OT Humor(THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60)

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Tom C - 23 Sep 2004 00:58 GMT

THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

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Danny McCarty - 23 Sep 2004 02:39 GMT

>Subject: OT Humor(THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60)
>From: "Tom C" thomcu@verizon.net
>Date: 9/22/2004 6:58 PM Central Daylight Time
>Message-id: <Cko4d.16036$%42.14133@trndny08>

ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ;-}

>THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60
>
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
>20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
>21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

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c palmer - 23 Sep 2004 12:04 GMT

Great Imponderables

When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Do you think Houdini ever locked his keys in his car?

Why is there a road sign that says "Braille Institute, Next Exit"?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

If procrastinators had a club, would they ever have a meeting?

If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2?

Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference
between here and there?

When you go into a hotel, you always see reception. Why do you never
just see ception?

If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save
one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Isn't it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers
take economists seriously?

If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra, would they get a
four-legged chicken with its own bar code?

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Why is there always one in every crowd?

If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?

Who decided "Hotpoint" would be a good name for a company that sells
refrigerators?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional
"Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so."

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Larry - 25 Sep 2004 16:30 GMT

Those were great! :-)

One more:

Did you hear about the dyslexic Agnostic who sat around pondering whether or
not there was a Dog?

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Steve Kramer - 25 Sep 2004 01:46 GMT

Man! I can't wait. 10 years and 4 days......

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> THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60
>
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
> 20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
> 21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

Reply to this Message