First of all Jim, guess what? You don't have cancer anymore. For most,
that's plenty. 2nd... it's only been a few weeks for you after major
surgery. Here's a good analogy.... how does it feel to eat 2 hours after the
dentist has numbed your mouth? Trust me... orgasm is mostly in the mind.
Once you start to get it up, and start feeling better about things, you will
fall off the cliff just like you used to. My dry and limp orgasms were
terrific the more I practiced them. How old are you? Age does make a
difference in recovery time and magnitude I believe. I'm now 54 and it's
been 2 years post RP for me now, and I can get fully erect and have
wonderful dry orgasms. No more tissues needed either! I still feel very very
slow improvement all the time, so relax and get busy! Good luck.

*I am a newbie to prostate cancer, having only been diagnosed in May
*with an RP 4 weeks ago. My surgeon has prescribed stimulation over
the
*next 3 months prior to my next appointment) to get the penile blood
*flowing. My experience after 3 dry orgasms (with very limited
*semi-erections) is that they are a pale reflection of the "real
thing"
<snip>

I also concur that with given time, your orgasms should improve. I had
RRP Feb 03 and have enjoyed dry orgasms now. It's definitely not the
same as wet, but...I'm alive w/o cancer and that's a huge relief. I
also like the ability to get intimate with my mate, without having to
stop to put on a condom. No orgasms, no unwanted pregnancies. I can
live with that. So, hang in there, and keep stimulating those nerves.
They may surprise you real soon. If they don't, I'd suggest talking to
your urologist, but like JK mentioned, your emotions play a good part
in this.

Al
Please be quiet if replying via email,
flames will be deleted promptly.
I won't even read the whole message...

Jim, you are ahead of the curve as most men think they can't even have an
orgasm if they are dry and limp. So you at least know this is going to
happen. Four weeks is a very short time so give yourself some more time.
Keep practicing, don't get discouraged. Hopefully you have a willing partner
to help with this exercising. Everyone is different but frequently the guys
will say that what they are experiencing post-treatment is often more
intense and lasts longer. Yet it is different but not in a bad way, just
different. You've had some nerve damage which has to heal and that can take
a while. Time is going to make a big difference.

The important thing is the cancer is gone. That means you will have lots of
time to play with it. Some of the guys will suggest magazines, video, etc.
to help get the mind in gear. (Any excuse will do. LOL) If you have
progressed this far at only 4 weeks post-op you are going to be just fine.
Practice makes perfect!
Bev

Keep working it Jim.  I am one year post-op and find that my orgasms
are getting to be as good if not better than before.  Had one a few
weeks ago that I would rate as the best ever - I almost fainted.  As
with you, the first few were nothing special.  The dry part seems to
be of no consequence to me and the dull ache was never an issue either
since I had a vasectomy years before.  Besides, I don't think the
sperm comes from the scrotal area during orgasm, that's just where
it's produced.  Of course, Willie is still limp and I have to
manipulate it differently but on the whole (no pun) things are looking
pretty good.
Dave Perry

This is another of the side effects they don't really tell you about
before treatment.  Console yourself with the knowledge that the result
is the same for patients who undergo EBRT.  Yes, it is true as others
have posted, that orgasms are largely in the head, but those who
discount the physiological aspect are sugar coating reality, IMO. A
diminished sex life is inevitable after PCa treatment, pure and
simple.  Even if you can get it up, what used to be a climax is now an
ante-climax.  So, focus on satisfying your mate and have a vicarious
orgasm :-)

The good news remains that you are most probably cured of cancer and
that you will adjust to your new situation.  Nothing you can do about
it except count your blessings and move on.  There are better fates;
there are worse fates; our fate is ours and we can handle it.

Good luck.
--dt

I too had RRP done just over 4 weeks ago.  I had my first dry orgasm about
one week after the catheter came out.  I've gotta tell ya, it was one of the
most mind blowing experiences I've ever had.  Probably because I didn't
expect anything to happen -but wow, it was quite the experience. My whole
body shook.   Since then, I've had 3 dry orgasms and while not the intensity
of the first, they're still pretty good.

As with everything with PCa, it is different for each person.  I figure the
fact that you've had an orgasm 4 weeks after surgery, you're doing great.  I
expect things will get better as time progresses.  Don't bum out about it -
look at the bright side - no more cancer and no clean-up afterwards!!

Sandy K.
Age 47

First, count yourself among the extremely lucky to have had 3 orgasms in
your first month post RRP.

But, work it for all it's worth.  I'm confident you'll get 80% to 90% to
100% of it back.

Jim:

I'm at the 18-month mark since surgery, sincerely grateful and happy to be alive and presently cancer-free, but, despite go 'rounds with Levitra and Viagra, experiencing half-mast erections and truly unsatisfying climaxes. Although every one seems a little more reminiscent of the way they used to feel, so I remain ever hopeful. But I sincerely doubt, as do you it appears, that I'll ever have the plaster-cratering, box spring killing, thunderous orgasms I had right up to 2002. But I choose a half-full glass approach and I'm delighted I'm able experience SOME release, however feeble it is.

You seem to be lucky in comparison. For months after surgery my whole pelvic area felt like a crime scene. I couldn't stand to be touched there and the few orgasms we shot for were more pain than pleasure. It was becoming very traumatic. Turns out I had a hernia in the aftermath that went untreated for 5 months. I feel great now and feel that time is my friend. With the safe passage of every day comes another chance at some kind of physical and mental renewal. And even if the sex sucks compared to days of old, even bad sex is sex. It's more than I ever got as a teenager!

Hang in there and don't get discouraged. I did in the early going and it didn't do me any damn good. Learn from my mistake and don't waste time feeling you won't ever see improvement. I have a feeling you'll eventually have an improved sex life if you take matters into your own hands (a few times a day if possible!) and keep a healthy outlook.

Good luck.

Jon

my op was 15 May 2004. So far no erections but good orgasms if anything a
tad better than before! I'm 66 my friends describe me as a bit 'Polly Anna'
and I expect the best!!! You are doing well just 4 weeks after rp - for me I
didn't dare try until 6 weeks after and wow limp but nice...
"Upwards and Onwards"

Fred