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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Prostate Cancer / July 2004Orgasm Observations - was Dry Orgasms
I am one year post-LRP with Willie still looking like an acorn without Viagra and kind of half erect but so far unusable with. What I have found however regarding orgasms is that they are better for me now than they were pre-op and I think it has to to with the mode of manipulation. Hopefully some of you, men and women both, will chime in with relevent comments, and I also hope my observations can be of benefit to those men still recovering sexually. All my orgasms pre-op were accomplished through normal intercourse or manually by grabbing onto the shaft and pounding away, both primarily penile shaft stimulation. Neither of those options is available post-op so now I grab onto the head and vigorously manipulate it much like rolling a marble between my thumb and fingers. In my somewhat limited experience with women (two wives and two girlfriends) it seemed to me that their orgasms were always much more intense through clitoral stimulation than with regular vaginal intercourse - here's where you women can chime in to confirm or deny. I'm no anatomist but it seems that the penile head is much like the clitoris and responds the same way. I know no man can ever experience what a woman does and vice versa but I'm guessing I'm now having orgasms akin to what women get with clitoral stimulation. Am I full of it or is there something to my observations? No matter, it works fine for me. If the graphic and personal nature of this post offended anyone, oh well. Dave Perry I am almost 2 years post-op and have no erectile function whatsoever due to the non-nerve sparing RRP. I get about 50% with Viagra, though. Nothing remotely stuffable. I tend to agree with your observation, I can still have orgasms, they are at least as good and sometimes better, makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end occasionally. Still miss sex with the wife and vice-versa. They never said getting old would be a piece of cake. Hopefully, in a few more years I'll get used to the new me. "Hanging" in there, Tom I am one year post-LRP with Willie still looking like an acorn without > Viagra and kind of half erect but so far unusable with. What I have > found however regarding orgasms is that they are better for me now [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > well. > Dave Perry > ... > Still miss sex with the wife and vice-versa. > ... I'm not sure what "with the wife" means. It could refer to conventional sex with penetration, or it could mean any kind of sexual experiences - without penetration. I know some couples have a lot of trouble talking to each other and working things out concerning sex, but I think they should try. Since, in spite of impotence, both a man and a woman can still have orgasms, there's no reason in the world why they shouldn't do it together, for each other. I believe the love, the mutual satisfaction, the emotional and physical experiences, are all still there to be had. Alan Alan you have brought up a very important aspect of sexual experience - communication! My husband finds it very helpful if I tell him ahead of time what I want. Do I want to just be held, loved, snuggled and in general made to feel warm and cozy? Or do I want a rock solid romp in the hay? And the same works for him I need to know what he wants. What worked before does not necessarily work now. What felt good then might not have the same effect now. So he has to guide me and let me know how he feels. You can't do this without good communications!!! Sometimes I know/sense when things are not working and I will often take a "timeout" and say "what do I need to do?" (No, it's not as bad as asking if he remembered to put the trash out. LOL) But when we get it right it's wonderful! Don't be vague! Don't let your partner be vague. I know for some folks this is difficult, especially if the couple is not used to talking about this. Don't take things for granted, it's a little like being 17 or 18 again except hopefully you have a wee bit more investment in your partner and a few less hormones cursing through your system. Talk before, talk afterwards but keep talking until you get it right. It doesn't matter if you've been married for 40 years, 3 years or if this a casual (did I just type that?) relationship. Practice makes perfect!! Bev > > ... > > Still miss sex with the wife and vice-versa. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Alan > My husband finds it very helpful if I tell him ahead of time what I want. Do > I want to just be held, loved, snuggled and in general made to feel warm and > cozy? Or do I want a rock solid romp in the hay? It's supposed to be the other way around!  