Chemo again?

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Christine - 26 Sep 2007 22:48 GMT

Robert called today and told me the oncologist's office had called him to
remind him that he was to start a week of chemo yesterday. He said he
forgot to tell me. I'm wondering why they are doing this so aggressively
when he's got Hospice there. I will have to find out tomorrow. Hopefully
it's to improve his breathing and pain. But a weeks worth? That just seems
a little much to me. But I am new to all of this and don't understand some
things. I'm still dealing with my father also, who likes chemo and is out
of rheumatoid arthritis pain. His scan revealed a high improvement. The
doctor thinks they can get him into remission by the time his other 3 months
are up. I am very relieved to know this, but also cautious...Warmly, Chris

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J - 28 Sep 2007 12:18 GMT

> Robert called today and told me the oncologist's office had called him to
> remind him that he was to start a week of chemo yesterday. He said he
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> doctor thinks they can get him into remission by the time his other 3 months
> are up. I am very relieved to know this, but also cautious...Warmly, Chris

Encouraging news about your father, Chris.
How'd things go yesterday about Robert?
J - thinking of you all

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Christine - 29 Sep 2007 00:46 GMT

>> Robert called today and told me the oncologist's office had called him to
>> remind him that he was to start a week of chemo yesterday. He said he
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
> How'd things go yesterday about Robert?
> J - thinking of you all

Hi J, and thanks for caring so much about us like you do. It truly helps me
through all of this. Robert is in bed again, he says he feels like he has a
bad case of the flu. No nausea though, and still no hair loss. Most of the
time after chemo, the bone pain will last about a week or two. He's not
even close to being finished with his week of chemo. It's hard for him to
even ride in the car with me. We have to carry a pillow for him, so he can
lean on it. He still can't staighten up because he can't breathe. The
doctor told me the chemo is for relief of his symptoms. His right lung is
completely gone. His left lung has tumors, and now his left shoulder is
hurting him. That's how the right one started. Since he's in Stage 4, and
I know there is no hope, I just wish he could breathe without having to
panic. There is some news on his cat. Without telling Robert, I found a
home for her after he leaves. He had talked about doing that, and I told
him I'd handle it. Miss Kitty will go to a retired older woman who lives
alone. She's lost her husband and 3 children to Huntington's Disease. At
one time all 3 of her children were in the nursing home together. She's
suffered so much loss, and is looking forward to Miss Kitty, although she
doesn't want Robert to die. She told me today, I hope I'm not being morbid,
but I bought the kitty some toys today. Her last cat lived to be 20. Miss
Kitty is 3. I know she will have a good home. Robert texted me and said
he's in severe pain, and the Morphine isn't working. I feel so bad, because
I can't help him that way. It seems that he never gets any relief.
I will keep you updated on how he gets along. I'm hoping he will be able to
breathe with his left lung better this time. I just hate that he has to
suffer so much with pain. He still doesn't want to know how much time he
has left. But I noticed today that he's lost weight. That worries me.
I'm finding myself being very tired. I'm having trouble sleeping, and
eating. I just hope I can keep going. I'm going to try. If I can't, I
will have to get someone in Robert's family to take him. I really hate to
do that, but if I get sick, I need a backup plan.
Thanks for your never ending care for us. You're truly a
blessing.........Warmly, Chris

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J - 29 Sep 2007 02:20 GMT

> Hi J, and thanks for caring so much about us like you do. It truly helps me
> through all of this. Robert is in bed again, he says he feels like he has a
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
> Thanks for your never ending care for us. You're truly a
> blessing.........Warmly, Chris

Hello Christine,
Sounds like you're staying with him to care for him?

I realize that the oncologist is trying to help him breathe and maybe it will
happen with the chemo (I don't know at this point), because now you seem to be
describing worsening of the other lung.

If you feel that he's panicking, perhaps the onc would prescribe a mild (dose
of) anti-anxiety medicine.
If you feel he's gasping for air, ask hospice to ask their doctor if you could
have Robert try a drop (or drops) of liquid morphine.
In addition, a morphine pump sounds like what is needed for his pain. It has to
be installed in hospital.
If he's having chemo tomorrow, ask about the anti-anxiety medicine and havve
them try some morphine drops and ask about a morphine pump. It may be that they
can continue the chemo in hospital while they sort these things out and you get
some rest for a few days, then continue with him hopefully more comfortable at
home.

I hear what you're saying about a backup plan. This really is too much for you.
Two caregivers are needed there. I know you're doing everything humanly
possible.
Hugs
J

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Figgertoes - 29 Sep 2007 05:53 GMT

>> Hi J, and thanks for caring so much about us like you do. It truly
>> helps me through all of this. Robert is in bed again, he says he
[quoted text clipped - 48 lines]
> Hugs
> J

Chris,

Is there anyone else in your congregation or social network who could
stay with Robert part of the time, giving you some needed relief? I
know you want to do all you can for him & it is all out of love &
caring. You need time away so you can maintain your own health & be
your best self for him, your father & the rest of your family.

I would ask about the liquid morphine for the breathing. Only the
liquid seems to work for that & it sometimes doesn't take very much,
And yes, the morphine pump can give more constant relief & might be
easier for you to administer than round-the-clock meds.

I remember how profoundly tiring the caregiving was, although I would do
it all again. Most of the time after Socks entered hospice care, there
were 2 of us caring for him & each other. Even with 2, with me working,
it was a demanding schedule, much more so than it would seem to be. You
need to get an uninterrupted good night's sleep regularly to deal with
all the rest & maintain sanity. Is that possible?

Most cancer patients lose weight. Would Robert drink whole milk or eat
ice cream? Socks consumed astonishing quantities of both, even near the
end, & they have lots of calories. Bananas are easy to digest. I found
he drank far more water & stayed hydrated better with the purchased
water bottles. I find that with myself too as you will squirt down much
more water than you would sip from a glass. Just a thought,

Take care of yourself, Chris. You could be caregiving for some time.

Fig

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