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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / February 2007Penny's journal
I finally found Penny's journal that I had saved in my favorites when I joined this ng after my husband's diagnosis. At that time I saved it, I was working two jobs and didn't have time to read it so saved it because I just knew I should. Just a feeling. Yesterday, I got up early and started readng Penny. By way after noon, I was still glued to my computer, soaking up every word Penny wrote. Although she was going through the most catastrophic era of her life, she still took the time to write something that I believe is a blessing for many. I never knew her in the ng. She was gone to another phase of life by the time I got here, but I wish I had been here when she was. She was and still is inspiring. I hope someone close to her converts her words into a book or even adapts it into a screenplay. It's all about courage and so much love ... we need to see more of that in this world. My husband's experience is almost identical to Penny's except he doesn't have the strength to travel and enjoy life like she did when she was able. Even at her lowest points, she still got around and lived life to the fullest. My hubby's cancer was very widespread when it was discovered. He's been too weak from day one to do much of anything. When I got to the part where Penny had the choice of more chemo to give her a few more months, I was cheering for her, "Yes, go for it, Girl!" And I wonder why she chose not to. I have seen what chemo does to my husband, so I can understand, but still I wondered. She was a person who loved life, she never seemed to think of herself as much as she did those around her. Her journal taught me a lot, showed me more about the roller coaster my husband is on, and I believe that was her objective ... to help others in any way that she could. She is truly an angel. Thank you for leading me to her site. I never really knew her, yet I feel that I made a new friend. Her charisma will be here on earth forever, and where she is now, I envision her glowing and happy with a halo of baby's breath and tiny lavender flowers in her hair, wearing a flowing soft white on white lacy gown, barefoot/French pedicure and ready to greet newcomers, giving them peace. God surely made her Heaven's hostess. love love, Giuditta > I finally found Penny's journal that I had saved in my favorites when > I joined this ng after my husband's diagnosis. At that time I saved [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > love love, > Giuditta That's the sense many of us got from gettng to know Penny. Annie & I met her in person. She is an incredible spirit & truly did LIVE with cancer. I will email her sister, Trish, ask her to read what you wrote. Part of Penny's blog was printed in the Edmonton paper, but it deserves wider distribution. I really think it could help others as it apparently is helping you. Here's Annie's blog. Her son has cml. Not as close to your situation as Penny, but the feelings & what we go through can be similar. It's amazing to me that people can lay it out there - all of it - with such honesty. We all have meltdowns at times. Reading through these blogs give me a sense of the resilience of the human spirit. And the contemporaneous writing, over time, gives a more realistic picture than a summary written later, when the details & concerns/joys of the moment can be forgotten. Both Penny & Annie had/have a desire to make the world better by sharing their experiences & by raising public awareness & increasing research funding. http://www.livingwithcml.blogspot.com My husband also blogged, but his was before the on-line ones. His friends/family could find it on his website. Sometimes he would communicate to me through it. When he got a tough piece of news, he found it easier to tell me he'd just updated his blog than to tell me the news. I would read, absorb, deal with it & save him the emotional pain of talking about it just then. Fig >> I finally found Penny's journal that I had saved in my favorites when >> I joined this ng after my husband's diagnosis. At that time I saved [quoted text clipped - 71 lines] > > Fig What is cml? I will read the blog. It must be nice to have your husband's writings. Mine has a tablet beside him, but I don't think he will write anything, and he's never been on a computer...I do wish he would write a bit and just let us know what he's thinking and feeling. All he really says is that he has faith that the cancer is not going to stay, and he doesn't say he's afraid for himself, just for us. You got it right when you mentioned that Penny's writing laid it out there. She had a knack for it, a true talent that brings the reader into her world to experience her joys in life as opposed to focusing on the negative. I know that you got to meet her from her journal (blog?). She sounded so excited about that day. I think I said that she made me feel as though I knew her, and I feel a sense of loss not having ever met her online even. If I were her sister and wanted to get her words out there, I would submit installments to a magazine like maybe Oprah's, or she could get a book called Writers' Market, which has hundreds of magazines listed where a writer can send in material. She