Test

Point well stated, Ray.....
I, too, remember being very calm going into the surgery for PCa.  I pretty
much kept it to myself.... and was almost *too calm*.  Not sure why, as I'm
not generally a *calm* person... I tend to be more of a catastrophizer!
But this time.... whoa, boy!  It has me really tied in knots.  Don't know
why.  Supposedly, this has been caught very early, while it is very curable.
I guess it's just the idea of a double whammy.  If there are two *cancers*,
will there be a third? a fourth?  Will they just keep having to remove
pieces of me until there is nothing left to remove?

Thanks for posting this.  The reactions, for me, have been very different.

Take care..... MikeH

Just last night my wife made a comment that she was not worried when I was
diagnosed with PCa.  She said somehow she knew it would all turn out okay.
BTW, yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of the RRP.  The catheter came out
August 23rd.  That is the real day to celebrate.  Anyway, back to the point,
I too was not devastated when diagnosed.  There were three people in the
room at the time I was given the results of the biopsy.  The uro, a
resident, and the uro's nurse practitioner.  I think they were taken back by
my lack of reaction.  I have no idea why I took it so well.  Maybe because
it was so serious, i.e., life and death stuff, and not the typical thing
that causes a reaction in daily life.  Not sure how I would feel with a
second hit like that though.

We all hear or read about fights against afflictions, sometimes termed
"heroic", where people have dedicated themselves to beating testicular
cancer and winning a bicycle race or leading a country through WWII while
dying of polio.  And we think, "I wonder what I would do if I got a terrible
disease."  Then, when you get a disease like cancer, you consider whether
you are less a man than those supposed heroes.

But, no one knows how to handle two at a time or two in a row.  We don't
have an example.

I too was calm when I received the news over the phone from my doc.  I
remember a couple of internal "damns" and "oh s--ts" but nothing more.
During the last office visit before surgery, I asked the doctor if
there was anything unique about me that might make his job more
challenging and he said the only unique thing he noticed was how calm I
was about the whole thing.  I think what helped me the most was all the
research I had done even before the biopsy results.  Reading that "most
men die with prostate cancer and not of it" was a major factor.  Had it
been pancreatic cancer, I'm sure my reaction would have been
quite different.  
Dave Perry

My reaction to my concurrent PC and colon cancer dxs matched your reaction
to the PC dx: "Crap; another damned project to take on. When do we get to
relax and do what WE want?" I didn't SHOW any emotions because I FELT no
significant emotions when the urologist, then the colon surgeon, said,
"You've got an aggressive, dangerous cancer requiring prompt treatment."
Life presents challenges, we consult the Serenity Prayer, and we react
accordingly by sidestepping the challenge or hitting it where it hurts.

After all, all we can do is study, inquire, choose, act, pay, and hope we
like the results . . . just like every other important project we take on. I
still resent the hell out of the near-year of hassles and time my cancers
robbed me of, but they're history now except for occasional damp diapers,
extra paperwork in the bathroom, and even greater pointing problems than I
had before I got PC . . . i.e., minor nuisances. Hell, I sometimes put too
much salt in my soup, too, but that, too, is manageable.

Thus I reacted the same to both cancers. They certainly have different
effects and prognoses, but both were still just Projects For The Winter of
2004-5. If one of my cancers returns to kill me before some other damned
threat does the job, I'll resent the hell out of it again. Until then, I'm
getting on with my life at full throttle. I got far more outright ANGRY
about politics than about my cancers, until I recognized that I can't have
NEARLY the impact on politics that I can on my cancers, so I pretty much
ignore politics and politicians . . . until my cancers confine me to this
keyboard, that is. Then watch out, you miscreants!

The REAL question is how I'll react when one of these cancers returns and
actually presents a real, physical, unavoidable impact on the IMPORTANT
aspects of my life, such as my energy level, physical capacity, emotional
stability, pain, or odds of being healthy one year from now. A good friend
had his prostate out years ago and was doing quite well until his pancreas
gave him a 1-3-month death sentence. Now THAT'S something to get upset
about! At least you and I have years to get our affairs in order, and think
of the peace of mind we'll enjoy if we do that and then enjoy another 20
years of health!

Not wanting to attack your level of bowel cancer is irrational. Bowel cancer
can kill more quickly, but it's at least as curable as PC, with even less
SEs in comparable stages, in general. To me that makes bowel cancer even
more worthy than PC of an aggressive approach. Who's ever even suggested
Watchful Waiting with early bowel cancer?

I.P.

I am grateful for the tremendous support and helpful information I have
received in this group. I appear to be in a different position from many of
you who have responded to this thread because my RRP is coming up in a week.
I have not yet passed through the fire. But I would like to share that what
has helped me thus far with the challenge of PCa is my faith. It gives me
the sense that this anticipated ordeal has some rich meaning as an offering
and allows me to understand a little better what Christ and some of the
saints went through.  My determination to make this an offering does bring
me a great deal of peace. But, of course, the real tests are yet to come.  I
pray that I, and all of you, will have the strength to endure this course
and become the richer for it.

(Of course, this is only my personal reflection. I am just a newbie here.
Also, I understand that many of you have different faiths, or no faith, and
I respect that difference.)

Michael Kiely

I share the same feelings about religious faith as I.P. does for most of
my life. (Including the time when I was in elementary parochial school).
I was raised a Roman Catholic and had 8 years of Catholic School. As I
remember, Catholics believe in heaven, hell, and purgatory. I can't help
but wonder sometimes if all of this is the latter as we trek through our
lives.

B.A.