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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / August 2007

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irt Alex : re where on the internet people with cancer go

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Uncle Sally - 24 Aug 2007 17:50 GMT
Alex wrote :

"I wonder if people with cancer are finding other internet portals for
support. The postings are half was what they have been last year while
internet usage is up.  Going to a secured web page where people can use
their real names.   Usenet is known for being a free area and trying to
impose rules here ( even though they are not enforceable or endorsed by many
of the cancer patients here)."

Hi Alex,

It would be very interesting to know more about the "demographics" of who
uses this group, and who doesn't. I have not been around "here" long enough
to have a sense of what the usage patterns are and what influences them. I
suspect that somewhere, in some University or Teaching Medical Center,
someone is doing a thesis on forum use by people with cancer.

I would assume there are other forums for cancer patients or families on the
internet that are moderated and verification of "identity" is required ? The
thought occurs to me that I've never really looked to see if ACS at any
level (national, state, local chapters) sponsors moderated forums, or any
forums.

Many intelligent friends of mine have never heard of "usenet" still even
though they use the internet everyday for e-mail and for browsing web sites.
And many intelligent friends of mine, if they were in any form of medical
crisis, would never think about going on-line to discuss it. Well, okay,
yes, my friends and I are not of the IPod generation, or even GenX :)

An interesting arena for research :  are health care professionals in the
cancer "arena" actively informing people and/or encouraging them to use
interactive resources ? If I imagine myself a medical social worker once
more :) : I would certainly prioritize bringing cancer patients into "live"
support groups if possible, but for the isolated, the disabled, with access
to computer resources and the ability to type or someone to read or type for
them, I would definitely consider that a potentially valuable resource.

One hypothetical factor  : some people come here because of the relative
anonymity offered by the group. Often in crisis where they are desperate to
"tell their story" and connect with "friendly ears."

Another hypothetical factor : some people come here with a sense of "social
mission" for reasons they may or may not explain to the group. They want to
contribute because they've had cancer, or their spouses, relatives, friends
have had cancer, and they have learned a lot about it and want to help
others.

And like many other groups, networks form here, friendships develop,
polarities develop. I think that people coming here who observe the obvious
camaradie of some of the friends may be encouraged to view the group as a
"friendly" open place. Well, okay : make that another hypothesis. I think
it's been easy to see in this group where open conflict disturbs some of the
group members greatly. "Open conflict," by contrast in my experience in a
group like soc.culture.thai often led to valuable arguments that benefited
everyone ... when they didn't degenerate into the usual name-calling and
baiting : and some of these conflicts were actually praised by some group
members for the depth of the discussion.

The ACOR mailing list for Head and Neck cancers often has only a few
messages in it, but I read the bulletins "religiously" because there are
some great posts in them, particularly from "our very own" highly respected
Janet aka "Kellie Poodle." I think the ridiculously messy formatting of the
ACOR H&N list is a factor that would turn off many people : multiple
redundant ACOR signatures that distract you from the real content. When the
post about the esophageal ACOR list was made here, recently, I was surprised
by the extent of participation the poster described.

The most "successfull" moderated usenet group I know of is
rec.crafts.jewelery where the moderator has been performing a "labor of
love" for years, keeping the peace and screening posts. And the interests
craftspeople share in common is, imho, a powerful bond, and makes it
relatively easy (compared to a group like this) to distinguish between
what's on-topic and off-topic.

What's delightful to me is that this group is not over-run by trolls.
Soc.culture.thai used to be a really fun group for me to participate in :
about ten people really "made" the group : now it's so over-run with trolls
and flame wars it's not worth my time to visit and spend more time
kill-filing trolls than reading messages, and many of the old-time expat
posters, some of whom had mastery of the Thai language written and spoken to
a very high degree, have quit in disgust. Hope that doesn't happen here.

