Roger,

Your statement "and I know it WILL affect my sexual capacity in some
degree" is too pessimistic.  It is possible (but unusual) to have
nerve-sparing radical prostatectomy with no subsequent ED problems at
all, even temporary.  Especially with a young man like you.  I know
because that was my experience.

Be optimistic.  It certainly helped me.

Jim
standard RRP age 52

Roger, unfortunately.... yes.  My wife and I went on a 7-day cruise for our
25th Wedding anniversary the week before my operation.  I was only 46.  We
had sex once!  How pitiful is that?  I didn't see it coming.  Since you do,
hopefully there is something you and/or your wife can do about it.

Hey Roger, Sorry for the news and such.  I was diagnosed when I was
49.........Now I am 55 and can have wonderful sex.
I believe there is a lot on your mind, and it does affect you since you are
conscious of all the aspects and probably think about those when you are
sexually aroused.

I would move ahead, and being at a young age you will more than 100% be back
in the saddle after recovery...
Good wishes.....
Your prostate does not affect libido.....Testosterone and your mind.
John Loomis

Roger,
I was 50 when I had RLRP. No change pre-op except going crazy with
anxiety. I did prepare for trouble by learning to do the injections
pre-op. I went back to having intercourse day 13 post-op. In the early
days before my erectile function returned, the shots were an oasis in
the dessert. I was very glad I was prepared. My wife and I went on a
nice "get away" week end immediatly prior to surgery. That helped take
the edge off the anxiety.

I'm doing fine now at 14 months out. I hope you do well too.
Steve U

Roger,

I think there are a number of factors operating against you.

One is the fear of death by cancer.  That is a downer for
anyone.  Another is the fear of side effects of treatment.
Another may be fear of the treatment itself, or just of
general changes that have come into your life.

No one can tell you that the cancer and the treatment
will have no effect on your life.  They will.  But I am convinced
that life is every bit as meaningful, every bit as satisfying
and every bit as valuable after treatment as it is before.

Sex may be different.  It probably will be.  But it won't be
gone.  Some men in this group have great sex without
even getting erections.   Most men, especially at your age,
do recover the ability to have erections.  But even if they
don't, or only partially recover it, they are not out of the
game.

All of us who have ever faced a life threatening illness
(and eventually all of us do), and all of us who have had
major changes in our lives, have a challenge ahead of us.

The challenge is to seize hold of life, to put meaning in
our lives, to understand that every year and every day
that remains to us can be as meaningful, as valuable,
as pleasurable, as any day in the past.

I call this a "challenge" because it requires a psychological
effort on our part.  We have to _make_ things work for
us.  We have to put the vitality into our lives that we fear
is being taken from us.  We have to resolve that we are
going to live and love as best we can.  And if we do that,
there is no doubt in my mind that we will all find that the
best we can do really is enough for us.

I know I'm saying all this badly.  It requires a better
and more articulate philosopher than myself to put it into
the right words.  But I hope that the concept is getting
through and is of help to you.

Don't allow what is lost to obscure what remains.  There is
a lot of life, a lot of love, a lot of sex and physical enjoyment,
a lot of mental and psychological enjoyment ahead of you.

It's still there for the taking.  Go for it.

  Alan