could also send it to her town newspaper as well. I think I remember that she was from Edmonton, Alberta or was it Calgary? I'm not real familiar with Canadian cities and all the provinces like I should be, but my husband was married before to a girl from there named Leigh Shantz. I think they called her Leora, and I believe she had a brother named Tommy. They had a ranch there and a home in the city. I am wondering if the families know each other. She married a doctor and moved to St. Louis, but her mom and brother still live in Canada. My husband lived there for a couple of years before going to Nashville and getting into the country music scene. He has been having a lot of pain today, which he says is in his stomach, and it radiates to his back. I'm afraid it's really the location of his liver that he's talking about. I think his cancer was mets more when it was diagnosed than Penny's was ... correct me if I'm wrong. I think of Penny's husband, children and other family members and I know it had to be hell for them to see her suffering and in pain at the end. I'm so afraid of that. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't even find the words for it. My daughter asked me yesterday, "Mom, if Dad dies, are you going to just die too?" I was mortified because they only talk about him getting well. I think she's afraid that I won't be able to handle it and that I'll waste away and not care to live without him. I told her of course not, I have children still here and that Dad would NOT want me to do that. Then she started crying. You know, God has given me strength through many sad events, and I cannot even imagine going through losing my husband and best friend. I try not to think about that. I just know I will have to be strong for our children because if that happens, they will all fall apart. Why are moms always expected to be the strong ones? I'm sorry if I've depressed you with my sad comments...please forgive. Hugs to you, Fig, Giuditta >>> I finally found Penny's journal that I had saved in my favorites >>> when I joined this ng after my husband's diagnosis. At that time I [quoted text clipped - 135 lines] > Hugs to you, Fig, > Giuditta You're right. It is comforting to have his writings here. Sometimes I find mysdlf keeping the strangest things - just lists & things of no particular consequence just knowing he formed every thought & letter. I can't keep every little scrap, but it's hard to turn loose of some. I heard from Penny's sister this afternoon,& she said she replied to you, but I don't see the post. Did she email you instead? If not, I'll email her back & let her know her post didn't come through. Those are wonderful ideas for publishing Penny's writings. I hope the family can explore them so more people can benefit from what she wrote. I need to finish some things before it gets too dark so must run for now. You don't depress me at all. Take care, Giuditta, Fig > I finally found Penny's journal that I had saved in my favorites when > I joined this ng after my husband's diagnosis. At that time I saved [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > love love, > Giuditta Giuditta, Penny's sister Trish tried to post to you but I can't see it, so Trish emailed me her post & I have copied it below: Giuditta, As I sit to write, I've had to read your post a few times. Soaking in what you wrote, tears in my eyes and I want to thank you for sharing. I know how she touched so many people during her journey and you were right in that all she wanted was to help others with their own. She definitely did put others before herself many times over. Not only during this time in her life but throughout it. To read what you wrote touched me so much because it shows she's STILL doing that. I, myself, still go and read past posts. I look to see where she was at a year ago that day. From maybe a selfish standpoint, I needed to read your words. Needed to know that her love, strength and words haven't been lost and forgotten. That meant so much to me. More then you can know. And you are right in that they should and need to be preserved and shared in a far greater manner then the blog. Annie, the dear that she is, printed and bound copies of the blog and mailed them to my family. It is different holding that book and reading her words then reading if off the screen on the computer. The strength just hasn't been there though to pursue doing something like that further. Yet. I think over the last few months each of my family has gone into our own quiet spaces, still missing her tremendously, hurting and processing the whole experience. There is a huge hole in my family and probably always will be. A book is something I also thought about a year ago, and with her blessing, I had started incorporating her journey from her blog into one that not only shows her's but myself and my famiy's as a whole as well. She often said that this was a family journey as well as her own. And it definitely was. Admittedly though, there are times that I work on it and long period of times that I need to let it sit. Reliving the ups and downs and bringing all the emotions back to the surface can be difficult. She always encouraged me to write and wanted me to finish this. Hopefully one day I can. Penny's choice to not have chemo again was made