One thing for sure : if a usenet group is a "horse" : it's a horse that you
will never bridle. And that horse will change over time, guaranteed.

regards, Uncle Sally
Alex - 25 Aug 2007 01:29 GMT
On Aug 24, 12:50 pm, "Uncle Sally" <uncleSa...@auldUncleSally.com>
wrote:
> Alex wrote :
>
[quoted text clipped - 82 lines]
>
> regards, Uncle Sally

I  belong to several groups, many of them are breast cancer focused.
The require registration and some method of being approved on their
system.

One secured group is
http://www.cancercare.org/

I believe this group is run by medical social workers.

Another group I have been active on is

http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/support/

They required documentation that I had a cancer diagnosis to
participate, The is moderation via a trained professional.

MD Anderson has a web board, it is unclear to me whether or not you
have to be a MD Anderson patient.

Last is another page

http://www.cancerlinksusa.com/support/index.asp

I agree with many of the reasons you have cited for coming to the
usenet group, but  it seems that it's usage has dropped if you check
the google stats.... This groups can be an excellent means of support,
but in my opinion having a bunch of rules is a turn off to many who
are looking for answers.

Alex
Uncle Sally - 25 Aug 2007 04:31 GMT
Hi Alex,

Thanks for the links to the other groups ! I am going to take a look at them
to satisfy my own curiousity about what's available on-line for cancer
patients.

Alex wrote :

"it seems that it's usage has dropped if you check the google stats.... This
groups can be an excellent means of support, but in my opinion having a
bunch of rules is a turn off to many who
are looking for answers."

I think there could be so many explanations for a drop in use : seasonal
(people on vacation ?); natural fluctuations of the numbers of people
seeking a place like this which is really quite specialized and little
known, imho, for most people. And so forth.

You could also interpret a drop in use as an outcome of the group's purpose
becoming clearer : and so people whose needs don't "fit" here go elsewhere :
an unlikely hypothesis, imho, but an interesting one to keep in mind.

Your hypothesis (if I understand it correctly) is that some people visit
here and perceive this group as having a "bunch of rules" and are "turned
off," and go away, or don't post, or quit after one or two posts, if they
feel not welcomed or are responded to by someone telling them what the rules
are. I would guess that very few newcomers read the "charter" :  hypothesis.

In the short time I've been around "here" I have seen two or three
individuals apparently get their feelings hurt or whatever after their
initial posts, but, imho, in every case, the person came on the board in a
state of great vulnerability, needing reassurance, were perhaps
hyper-sensitive to comments, or missed the inherent humor in someone's
content.

So, I do think we, as a group, all of us, need to be particularly aware of
the potential vulnerability of newcomers who may be in crisis, who may need
acknowledgement and support first and re-direction and re-focusing, or
explanation of the "culture" (rules) of the group second.

best, Uncle Sally
Steph - 25 Aug 2007 09:23 GMT
> Hi Alex,
>
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
> seeking a place like this which is really quite specialized and little
> known, imho, for most people. And so forth.

The presence of Alex?
Alex - 25 Aug 2007 14:15 GMT
> > Hi Alex,
>
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
>
> - Show quoted text -

??????
J - 25 Aug 2007 01:33 GMT
> What's delightful to me is that this group is not over-run by trolls.
> Soc.culture.thai used to be a really fun group for me to participate in :
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> posters, some of whom had mastery of the Thai language written and spoken to
> a very high degree, have quit in disgust. Hope that doesn't happen here.

Thanks for confirming what I've been trying to get across to her for years now.
That newsgroups can be destroyed by crossposts and/or trolls.
I do my best, in a variety of ways to discourage such. She does little if
anything in that goal.
The 2 currently crossposting are persistant and I know of no solution, until
they fizzzle themselves out.
"Talking" to them does no good at all. Please do not try.

