I've had stage 4 colorectal cancer now for over two years. I was only
given a 8% chance. Starting when I was 45, I've found it in my liver,
lungs and of course my colon. I've temporally lost the use of my rectum
until I am clear for 5 years when it will be hopefully re-attached. (yes,
I'm half-assed! It has it benefits) I've never had a staff infection but
I've waltzed through several mop-up surgeries where they've deemed me
clear of cancer each time. I'm one hole short of a gulf course from all
the surgeries I've had and suspect that I will probably have more holes
soon depending on the outcome of yet another PET/CT.

I'm not sure what they or you mean by too late or terminal but from my
position I can say that it's not too late. I've seen people with no
chance of survival make comebacks. Just as there is no rime or reason to
getting cancer, there is none as well to it's submission and remission.

Please reconsider treatment. At least postpone the prognoses until you
get a second unbiased opinion from other doctors.

I would think that any other surgeries your wife would consider would not
have an infection as they tend to try and avoid them as much as possible.
Also, each person responds in different ways to the chemo. My chemo was
quite easy and painless. Hers may be as well. (BTW, talk to your onc
about the drug Avastin.) Radiation treatments only sucked sometimes but
not all the time.

Two other things to consider is to change your diet to colorful fruit and
avoid the American diet. (it's not unpatriotic!) being active also helps
with not only feeling better but it also helps your body fight off the
cancer. There are several post here on the forum describing this.

Though I don't know all the details of your position, I hate to see
someone toss in the towel.

Here is a link for the ACOR colorectal cancer list. They currently have 802
members either with CR cancer or are caregivers.  ACOR runs lists for about
150 types of cancer. These lists are moderated to stop spam and keep out nut
jobs. You can both make contact with people going throught the same things
as your wife and youself.  Their group Archives will often answer any cancer
related questions that you might have.    good luck to you both,  AW

http://listserv.acor.org/archives/colon.html

Welcome to the group, although I'm sorry to hear the the reason.  I
had stage 3 colon cancer diagnosed in June '06.  Whatever your wife
chooses, I wish the best for her, and for you.  These decisions aren't
easy, and must be made on an individual basis, with as much
information as possible.  When the docs say it's too late, they may
mean the chemo won't *cure* the cancer.  At this stage, treatment may
help improve quality of life, without any promise of cure.  Even with
earlier stages, there isn't a guarantee of cure, just a statistical
improvement on survival rates.  Your wife may wish to read or post
here as well---we have a mix of patients, caregivers, and a small
sample of health professionals.

---
CSM

Hello Dave,
I'm sorry to hear about your wife.

We used to have a palliative care RN, from Australia, here, but hospice is
doing such a fine job with patients and their families, we rarely have to
deal with "sticky" questions or questions about medicines.

I just posted a link for caregivers (group) at ACOR.

It's hard to know the best place for you, but I'll make it official.
You're a member of a support group here.
There's a few (or more) who are in similar situations as you (and haven't
answered the recent roll calls).
Keep watching for them. There's nothing to stop you from being at ACOR and
here. (except the amount of time you'd rather spend with your wife and
family).  I'll be here, listening and caring.

It's hard to comment about stopping aggressive treatments. If she knows
that she's not curable, and chemo and RT is mostly palliative intent; it's
her decision.  Some people see others; sitting there, nurse having trouble
finding a vein, the tests, the infusions and suddenly think, "it's not
worth the extra (perhaps 3-5 months). I'd rather have quality time
instead."

If you decide to just stay with ACOR, could you please let me know?
I'll quit worrying and looking for your posts, if so.
Thank you.
J