SignatureProstate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46 Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c RRP 12/15/2000 PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75 EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47 PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32 Erection 05/12/2003 @ 48 HTbegins 07/21/2003 @ 48 PSA .07 .05 Lupron 7/03, 8/03, 12/03, 4/04 non illegitimi carborundum > > My husband finds it very helpful if I tell him ahead of time what I want. > Do [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > It's supposed to be the other way around! I'm not sure what the "other way around is", but Bev is right about communication. What we need to do is forget about what it's "supposed to be" and work instead on what we want it to be. As far as I'm concerned, -anything- she wants is fine with me, and vice versa. When a man and woman have been married for 20, 30, or 40 years, they might think that whatever they've got is what they've got and there's no point trying to change it or make it better. But what the heck. You only live once. Nobody cares what you do and it's nobody else's business. Might as well try to move things along and make them better. What has anybody got to lose? If love is at a stalemate, there are counselors who can help, or even books that can help, to get communication started and to get things moving again. Alan > > > My husband finds it very helpful if I tell him ahead of time > what I want. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > I'm not sure what the "other way around is", but > Bev is right about communication. Don't read too much into it. I was just messin' with Bev. > ... > Don't read too much into it. I was just messin' with Bev. Sorry Steve. Sometimes I get literal minded and jokes fly past me. Alan Okay, okay, this is not Freudian situation. I'm just saying some women enjoy being the recipients of a nice stiff .............. Somebody always wants me to clarify what I'm saying. No wonder men need pictures - obviously they have no imagination. Bev > > My husband finds it very helpful if I tell him ahead of time what I want. > Do [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > It's supposed to be the other way around! Okay, okay, this is not Freudian situation. I'm just saying some women enjoy being the recipients of a nice stiff .............. Somebody always wants me to clarify what I'm saying. No wonder men need pictures - obviously they have no imagination. Bev ------------------------ uh, bev - i'm a little slow. now, can you draw me a picture, and do it nice and slow................ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) sorry, i just could not pass that up. you can whip me with a wet noodle if you want. oops, maybe that's another story......... ~ curtis knowledge is power - growing old is mandatory - growing wise is optional "Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so." Some of us have pretty good imaginations and don't need pictures but they sure help. Jim Rocks > Okay, okay, this is not Freudian situation. I'm just saying some women > enjoy being the recipients of a nice stiff .............. [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > "Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is > invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so." *I am one year post-LRP with Willie still looking like an acorn without *Viagra and kind of half erect but so far unusable with. What I have *found however regarding orgasms is that they are better for me now *than they were pre-op and I think it has to to with the mode of *manipulation. Hopefully some of you, men and women both, will chime *in with relevent comments, and I also hope my observations can be of *benefit to those men still recovering sexually. <snip> I am going on yr. and a half RRP, orgasms are extremely intense, takes alittle longer to get there, but I guess i'm lucky to be able to get full erections. I had nerve sparing so that probably helped completely. I think exercising the muscles may help. I felt some weird pain near anus initially, but my Uro told me that it was scar tissue inside. Now, I have no pain and intense orgasms, much more than before the operation. Al Please be quiet if replying via email, flames will be deleted promptly. I won't even read the whole message... > I am one year post-LRP with Willie still looking like an acorn without > Viagra and kind of half erect but so far unusable with. What I have [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > well. > Dave Perry Dave you're very late to discovering your body! This is nothing new to me. Can you imagine what other cool places you've yet to discover? LOL SignatureJK Sinrod Sinrod Stained Glass Studios www.sinrodstudios.com Coney Island Memories www.sinrodstudios.com/coneymemories It is so interesting to hear someone else's experience! I'm 2 months post-op and have also experienced some O's that seem better than pre-op. I have been wondering (in silence) whether the post-op superiority was my imagination. Is it possible that I don't truly remember the exact level of pre-op physical sensation? Maybe. I can't point to any technique change as you have. I just really really don't know why. It could well be psychosomatic--the polyannish intense hope and desire to feel like "nothing's changed" and that "all's for the best in this best of all possible worlds"--but of course human sexuality is substantially "psychosomatic" in the first place. It is certainly true that post-op everything "down there" has been exquisitely sensitive, I guess for good and for ill. The O's do produce a wonderfully intense throbbing that unfortunately produces some level of internal pain in the urethral area of the perineum. It is over quickly, but definitely gets my attention. Are the pain and pleasure inextricably linked? If the pain disappears in the future will the O intensity subside? Paul > I am one year post-LRP with Willie still looking like an acorn without > Viagra and kind of half erect but so far unusable with. What I have [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > well. > Dave Perry Signature"Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best." Woody Allen |
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