looking at quality of life rather then the quantity of time she'd have left. She felt having the chemo again would limit her ability to spend time with those she loved and to do as much as possible as it left her weak and secluded in her home during the times she was weak and vulnerable. She knew the reality of the situation and accepted her time was limited. So to her living as full of a life with cancer with whatever time she had was more important. Thank you Fig for letting me know about this post. Although I still peek in from time to time, especially checking up on the regulars and those that knew her, I've found it too difficult to do it too often. I'm glad I didn't miss this one. And thank you so much Giuditta for sharing this. I hope you don't mind me copying your post and sending it to my family. I know they will be touched as well. I will keep your husband, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Love to all, Trish >> I finally found Penny's journal that I had saved in my favorites when >> I joined this ng after my husband's diagnosis. At that time I saved [quoted text clipped - 104 lines] > Love to all, > Trish Trish, of course I don't mind you sharing my post. I just sent Penny's blog to a dear online friend who lost her daughter to cancer. I told her about the newsgroup, too. Penny's writing will live on and so will her gentle, caring aura. I don't know your beliefs, but I strongly believe you'll all see her again and that I will meet her some day. I don't think God put us all here just to live, die and that's it ... not the God that I know. The way I think about it, with my parents and little sister gone, is that a piece of myself is looking at the Lord right now. When my mm died (malignant brain tumor), she had been in a coma for about three months. I'll back up ... the doctors kept saying that she had a sinus infection and were treating her for that. Finally, I took her to another doctor who noticed that she walked with a certain gait that the dr. had seen before in patients with brain tumors...she had the test done, and when we went for the results, the dr. called me into the room while my mom was in the waiting area, and she showed me the results of the CT scan. I was in shock, had to go out and face my mother and wanted to scream and cry, but I just told her that they were still discussing the results and left it at that. It was the hottest day of the summer, and my mom and I went to the car, I put the key in the ignition, and the thing wouldn't start. It was pure hell. I took my mom back into the dr.'s office where she would be comfortable and called my teenage daughter and niece who came and picked us up... They were acting silly with my mom like always, having fun with her, and she even let them turn on their radio station when usually they would sing gospel music together...the girls were delighted that my mom was enjoying their music, and I was in my own little world, praying that we could get home fast so I could flip out. I was scared and didn't tell anyone my mom's diagnosis until the next day. It was three days before I got the nerve to tell my dad, and it was only because he was complaining about tax records she was making mistakes on for their restaurants...I finally screamed at him that she had a freakin' brain tumor...no doubt she was having a hard time thinking about numbers... I took my mom to a neuro dr., who said surgery could save her, and I believed every word he said. My mom was admitted to the hospital, unaware that she had a brain tumor, thought it was for more testing. Surgery was scheduled, and I stayed with her day and night until the night before surgery. My sister took over that night so I could get home and check on my children who had been fending for themselves while their dad was on the road... My regret is that I never told my mom that she had a brain tumor. The doctors didn't know that it was malignant until they got into the surgery. I assumed that they would get the tumor out and that she would be fine. I was a big chicken sh.t ... my mother was full of fear, and I just couldn't tell her, and my dad was no help. The doctor told her that she had lesions on the brain that they were removing. She didn't have a clue what lesions were. She never regained full consciousness and then went into a coma. I went to nursing school in the daytime and stayed with her at night right by her bed, talking to her, praying that she'd wake up...I brought music, I did her nails, make-up, anything to hopefully wake her up... She died four months after surgery. For two years I cried every night because I missed her and because of the guilt I felt for not being honest with her. One night a study friend called me, it was Easter Eve, and he asked what I was doing. I told him I was all alone, dying Easter eggs because I didn't have a mother anymore...the kids had gone to bed, my husband was on the road, and I started to cry again.... My friend told me bluntly, "We only feel as bad as we want to feel." Those words snapped me out of the mourning the grieving and the hell I had been living in for two long years, and I realized that my mom would not want me like that. In an instant, that pain in my soul was gone and filled with happy thoughts of my mother. It was so good to think of her and not feel