Curtis,
About a year and a half ago I read someone's post about the glowsticks.
Prior to my seed implants I found some small ones in a bait and tackle shop
and saved them for the appropriate occasion.My wife was in tears of
laughter, calling me a SICK S.O.B.We were both Dx'd w/cancer within a month
of each other, no joke for sure; but a little levity sure as hell helped.

Tom
Hormone Side Effects

In 2003, at age 47, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. The urologist
to whom I was referred by my new doctor recommended several months of
Lupron followed by a radical prostatectomy, which I knew (from searching
the internet) was the correct protocol at the time. In conference with
my wife and I, however, the urologist warned that several months of
Lupron to shrink the tumor might result in side effects, including hot
flashes. He mentioned that, in rare cases, breast growth sometimes
results.

On hearing that estrogen would take over as testosterone faded from my
system, my wife's first question to the doctor was, "Will he finally
enjoy shopping with me at the mall?"

-----------

Wheat grass juice is one answer to keeping cancer at bay. It must be
good. Did you ever hear of a horse having cancer?

Alternate Version

If you can't stand the taste of wheat grass juice, then mix it with
carrot juice. It's better. Ask any rabbit.

a repost ....... but a good one.....

     Radiation Glow

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and
I am currently taking radiation therapy that will be finished on
Nov.26/03.

After my first radiation treatment, I was laying in bed that night. The
children were finally all asleep. my wife and I could, at last, talk
about the day events. We talked about several things, always dancing
around how the radiation treatment had gone.

Finally, she asked how I was feeling. I told her pretty good, but my
skin was a little tender. Carol offered to take a look, pulled the
covers back and gasped -- there was a strange green glow coming out from
under the blankets.

I had taken a "Glow-stick" and hidden it under the covers.

Great trick for anyone getting radiation . .
just make sure your spouse has a good sense of humor.

----------------

When I heard I had prostate cancer, I looked so depressed that a
homeless person gave me a dollar.

----------
Can a cat with cancer be overcome by depression? Not as long as there's
a pit bull in the same house.

-----------

Telephone Tag

A doctor calls a patient to report on a bone scan and biopsy. The
patient is out so the doctor leaves a message to call. As usual, no
medical details are left.

After a day of telephone tag, the doctor and the patient finally get
together on the phone.

Says the doctor in a matter of fact voice,
"I have good news and bad news. Which will you have first?"

"The good news."

"OK. The reports say that your cancer has metastasized all over and that
you have 24 hours to live."

"You call that good news? It must be the bad news. What could possibly
be worse?"

"Well, the bad news is that I tried to call you yesterday."

-------------

The Ups and Downs of Penile Implants
A man became impotent due to removal of his cancerous prostate. His
urologist recommended a penile implant, which can readily pumped up when
an erection is needed.

"You can have a regular grade plastic implant, or a harder one. The
latter gives a better erection, but your penis may be hard to tuck away
when it's not inflated," said the doctor.

"Well, I don't want to be embarrassed in public, so give me the regular
grade."

A few months later he came back to the doctor with a penis all bent out
of shape. "My word," said the doctor, "You must have had a rough time!"

"Yes," said the patient, "After a year of no erections, my partner and I
were as eager as newlyweds. I think I need the harder implant."

Six months later, he returned with a sorrier looking penis. The doctor
exclaims, "Not again! Who is the woman who can do this to you? I've
never seen the likes of it."

The doctor was determined to succeed, so he put in a stainless steel
implant. A year later, he ran into the man at a party and asked him how
the implant was working.

"My love life is fantastic, doc, but I have one problem. I can't get
past the metal detector at the airport.

--------------------

The Hospital of the Future?

A large cancer hospital ran into financial difficulties, so the board
hired a consultant who was known for cutting corners and who claimed
that he could do it without having any negative impact on patient care.

The trick, according to the consultant, was to do away with
"unnecessary" big expenses like salaries. How? He would create several
complex machines that could take over some of the nursing jobs, like
going into the patients' rooms to check on vital signs. A special
machine would be hooked up to each patient and it would convey
temperature, blood pressure, and so forth -- without any nurses needing
to see the person lying in the bed. Periodically a bell would ring in
the room to remind the patient to fill out an electronic form that asked
how he or she were feeling. Only if there were no answer would a nurse
need to go in and check further.

But the consultant's greatest plan was to create a completely automated
radiology department. This was quite important because radiation therapy
is a large part of cancer treatment. So with great skill he designed the
world's first staff-less radiology department. Patients would be wheeled
to the door by low-paid orderlies and placed on a conveyor belt, which
carried them into a large room where the x-ray machine and various other
types of equipment were located.

With precise measurements and the use of elaborate computers the exact
amount of radiation would be given to each patient precisely where it
was needed. In fact, the consultant had thought of everything. He
realized that this would be a new experience for patients and thus
designed an added feature to assure them that they were safe. Therefore,
the last thing the human attendant had to do was to insert a cassette
into a player that was coordinated with each step of the procedure. Then
a gentle, reassuring voice would explain how each part of the process
was designed to work perfectly.
The day the new equipment was installed and the first patient rolled
into the room, everything worked as planned, that is, until the conveyor
belt stopped for a long time just when a patient was directly under the
radiation machine.

This was also just when the voice on the tape said, "Now lie quietly and
still. This new improved system is perfectly safe. Nothing can go wrong
. . go wrong . . . go wrong . . . go wrong . . . go wrong . . . ."

--------------------

At a prostate cancer meeting, we were all asked for the negatives and
positives about having prostate cancer. I said, "Well, I had just
retired when I got prostate cancer and I would say that when you have
prostate cancer, you don't need a hobby!"

-------------

Refusing Treatment

A man with prostate cancer returns to religion with fervor. He knows
that God will help him get better.

Early in his sickness, a surgeon proposes radical surgery.

"No", he says, "I don't want to get mutilated and suffer pain. It's not
necessary, God will help me".

A while later, he sees a radiologist and he proposes radiation to treat
the tumor, which by now is uncomfortably large.

"No", he says, "I don't want radiation burns inside and out. It's not
necessary. God will help me."

A year later, the cancer has metastasized. It's painful and he is
referred to an oncologist. Chemotherapy is advised.

"No", she says, "I don't want to be sick all the time and lose my hair
as well. It's not necessary. God will help me".

Soon after, he dies. He goes to Heaven and demands an audience with God.

"Why didn't you help me?," he whines.

"What do you mean? I sent you help three times: a surgeon, a radiologist
and an oncologist. What more did you want?"

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional
"Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so."
http://community.webtv.net/PALMER_ENT/doc