Yesterday my world slowed to a crawl.  Fear overwhelmed me beyond
description.  She told me they found a lump in her right breast and
took a biopsy.

The thought of this woman who exemplifies goodness and loving kindness
may have to endure such trauma that so often goes with a diagnosis of
breast cancer is tearing my heart out.

I fear for her suffering and am afraid of not having her around to
make this and my world a better place.  This morning she left to spend
the weekend with her sister.

My soul is crying at the prospect of life without her.

Waiting is such misery.  Worst case scenarios vividly well up in my
mind and I shake with apprehension.  She is the reason I have tried to
live a decent life.  Without her there is nothing to care about or
for.

At this moment I feel lifeless and lost.  I have had a sense of anger
as well, and I'm tired emotionally. Totally drained physically by two
words.

I hope she will cry with her sister since she put up a good front for
me.  I think it's my time to cry now.  If when the waiting is over and
the news is bad I won't have time waste on selfish tears.