like sobbing all night... I even felt closer to her like she was right beside me, telling me that she was okay. In saying all that, what you had with Penny was a blessing. She was aware of her condition, and you could talk and share a quality of life that you'll always cherish, and you have words from her heart. I wish I had been strong enough to put it all out there for my mom. She might have wanted to tell us things but never had the opportunity. And I have no writings from her ... we moved in with my dad to help him, and one month after my mom died, their home burned to the ground ... we all got out, so that was a blessing, but everything of my mom's is gone except her Bible, and there was not a scorch on it...weird huh. I know I am making this post too long, but I have to tell you this, and I'll try to make it brief as possible...when the fire started, my husband and I were downstairs..we heard an explosion upstairs, which was where our family had been living...our five-year-old daughter,. Mimi, always played upstairs with her dolls in her little room that we had made into a miniature doll house... When we heard the crash, we thought a bookcase or something had fallen over on Mimi, so we raced for the stairs...when we got there, flames were shooting down toward us, but we both started up in search of our daughter...in the middle of the stairway, we both did an about-face and headed outside. Mimi was there holding our two puppies in her arms...she had been outside (she never went outside alone) playing with the new puppies... Back to the stairway...the reason we both retreated back downstairs and didn't plunge up into the burning top floor where we surely would have perished, looking for Mimi, was that I heard my husband say that Mimi was outside, and he heard me say that she was outside...neither of us had said that. He didn't know and I didn't know that she was not on the burning top floor...but a voice saved our lives...We believe that it was my mom even though the voices sounded like our own... When we got outside, we asked each other how we knew Mimi was outside...I said, "You told me." He said, "No, YOU told me." Neither of us had said a word. So, I know my mom is still with us, watching over us...to me, that was a sign. I will always believe that. There have been other signs, but I won't make this post a novel. I know that I have said on here that I haven't had any experiences with cancer, and I really haven't where chemo was involved or where we were actively included in the "roller coaster ride." My mom's primary site was in her brain, and that was in 1985. I feel that now she could have been saved...with the new technology. Please forgive the long-winded post ... maybe I just had to get a few things off my chest and, hey, you were it. Do you know what I'm afraid of? I'm afraid of making the same mistake with my husband. I already know the poor prognosis, and we haven't discussed anything except his belief that the chemo is working (which it is), and that he'll be healed. The onc says he's doing fine and that his cancer has shrunk (shrank?, etc) and that he looks a lot better than when he got the diagnosis, but he still gives a poor prognosis, but I don't think my husband knows that ... he doesn't get online, so he won't learn from the Internet, he watches sports on TV or listens to our sons' music tracks, so he won't learn on them ... our children are in denial or maybe just have tremendous faith like he does...so it will be up to me unless the onc has a serious talk with him...he might already have and I just don't know it... Be thankful that you and your sister were able to share reality and love like you knew that you had to take advantage of every moment ... we don't have that here just like I didn't with my mom... I am so full of guilt...it wasn't fair of me even though I honestly believed she was going to come out of surgery well...I had no idea that the tumor was malignant... Please put Penny's words out there. I think that many people will profit from them. My fire story is published in a book of short stories, and I got responses from people who were given hope, so I know if my quirky writing can get out there, Penny's surely will. She had a gift, a way with words, and I think she left you something to share. God Bless, Giuditta > > > Fig...what happened to your post? Today Don has blood checked to see if he gets his last round of chemo this week...he's been in more pain this weekend...have to get to work...wish I could afford to take off work and take him myself...my son and daughter will, but I still feel like I should be there. Have a blessed day! G > Fig...what happened to your post? > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Have a blessed day! > G There wasn't a post. I'd just forgotten to relabel the one previous so people would know it came from Trish. I hope they get Don's pain meds adjusted. It's constant adjustments sometimes to get it right with no pain but not zonked either. Is he keeping a med/pain log? When he took what & when the pain occurs & its intensity? Also helps to note anything he was doing or had just done when pain occured. Helps the docs get the pain meds right. Only 4 work days until the weekend! Hugs, Fig >> Fig...what happened to your post? >> [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Hugs, > Fig