The messages are down from last year
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.cancer/about
BUT, if I recall correctly every summer, there's been a lot of trouble on this
newsgroup  = more posts.
This year I've been trying to avoid flames.
Also a number of people are travelling. Mike R and Steph don't post as much.
4 or 5 regulars are on their "home" newsgroups talking about their fav topics.
I've been posting less.
All 'round I don't think this newsgroup's doing too badly.
AND many other newsgroups, which don't have "rules" are also slow.
She complains if there's too much posts, too little, whatever, she's never happy
(IMO)
Take care, Uncle Sally,
J
Uncle Sally - 25 Aug 2007 04:17 GMT
J wrote :

"All 'round I don't think this newsgroup's doing too badly. AND many other
newsgroups, which don't have "rules" are also slow."

Hi J,

I agree with you about this group : I think it's doing "goodly," and even
"better" than that !

The "big picture" for me is the ways we find to connect with each other and
give and receive support across time, space, cultural backgrounds,
lifestyles. Yes, there are some abrasions along the way, some loss-of-face
(the Thai language has specific words for eight different levels of "loss of
face"), some egg on face, but we rumble on, I think, to being more than the
sum of our parts.

Usenet groups, regardless of charter, once on-line have no formal mechanism
whatsoever for regulating content posted by folks; it's the wild-wild-west.

So to create an island of relative sanity where people in crisis, or just
curious, or looking for information to help a relative or spose, can come
and get acknowldedgement, support, information, referrals ... is a damn good
thing.

I do think the advice to "lurk for a week" before posting, for this group,
is not needed. And I do think we need to be continually aware of how
newcomers to the group can be easily off-put or retreat from participation
if there first post(s) are not responded to in a very welcoming way.

best, Uncle Sally
Paul - 25 Aug 2007 12:10 GMT
The reason posts are dropping so drastically is due to the derogatory way
that people like myself are treated when they are hoping for an open and
friendly discussion about alternative (non-allopathic)ways of dealing with
cancer. Some of us refuse to accept the death sentence our oncologists
give us. Some of us are atheists and see no future in death. So we fight,
and we fight damned hard to try and explore other avenues. In our search,
we occasionally come to groups such as this in order to find like minded
people for (hopefully) an exchange of views and a bit of companionship
with fellow cancer victims. We soon find out our mistake. People like 'J'
and steph soon make sure of that!
Oh, by the way,you'll be pleased to know that I'm another one who's just
given up this group as a bad job! Goodbye.
Alex - 25 Aug 2007 14:15 GMT
> The reason posts are dropping so drastically is due to the derogatory way
> that people like myself are treated when they are hoping for an open and
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> Oh, by the way,you'll be pleased to know that I'm another one who's just
> given up this group as a bad job! Goodbye.

I can understand you feelings, Alex
Steph - 25 Aug 2007 16:38 GMT
> The reason posts are dropping so drastically is due to the derogatory way
> that people like myself are treated when they are hoping for an open and
> friendly discussion about alternative (non-allopathic)ways of dealing with
> cancer.

Open? You just hear what you want to hear, and disregard the rest, as the
man said

> Some of us refuse to accept the death sentence our oncologists
> give us.

Don't confuse your oncologist with the disease.

> Some of us are atheists and see no future in death. So we fight,
> and we fight damned hard to try and explore other avenues.

That's fine, but it doesn't make fairy tales any more true.

> In our search,
> we occasionally come to groups such as this in order to find like minded
> people for (hopefully) an exchange of views and a bit of companionship
> with fellow cancer victims. We soon find out our mistake. People like 'J'
> and steph soon make sure of that!

Your mistake is confusing facts and fantasy.

> Oh, by the way,you'll be pleased to know that I'm another one who's just
> given up this group as a bad job! Goodbye.

I rest my case
J - 25 Aug 2007 19:52 GMT
> The reason posts are dropping so drastically is due to the derogatory way
> that people like myself are treated when they are hoping for an open and
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> Oh, by the way,you'll be pleased to know that I'm another one who's just
> given up this group as a bad job! Goodbye.

I'm sorry you're angry and disappointed, Paul.

I saw this coming, from a mile away, from your first post and the webpage you
posted, in that message.
You're not the first to leave for those reasons. Some, or their loved ones,
came back to tell us we were right.
Some didn't, but I've seen their loved ones on other newsgroups. Whatever they
chose "altie" did not work.

