotence, incontinence and death are hoary subjects with which to contend.

Now that's a problem.  I have never figured out how, except at the turn.
Occasionally, that has not been often enough.  So, I don't dring coffee
before golfing and I don't drink beer while golfing.  If I remember not to
dring those beverages, I usually make out okay.

However, I think you have little reason to concern yourself with golf.  If
you are using pads already in January, unless you live in the south, you'll
be virtually dry by golfing season.

Doubleowse,
I saw saw a psychiatrist several times between diagnosis and surgery.
That was time very well spent! I was freaked out about the post-op
impotence and incontinence issues. I couldn't sleep more than 4 hours
at night because of the worry. He was very ,very helpful. Why suffer
more than necessary?

I went back to work day 6 with a leg bag. Cath out day 7, and totally
incontinent for a few days after that. People at work were very
understanding. I carried my stuff in a soft sided nylon brief case.  I
made trips to the bathroom as necessary. There is no smell if you
change regularly. One way I got rid of some of the worry, was I asked
several people I work closely with, to please tell me if they detected
the faintest wiff of urine smell. I brought extra clothes too, but
never needed them.

Better times are probably ahead. Fight back!
Steve U

At 2 days post-catheter I went through 6 to 8 pads so you're far ahead of
me.  From that point it improves rapidly before levling off -- hopefully at
zero pads : )

Re golf, you've got to know where every restroom or Porta John is located.
I found it best to wear a full Depends with a liner. I'd replace the liner
every few holes. The Depends' job was to catch any overflow.   Last summer I
changed the line every 7 holes which I thought was quite an improvement.

Hang in there. You're plumbing has taken a beating and has not yet recovery
from the trauma. When the swelling goes down and the healing is complete,
you'll have a better idea what to expect.

I had concerns about pads similar to yours when I had my LRP on July
15, 2003.  Spouse and I scheduled a vacation to Italy in September
thinking I would be more or less "dry" by then and of course I wasn't -
still 5/6 pads per day after two months.  We filled our suitcases with
pads, I got an aisle seat, I wore black pants the entire time, I
"inspected" at every opportunity during the trip, and all went well.
It was the only time we ever came home with bags emptier than when we
left :)  You'll do fine with the pads if you need them and if you can't
go 9 holes or any other activity on one you can always "double dip" by
using a pad inside a diaper.  Two and a half years out I still drip,
using on average one pad per day.  It's not a big deal for me, it's no
more an issue than brushing my teeth or combing my hair.  I just put on
a pad and go.  I do carry an extra around in my pocket at all times and
I have a few more in the car.  My only problem is that crotch-sniffing
dogs seem to find me first though.  Whatever turns them on.

Anyway, statistically you should be dry as a bone in a couple of
months.  If not, the pads need not be a big issue.  Good luck with your
recovery.
Dave Perry

Studies show that half of RP patients are continent by three months and
almost all by one year.  Where you will fit in that range is anyone's
guess.  But it is still very early, and you should just relax as much as
possible and try to stop worrying.  Meanwhile you can try Kegel exercises.

I was fortunately in that I took 6 full weeks off before returning to work.
I was also very diligent in exercising my kegels so that by the time I did
get back to work, I was only going through 2 pads per day.  It took me 3
months to be pad free - however, I still (18 months post RRP) keep a fresh
pair of underwear and a pad in the car - just in case.  You will find that
as time progresses, you will improve.  Oh, and walking helps....

Sandy K.

On Wed, 04 Jan 2006 23:44:40 -0700, doubleowseven wrote:

Start off being deliberately crazy.  It really helps.

You would be totally astonished how many people will have significant
sympathy for you.  Talk about PCa, talk about RP, talk about
incontinence, and see.

My point: you AREN'T alone.  Most mothers have had continence problems
just after the birth of their 3rd+ child, most other women have had
heart-to-heart talks with mothers who have (had) that problem.  Most women
have mothers themselves, if not then they have aunts and/or
mothers-in-law, this is not unique to anybody here.

Umm... no, not that did me any good.  I've lived inside the "Depression
Ghetto" for years, I've just learned to have a good time vandalizing the
place.  What are the cops going to do?  They're all in my own mind anyway!

 I'm guessing that you are a worrier by nature, and maybe a past therapy
user? If this is the case then by all means go and get counseling. No one
here can ever make you not worry. You had/have cancer. You'll be checking
your PSA for the rest of your life, and possibly driving yourself nuts over
it. Trust me.... no matter how many undetectable PSA's I get after 3 years,
I still get anxious about it, and not much bothers me in general. You did
all you can do, now it's time to move on with your life.

I appreciate everyone's comments and advice.

Is everyone pretty much using the depends men's guards or is there
other pads worth taking a look at. Besides those pads I bought some
diapers, they are also made by depends and are pull on with a wide
stretchy waistband.  I as using them to sleep in and noticed that they
don't seem as absorbent as the pads - last night when I leaked instead
of getting absorbed it trickled down and a little escaped from the leg
opening.