I love your attitude...it's like your cup is half full instead of half empty..."Only 4 work days until the weekend!" I love that. Yes, we have been keeping a log, but yesterday I looked at it, and I noticed that Don nor my daughter had written anything on it...I am not here all day to do that but try to keep up on weekends...then today when I got home, he had made entries... Today my daughter wasn't feeling well, she has hidredenitis (a disease of the apocrine glands), and there are times that it flares up, and she's in a lot of pain...it's incurable, and she's had 11 surgeries for it since she was in high school and four surgeries in the past year and a half... So, anyway, our son took Don today for the blood work and doctor's appt. His RBCs weren't built up enough for chemo today, so they are waiting for next week to see if it's better. I think it was good for our son to take Don because I don't think he realized what a strain it's been on Mimi to be taking care of everything while I'm at work. Donnie (our son) is usually on the road playing his gigs, and he just needs to be helping her. She doesn't ever complain, but she tires easily too because of the HS. Don said that when the doctor was talking, that Donnie just listened where as Mimi asks a lot of questions, and when the doctor finished, Donnie just asked, "So is he getting better?" And the doctor said, "Yes, that's what I've been telling y'all." Okay...his blood count is low, too low for chemo...his pain is worse, he's weak as a newborn kitten ... am I just ignorant of what's going on around me...what's up with that? Does that sound better to you? Lord God, I hope he is. Am I analyzing everything too much? His WBC count is okay...his HCT (?) is a couple of numbers too low, and I don't know what the RBC count is because Mimi had it in her wallet, which we can't find right now, which has my bank card in it...oh joy... What next? Giuditta P.S. My editor wants me to write a column again for the paper, and I think he's going to let me publish the journal that I have been keeping on my husband's experience with C. But I don't know if I am smart enough about what's going on to do it. >>> Fig...what happened to your post? >>> [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > husband's experience with C. But I don't know if I am smart enough about > what's going on to do it. Fig, I just found the lab report...see what you think about these stats... RBC Low 2.61 HGB Low 8.0 HCT Low 24.1 RDW High 19.9 PLT Low 33. Now, a question: When his WBC count was low, he was told not to be around people who could have a cold or whatever, so he wants to know if it also goes for these low counts because a music friend is coming in town Thursday, and they want to go to our son's gig...I am so happy that Don actually feels like he might want to get out of the house that I am hoping that he can go. I'll call his onc tomorrow and ask but just wondered what you think. It seems that nothing slowed Penny down, but I don't remember her saying a lot about her chemo or if she was on it this long. He started his November 8, and this would have been his sixth round this week. Thanks for any comment you have on this... Giuditta "> Fig, > I just found the lab report...see what you think about these stats... > RBC Low 2.61 > HGB Low 8.0 > HCT Low 24.1 > RDW High 19.9 > PLT Low 33. The best people to ask these questions are qualified health professionals, people who are licensed to practice. As far as infection control, you didn't post the most critical measure which is the WBC.....and most oncologists take the wbc one step further and calculate ANC number. Here is a link... Best advice, is wash your hands, have your husband wash his hands frequently, have plenty of purell or similar around, and ask qualified people for help. > "> Fig, >> I just found the lab report...see what you think about these stats... [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > frequently, have plenty of purell or similar around, and ask qualified > people for help. I didn't see the WBC count, but the dr. said that it was okay, and he doesn't have to get that shot for it anymore...I understand what you're saying and know I need to ask professionals, but most the time I get more straight answers from you guys... Thanks for the advice though, G > I didn't see the WBC count, but the dr. said that it was okay, and he > doesn't have to get that shot for it anymore...I understand what you're > saying and know I need to ask professionals, but most the time I get more > straight answers from you guys... Good to hear that Don's WBC count's okay. Penny had a message for others here about the WBC's (she ended up in hospital) and actually other messages. I culled them and compiled from her blog and newsgroup posts. Hopefully easier than you or others trying to find them in her many posts.. Which also shows she was on cisplatin, then switched to carboplatin. Then went on to a clincial trial. That was in Fall, 2005 So the first (below) is a roll call summary of sorts. The rest I hope are in sequence. J Subject: Roll Call July/06 - SCLC DX June 24, 2005 Date: 30 Jul 2006 07:38:29 -0700 From: "Pen" Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer Small Cell Lung Cancer, dx June 24/05. 