OT: Early Christmas Present

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Tom C - 13 Dec 2004 00:56 GMT

With all that's happened over the past year, my wife's dx and treatment for
breast cancer, my dx and treatment. We received a GREAT early Christmas
gift, a 5lb.-15 oz. healthy grandson on Friday Dec. 10, 04.

Tom

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MH - 13 Dec 2004 01:17 GMT

Congrats, Grandpa! :))

What a wonderful Christmas present!

MikeH

> With all that's happened over the past year, my wife's dx and treatment
> for
> breast cancer, my dx and treatment. We received a GREAT early Christmas
> gift, a 5lb.-15 oz. healthy grandson on Friday Dec. 10, 04.
>
> Tom

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Tom C - 13 Dec 2004 01:42 GMT

Thanks Mike,

Mom and son are doing just fine and at home now.
We got home (NJ) from MD about an hour ago and I've been sending photos to
other family members who are not as nearby.

Tom

> Congrats, Grandpa! :))
>
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> >
> > Tom

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Steve Kramer - 13 Dec 2004 16:10 GMT

Hey! Congratulations, grandpa!

When I got PCa, I considered that it came late enough that I would get to
see my children reach adulthood and probably whether they were going to
succeed. I did and they will. I was quite content then to assume room
temperature whenever God chose having, in my mind, succeeded in this life.

But, then came Max on 12/31/2003, and I have been itching for more
grandchildren and more time with them ever since. My daughters are going to
oblige me with two more in April and June.

Ah, the things children do for their fathers.....

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Prostate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor
PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
RRP 12/15/2000 G7 (3+4), T3bN0M0
PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75
EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32
Lupron (1 mo) 07/21/2003 @ 48
PSA .07 .05 .06
Lupron (3 mo) 8/03 (48), 12/03, 4/04 (49), 09/04 (50)
non Illegitimi carborundum

> With all that's happened over the past year, my wife's dx and treatment for
> breast cancer, my dx and treatment. We received a GREAT early Christmas
> gift, a 5lb.-15 oz. healthy grandson on Friday Dec. 10, 04.
>
> Tom

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deborah.trujillo@verizon.net - 13 Dec 2004 20:51 GMT

Congratulations Steve. Consider it an added blessing that you will get
to see your grandkids and spend time with them.

John hasn't seen his grandkids in 5 years because his daughter refuses
to talk to him. John called her after his surgery when he was home
recuperating and she said at that time that she didn't have a father.
Her saying this angered me to a point where I refused to sign her
birthday card last month. Lea (his daughter) knew that her father had
had cancer because I had contacted her before his surgery. At the time
she shared with me about having a lump removed from her breast the year
before that they didn't know until afterwards was benign - no one ever
contacted John.

John and her mother divorced when she was a baby. John has told me
that had he been a better father his daughter wouldn't be acting this
way. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I sent Lea copies
of our wills several years ago and she saw that he planned to leave his
estate to me. However, the wills also both state that Lea will receive
one-half of the estate of the last one of us to survive. I had thought
at the time that Lea would be better off than she would have been had
John left her everything because I was the one who owned the home
before we were married and was bringing more assets into the marriage
than John was. John was renting his parents' house when we married.
Sorry I got a little off the subject here.

On a brighter note, I just came back from spending a few days at a
resort in Ramona, California (near San Diego). John took the Amtrak
down on Saturday and joined me. He obliged me by taking a picture of
me with my favorite horse there with the digital camera we gave each
other for Christmas. We also visited the San Juan Capistrano Mission
on the way home.

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Steve Kramer - 14 Dec 2004 07:48 GMT

> Congratulations Steve. Consider it an added blessing that you will get
> to see your grandkids and spend time with them.
>
> John hasn't seen his grandkids in 5 years because his daughter refuses
> to talk to him.

> John and her mother divorced when she was a baby.

My parents divorced when I was 21 and my 5 siblings were between 20 and 3.
It was quite difficult on each of us for different reasons, mostly based on
age. We still feel the effects 29 years later. My sister divorced after
two kids and both kids are just a mess. My other sister divorced after one
kid and there are great problems there. My brother married a divorced
mother of three and there are terrific problems there.

Divorce just doesn't occur naturally among human beings. There is no way
known to man to mend those kinds of things. You really have to disconcern
yourself with Lea and tend to the problems that you CAN do something about.

That's my 2 cents, anyway.

