if your husband was in the service, try the veterans hosp. i wish you
all the best and i will pray for both of you.

Linda, first off, my deepest sympathy for all that you are going through.
Unfortunately, our social system is set up for unmarried, teenaged mothers
and their babies, not mature adults who have contributed throughout their
lives.
that aside, My husband, curt, has widespread mets to his bones. The
paragraph listing the affected bones was several inches long. I quit reading
after so many bones. He has been receiving Zometa infusions every month. It
takes 15 min by IV. He gets a bit sick afterwards but that passes. the first
time he got it he said it felt like ice water surging through his body, but
that has abated with time and repeated doses.  It has HELPED with his bone
pain. He controls his pain with Vicodin (2-4 per day and Ibuprofen-if his
pain threshold wasn't so dang high. he may have been diagnosed at a curable
stage <sigh>) and Zometa Does show Some progress killing the  prostate
cancer in the bones. Prostate cancer in the bone is a blastic cancer,
meaning that it doesn't so much "disintegrate" the bones as it "builds"
unstable bony areas that are prone to fracture. Zometa is supposed to slow
that process. Curt has had 8 doses of it now and will continue to for the
rest of his life.
About 3 months ago, Curt tripped in the shower on our S4's toys in the
tub/shower and he fell *hard*. I was scared to death that he had hurt
himself (he is self-employed in a physical job so we can't afford him to not
work, Child support doesn't care how we live as long as that adulterous
ex-wife gets her money). But thanks to the Zometa (I truly believe this) he
did not break anything!
Please look into this. Our cancer center (HHH , in Minnesota) has people to
help with all these things. Social workers to help with financial problems
(that is the main focus for a social worker in a hospital/clinic setting),
and other things to help both of you deal. I am surprised that you aren't
hooked into something like that.
My best thoughts to you.

Dear Linda...

I'm so sorry to read of your news.  But.... there *are* some treatments out
there that can help Merle deal with the bone problems and with the pain.
I've not experienced using hormones yet.... or the other things... so I'll
let those people who are more knowledgeable tell you about those.

It's a shame that the people who work all their lives cannot get help with
medical problems when they need it.  Do talk to anyone you can find who
might be a resource.  Contact agencies like Goodwill and Salvation Army and
Red Cross to see if they know of resources to refer you to for help with
medical costs and medications.  There may be some resources out there that
you are just not aware of.... unfortunately, you will have to really work to
find them!

I know you want to *be strong* for your husband, but do remember to take
care of *you*, too.  Perhaps you could have a cup of coffee and a talk with
a good friend... and unburden yourself of some of this sadness and worry?
Or could you talk with your pastor?

Again, I'm sorry the news was not better.  But I have a feeling that with
the right treatments, Merle is going to be around for some time to come!
Hang in there!
And know that we are always here to listen and offer what support and advice
we can!

What state are you in??

Take care!
MikeH

Linda:
   First, I am very sorry to hear of your plight.  It really makes me angry
to hear the politicians talk about "the richest and most powerful nation on
earth..." when there is so much waste and people are in need.
   I think you should try making some noise.  Locally we have consumer
action reporters at all the network tv stations.  Recently we had a child
where the HMO would not pay for his care because it was considered
experimental.  That made the news and the next day this magnamimous for
profit bureacracy changed their mind and made a big todo about how they were
going to cover the child's care.  Bastards.  I watch the frickin ad's during
the evening news because they made so much profit last year that made the
news, so now they spend big bucks on ads to tell us how great they are.
   Anyway, the system wants you to be stoic and fatalistic (and quiet).
Don't be.  Fight them.  This is a political year.  Make use of that.
Contact the local party office and see if you can get some help from them.
Healthcare is sure an issue.  Write to Ophra.  No kidding.  Put out a cry
for help and make the money men squirm.  Check with the hospital social
service office to see what community resources are available.  Time to get
off my soapbox.  Sorry.
   God bless you both and may He give you the strength to face this fight
and whatever future is in store for you.  You both are certainly in my
prayers.  You too Lorelei.
   Thank you.
David S.

hi linda - sorry that you got the bad news.  merle is probably in shell
shock.  and it sounds like you are trying to stay focused.  may i offer
some suggestions on the financial side.  

first, was merle ever in the military?  he didn't have to retire, just
joined.  a lot of men do not know that medical care is available to them
because they think they had to do their 20 years to get anything.  that
is not true.  medical care is available to anyone who served.  it is
based on ability to pay and there is a good chance he wouldn't have to
pay anything.

second,  each gov't agency has their own set of rules.  you may not
qualify for one agency, but the next agency will exclude you disability
income and therefore you will qualify.  there isn't one set of rules and
you have to beat on the doors to find which one will open.

third - local agencies - go to the different agencies - start with the
cancer society and explain what's going on and see which direction they
send you.  they have a lot of info at the fingertips that may help.

fourth - called around and see who is doing clinical studies.  these are
free and he will be given the latest drugs that are not on the open
market.  he might be given a drug that could stop and reverse pca
completely.  but you will have to seek out these trials.

fifth - each state is different on the rules on helping people.  i use
to operate a business where the homeless washed their clothes.  they
actually had papers given to them that had phone numbers, addresses, and
who to see in order to get what services.  these people would tell me
what city or state had the best benefits.  

sounds like the doctor dropped the news on you both like a sledge
hammer.  for what it's worth, it doesn't happen over night.  to give you
an example, my dad told me that the doctor had told him his body was
full of cancer. he was in his mid 80's.  his psa was 288 at the time.
they gave him a lupron shot and he still was doing independent living
for years afterward, until he drove off and hit a tree which required
him to have care 24/7, but it wasn't due to the pca.  my son and his
wife stayed with him during the whole time and even though he was in
bone pain, he had fallen out of his wheel chair (he had alheimers too)
he didn't break a bone once.  and he was 92 when he died of a heart
attack.

merle should not go out and shop for a plot yet.  he's got a lot more
living to do first.

hope this helps,

~ curtis

knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional    
"Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so."

Count me in for several prayers!