4 cycles of chemo, ending Sept 30/05 5 days of radiation the week before Christmas 3 months of vacation time and travelling, Jan - March 3 days of radiation in April for palliative purposes Now on palliative/home care. Trying to get the pain meds correct. Not having much luck in doing so. Cheers Penny http://pensclc.blogspot.com/ July 13, 2005 Well, the chemo through me for a loop. I never thought I would be as sick as I was. Saturday and Sunday were really bad. Monday a little better but not great. Tuesday was a lot better and today even better yet. Still tired a little nauseous but that's it. I just wasn't prepared for how terrible I would feel and so quickly. Still waiting for hear when the next CT scan is July 14, 2005 Bad news - mets were found in the rib - no radiation - no cure - maybe 6 months July 20, 2005 Talked to the oncologist today and he wants me to continue with chemo. Without it I'd have a few months at most. With it, maybe a year. He said the quality of life is also better. July 27, 2005 Had to put chemo off for a week, white blood count still too low. Sept 22, 2005 Changed my chemo to carboplatin from cisplatin and it was so much better. Go for my last treatment next week and onto a trial. October 12, 2005 Having mixed feelings about the chemo being over. It means we have done all that we can do and now the cancer will just take it's course. Nothing left to fight it with except prayer. Leaving for Vegas this Saturday. That will be fun. Then will have to wait for other trips as the trial will be keeping me at home for a couple of months. That is also frustrating as time is just way to short. Date: Thu, 13 Oct 2005 16:09:33 GMT From: "Pen" Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer I have been following the group for some time, since I was diagnosed in May this year of small cell lung cancer. This is my first posting here. At first we thought it was limited but further test reveled that it had spread to a rib bone, adrenal gland and a couple of lymph nodes. I have recently completed my final cycle of chemo and will be going on a trial drug shortly. Tests have shown that the original tumor has disappeared however a second tumor in the lung has remained the same. I am scheduled for another CT scan in a couple of weeks. I have been told to expect the cancer to come back within the next 2 -4 months and my oncologist will not push chemo again at that point. From that point, it's a matter of time. Subject: Our Vegas Trip Cancelled Date: Sun, 16 Oct 2005 17:53:41 GMT From: "Pen" Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer Well, here I am, in the hospital and our trip to Vegas cancelled. Thankfully I got travel insurance so we will be able to reschedule our trip. Was a dumb idea to take it at this time anyway when I knew my white blood count would be low! :) Wanted to share this with you as it is a hard lesson learned. I had been so careful after my chemo treatments during my low point of my immune system with all the previous cycles of chemo until this last one. Thought I'd had it beat and didn't take the precautions I should of. Ended up getting a fever on Friday night and admitted to the hospital. They can't find what I've caught but are giving me antibiotics intravenously every 8 hours and after 4 doses the fever is finally gone. The doctor is waiting until my white blood count goes up to 200 before they will send me home so it looks like I'll be in here for a couple more days. The count is currently at 100 and normal is 500. So, please don't get slack, take care of yourself during those chemo treatments! You don't want to be where I am. :) Cheers, Penny November 1, 2005 For those "inquiring" minds, the trial I am on is called NCIC BR20 and the drug is called ZD6474. (in case you would like to look it up). What they say it does is stops the formation of new blood vessels which means the cancer has nothing to feed on and so, slows down the growth of the cancer. I will not know if I am taking the real thing or the placebo. The side effects are pretty minimal and the oncologist said he often can't tell which his patients are on due to that. One thing he did mention was that the Cross Cancer Institute is one of the leading centers for trial testing and thus we have access to some of the best treatments, doctors, etc. I'm very lucky to be living here and to be receiving treatment at the Cross. <probably more in the blog for 2006 - travelling before and after Christmas> Date: 15 Jul 2006 07:31:46 -0700 From: "Pen" I truly understand your feelings at the moment. After I was finished treatment and was told to come back in 2 months, then again, come back in 2 months, there was the feeling of hopelessness. This is it, this is all that can be done so now I can go home and wait to die or I can go home and live. I've been trying to do the living thing to the best of my ability. It was easier when we were in the midst of fighting the cancer that's for sure. My heart goes out to you and your family! Penny Date: 18 Jul 2006 From: "Pen" Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer The ultrasound has shown that the cancer is spreading pretty quickly now. It shows the cancer in a lot of the lymph nodes around the lower chest, upper abdomin area and that is what is causing my pain. Some of it is on my rib bones so he's pretty sure those are bone mets too. I'm scheduled for a pain clinic tomorrow for 5 hours to work out a way to manage the pain. 