I'm sure you'll find companionship somewhere out there.
I'll be here, caring.
Goodbye. Take care.
J
PS Sorry I"m late. I've just spent hours exploring altie suggestions on a
webpage Alex posted today.
I've seen them all before and/or some of the people on that web page did a
great job of critiquing and debunking the ones I hadn't bothered with before.
I've spent many days and hours searching and coming up empty.
If I knew of something "altie" or "allopathic"  that would cure or extend your
life, I would have told you by now.
Alex - 26 Aug 2007 03:30 GMT
> > The reason posts are dropping so drastically is due to the derogatory way
> > that people like myself are treated when they are hoping for an open and
[quoted text clipped - 29 lines]
> If I knew of something "altie" or "allopathic"  that would cure or extend your
> life, I would have told you by now.

I did not suggest any altie groups. Sorry if  you wasted your time J,
when you don't have cancer may of these sites do not wanted people
without cancer posting.
I am saying many cancer patients are electing to go to moderated pages
where there is so form of moderation, which usenet is not. For
example, Jack was sent to a melonoma web site. I think it is up to the
health care team who can  do a clinical evaluation to tell you a
treatment plan not a usenet site......

The wellness community you could not explore unless you doctor
confirmed a cancer diagnosis.
The other site is also for cancer patients which you do not have a
cancer diagnosis.....

Uncle Sally...

Those are some of the site I would send people to....the Wellness
Community is posted in most of my area hospitals.

Another site

http://www.fightingchance.org/eCounseling.php

Like in real life, you have to choose a group you feel comfortable
with.....doesn't mean one is better than another. Usenet is open so
you can't even be sure who you are really talking to, being faceless
is a two edge sword
Alex - 25 Aug 2007 14:13 GMT
> > What's delightful to me is that this group is not over-run by trolls.
> > Soc.culture.thai used to be a really fun group for me to participate in :
[quoted text clipped - 25 lines]
> Take care, Uncle Sally,
> J

I have nothing against trying to limit trolls, Mike and Steph are not
cancer patients. I agree the group is doing ok, and mostly by not
having rules rammed down one's throat all the time.

The posts I find most interesting are from fellow cancer patients
since they have walked in my shoes,
Alex
csm7532@hotmail.com - 27 Aug 2007 19:45 GMT
> > > What's delightful to me is that this group is not over-run by trolls.
> > > Soc.culture.thai used to be a really fun group for me to participate in :
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
> I have nothing against trying to limit trolls, Mike and Steph are not
> cancer patients.

I also have nothing against trying to limit trolls, although I'll warn
that any response to a troll is unlikely to discourage same.  FWIW,
whether Steph is a patient or not is immaterial to me.  He's a great
source of information, and interesting opinions---no need to agree
with him to enjoy reading his posts.  I'm not sure who you mean by
Mike, so I'll not comment on that.  This group isn't just for
patients, but also for family & friends of patients, and for car
providers.  Are you trying to impose your own rules, or am I
misreading you?

> I agree the group is doing ok, and mostly by not
> having rules rammed down one's throat all the time.

Reading posts is a great way to tell who's worth listening to, and who
should be relegated to the killfile or otherwise ignored.  This is
harder for those without a newsreader, but still quite doable.

> The posts I find most interesting are from fellow cancer patients
> since they have walked in my shoes,

We all walk in our own shoes, even if we get our shoes from the same
store.  My experiences are unique.  Having said that, I'll add that I
also look for those with more similarity.

> Alex

I have no intention of imposing any rule on you, but I am probably not
the only one to find it occasionally confusing that some handles
(yours included) seem to be shared.  One option would be to add an
initial, fake last name, or other word.  For example, there are
probably several "Sally"s here (I haven't checked), but only one Uncle
Sally.  If someone else used the initials CSM (either case), I'd
probably change to something like "The Patient Formerly Known as
CSM".  Just a thought.

---
CSM
 
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