Hi Curtis,

This is from an old post but I never thanked you for your response.  You
have a very positive outlook and that sure means a lot.

Here's the thought of a carnation for you from my heart.

Happy 2005.

Kathy
aka smiley

In God We Trust

IP,

I realize you've put alot of thought into your decision about whether
or not you should proceed with HT and I respect that. FYI, I do own Dr.
Walshs book and have read many more and have spent hours researching
data on the internet.  I have a medical background and have no
difficulty understanding the data.  But ultimately after presenting the
treatment options and pros and cons to my husband, it had to be his
decision.  My husband also has recently discontinued his hormonal
therapy after almost 10 months due to his "debilitating" side effects
disregard his oncologists protests.  The more I researched the long
term hormonal therapy, the more convinced I became that IHT would be a
viable option for him in hopes of maintaining a higher QOL.  We have
"fired" his oncolgist and have found a wonderful doctor who believes
and does IHT.  Once again, my husband wanted to "try" the hormonal
therapy  for at least 6 months post op.  His goal going into this was
to gain as much time as possible.  The main reason being that we have a
beautiful 8 year old daughter together and he really would like to see
her graduation high school. By the way, I'm only 44 years old - not
ready to be a widow just yet. After seeing the fatigue, cognitive
changes, depression, etc, etc, etc, I asked him to reconsider and he
did.  Suddenly, QOL has become more important than the "nightmare" we
were living with the hormones.  But you've read all about that haven't
you?

My husband religiously received his yearly physical including psa and
rectals per my insistence and his cancer still went undetected until it
was quite advanced.  As we all know, the 4.0 threshold does not catch
everyone's cancer in time.  My husband's psa had just reached 5 prior
to surgery with a gleason 7(4+3).  We received 4 "second opinions" and
every doctor felt surgery was a viable option.  My husband wanted it
"out" of his body and there was no convincing him otherwise.  But
ultimately the delayed diagnosis of the PCa only made me feel as if the
medical society had let me down and whatever "trust" I had in the art
of medicine was lost.  I went into high gear researching the disease
and I've never stopped. I'm quite aware of all the lovely side effects
from long term hormonal therapy and I do hope that intermittent is the
answer for us.  Although QOL is important, I also want to have my
husband around to see our daughter grow up for as long as possible.
Its not an easy decision, is it?  I know you've been struggling with
your decision for a very long time and I've been impressed with your
deliberate thought process and how you've tried to weigh all the pros
and cons.  I also think under the given circumstances, you've made the
right decision for you.

The response I had for Kathy had absolutely "nothing" to do with
medical data, etc.  and everything to do with "emotions".  I was
empathizing with her feelings of being a wife in a very difficult
situation.  I can't imagine how difficult it is for you but I can
"feel" Kathys pain because I feel it also.  It is extremely difficult
to standby and watch your spouse suffer and feel so helpless.  I think
the feelings of "what if" are normal to a certain degree and that was
my point to her.  Although I can't speak for all women, I think in
general women tend to "analyze" things more and maybe dwell on things
that we can't change and that was my point as well.

I guess I take personal offense to your comments in regard to us
needing to take a more "educated" approach whereby I have oversaturated
myself in this data for the past 2 years.  As you know, the more you
read the more confusing it gets because ultimately there is no one
right or wrong answer.  It depends on what specialty of doctor you
speak to and what studies you are reviewing and of course you own
personal expectations.

I really hope you do well without the hormones and hopefully never need
them.  By the way, my husband has been off them for almost 3 months now
and the hot flashes continue, libido is still nonexistent but thats to
be expected since his testosterone is only 66 at this stage.  Although
the fatigue has lessened, he definitely isn't back to normal.
All the best to you IP,
Sandi