Dear Diary

Day 1

We just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary with not much to
celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked
himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2

Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent since
the prostate cancer treatment, he says, and he wants me to be the first
to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he
actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3

This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Something must
change soon.

Day 4

I'm hoping for a miracle. It's called Viagra. I told him that if
he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding
night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac Pills with
the Viagra Pills, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5

What absolute bliss!!.

Day 6

Isn't life wonderful. But it's difficult to write while he's
exercising his new found MANHOOD.

Day 7

This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended!
Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a
Whopper.
He thought they were talking about him. But, I have to admit it's
very nice -- I don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8

I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of
mowing the lawn, he was using his "new" friend as a weed whacker. I'm
also getting a bit sore.

Day 9

No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10

Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so
much. What am I going to do?

Day 11

I'm basically being screwed to death here. It's like living with a
Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning pinned to the bed.
He's a complete PIG.

Day 12

I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing makeup, cleaning my teeth or
even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous...

Day 13

Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to
bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that
"Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.

Day 14

I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even
started dressing like a Nun, but this just seems to make him hornier.
Help me!

Day 15

I think I'll have to kill him. The cat and dog won't go near him and
our friends don't come over any more.

Day 16

The bastard has started to complain about not getting enough. I hope
the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the
Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17

Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference!
Here he comes again!

P.S. Please excuse the jerky handwriting.

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional
"Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so."
http://community.webtv.net/PALMER_ENT/doc

I got a good laugh out of that one!!! thanks for the smiles