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Debbie Trujillo - 14 Dec 2004 08:31 GMT

My sister's husband divorced her when their 4 sons were teenagers. All 4 of
her boys went through a difficult phase as teenagers but were more decent
after going through that phase. One of her sons is an alcoholic who has
been sober in AA for some time. The other 3 are married with their own
families (one is even going to be a grandfather in February). My sister did
remarry - however, she also ended up divorcing that husband after 12 years.
He suffers from depression.

My brother divorced his wife when their 3 kids were small. Their ages at
that time were 9, 7 and 4. The kids found out about their parents' divorce
by reading about it in the paper. I think the oldest will always have some
resentment towards her father for leaving their mother like he did. The
youngest had always been a very outgoing child but became withdrawn at the
time of the divorce. She was already reading and writing at that point -
however, her writing became backwards.

All 3 kids have Ph.Ds now. The oldest and youngest (both girls) are married
and the oldest has 3 kids of her own now. The middle child (a boy) is
currently in Singapore (his Ph.D. is in Asian History) doing some research.

I neglected to mention that John's daughter Lea is a divorced mother of
three. Her ex-husband is a cop. The problems between John and Lea started
about the time of her divorce - however, I think that is a coincidence.

On 12/13/04 11:48 PM, in article lVwvd.65181$MG3.35875@fe2.columbus.rr.com,

> My parents divorced when I was 21 and my 5 siblings were between 20 and 3.
> It was quite difficult on each of us for different reasons, mostly based on
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> That's my 2 cents, anyway.

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Lorelei - 14 Dec 2004 17:07 GMT

>> Congratulations Steve. Consider it an added blessing that you will get
>> to see your grandkids and spend time with them.
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
>
> That's my 2 cents, anyway.

My mom got divorced 2x from
my 2nd birthday-16th birthday.
totally f'd me up until
about 4 yrs ago. Curt had to put up with a lot of my insecurites regarding
"MEN LEAVE" for a few years until I really believed him that he wasn't going
anywear. oh course, that is changed but this is at least against his will.
DIvorce sucks!!!!!!

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deborah.trujillo@verizon.net - 14 Dec 2004 22:51 GMT

> My mom got divorced 2x from
> my 2nd birthday-16th birthday.
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> anywear. oh course, that is changed but this is at least against his will.
> DIvorce sucks!!!!!!

Yes. Divorce does suck. I divorced my first husband in 1978. We were
just shy of having been married 5 years. I went through a lot of mental
pain through this divorce. I was alone for 18 years until I married
John (ironically on the 18th anniversary of my divorce from husband
#1). I made sure that John and I were engaged for at least a year
before marrying since we had both made mistakes in the past when we
married. I also did a lot of praying, and I told John that he was
going to be my last husband.

I also went through a lot of insecurity with husband #1 (named Ed) -
that he would be unfaithful or would leave. I think a lot of that came
from the fact that I got pregnant at 17 and was abandoned by the baby's
father so there was a lot of mistrust of people in general but
particularly men. Ironically, I was the one in the marriage who turned
out to be unfaithful and filed the divorce papers. I also put up with
a lot from Ed as well and should have ended the marriage much sooner
than I did. He died of lung cancer 10 days after 9/11 - however, we
had gotten to where we were able to be friends again. Ed was very happy
for me when I met and married John.

On our wedding day, when I started down the aisle, I remember seeing
John in front and thinking that he was a sight for sore eyes. I did
not have this feeling with Ed on our wedding day.

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ButtercupsDad@dog.net - 14 Dec 2004 12:22 GMT

Cases like you describe here really make my heart ache. I know of one
case where the father died, not a divorce situation at all, but the
eldest son is estranged from his mother because he blames her for not
remarrying so he grew up without a father. Can you understand that
one?
In another case, this one in my family, the wife's ex filled the kid's
head with so much vile that it ended up with the teen age daughter
taking a knife to the step-father and trying to kill him. Thank
heaven that attempt failled, but it shows the harm that a vindictive
spouse can inflict. We humans are capable of some terrible things,
and the greatest irony is when we do it to someone we love or used to
love.

Sorry for the hurt in your family.

>John hasn't seen his grandkids in 5 years because his daughter refuses
>to talk to him. John called her after his surgery when he was home....
>
>John and her mother divorced when she was a baby. John has told me
>that had he been a better father his daughter wouldn't be acting this
>way. The straw that broke the camel's back was <snip>

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