Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be
a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw
it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although
they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -
not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional    
"Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so."
http://community.webtv.net/PALMER_ENT/doc

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil
Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.

His first words after stepping on the moon, "That's one small step for a
man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to Earth and heard by
millions.
But just before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark,
"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival
Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either
the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good
luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions
following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to
Armstrong.

This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil
Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing
baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball, which
landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows.

His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky
shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Sex! You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid
next door walks on the moon!"

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional    
"Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so."
http://community.webtv.net/PALMER_ENT/doc