'The oncologist will transfer my file to them, who, will in return, transfer it to a GP that works on palliative care. He said that the small cell cancer is on the move, once it does that it usually happens fairly quickly. Median time frame for survival at this point is 6 - 8 weeks. He did say I've done amazingly well up to this point. Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2006 14:44:41 GMT From: "Pen" Newsgroups: alt.support.cancer I do believe that I'm getting the best care possible. Remember, I asked them not to do anything to prolong life, strictly to make life tolerable. Give me only what will keep me the most comfortable for the next while. Thats all that I ask for. >> I didn't see the WBC count, but the dr. said that it was okay, and he >> doesn't have to get that shot for it anymore...I understand what you're [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > The rest I hope are in sequence. > J Thank you for the summary. She touches my heart. Her situation is so similar to my husband's. She was a strong lady, so strong. I miss her and didn't even know her. weird, huh? G > Subject: Roll Call July/06 - SCLC DX June 24, 2005 > Date: 30 Jul 2006 07:38:29 -0700 [quoted text clipped - 171 lines] > only what will keep me the most comfortable for the next while. Thats all > that I ask for. >>>> Fig...what happened to your post? >>>> [quoted text clipped - 95 lines] > > Giuditta Giuditta, I don't know about blood count numbers - sorry to disappoint. They may not be the only consideration anyway. It is exciting that Don wants to go out to something fun. I would call the doc & ask what precautions he could take. He could wear a medical mask like I think J suggested long ago. Or maybe that's not necessary. Would here be smoking that could bother him? Well, now 3 days till the w/e! I love Monday holidays for that! Hugs, Fig >>>>> Fig...what happened to your post? >>>>> [quoted text clipped - 110 lines] > Hugs, > Fig Fig, I'm like you ... I'm overjoyed that Don is talking about getting out and hope he can go. The gig is at a casino, so I'm thinking there will be smoking, but I don't know if it will be as smoky as a club. The dr. mentioned at a recent visit that he could play a gig as long as he was six feet from smoke...Don said there were electric fans he could put on each side of his drums that will draw the smoke away...news to me...but what do I know about that, nothing. I want him to enjoy life though...and music is his passion. Maybe it will help him more than medicine. Now, I have another problem. Our teenage son, Cheyenne, told me yesterday that every time he leaves the apartment he gets nervous and has had some panic attacks...I asked the mental health counselors at my school if I should take him for counseling, and they asked if he could talk to his brothers and sisters about it. I told them he didn't even want me to mention it to them...he and I are close, and we talk about everything, but he's a lot younger than than his siblings, and sometimes I don't think they can relate to him about certsin things...they love him but forget how they were as teens... He's so worried about his dad, but at the same time feels that he will beat this. Sweet Jesus, what else? I woke up at 4 a.m., thinking it was Saturday for some reason and felt so cheated when I realized it was just Wed. and then I thought about your comment and felt better...thanx! Have a glorious day, Giuditta > Now, I have another problem. Our teenage son, Cheyenne, told me yesterday > that every time he leaves the apartment he gets nervous and has had some [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > He's so worried about his dad, but at the same time feels that he will beat > this. There's probably a support group for teens whose parent has cancer, at the hospital. Really what he needs is a trustworthy, "father-type" figure to pick him up some mornings early, grab a fast food breakfast, go shoot hoops or eat in the car, while watching the sunrise and lissten to your son. Go fishing, but listen and be there, whatever your son wants to do. Same, alternate days, go with him to school events, meet him at school, stop somewhere for a soda and listen to him,l take interest in his school homework and projects and be there with him, on a regular basis. Suggestions are difficult for us because we don't know his interests, his school topics, his schedule, but surely there's a trust worthy male who can spend some time with your son, on a regular basis? There's also "Big Brother" program. Ask at the hospital first. J >> Now, I have another problem. Our teenage son, Cheyenne, told me yesterday >> that every time he leaves the apartment he gets nervous and has had some [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > Ask at the hospital first. > J Good suggestions. Isn't that sad that Cheyenne has three brothers and would have to be in a big brother program? I think it is. He's a private person although he has friends and is also a musician, and has been writing some mighty sad musical scores recently. He has a Godfather, and I haven't asked him to take over with him because he's had a lot of problems with his own teenager (drugs, etc.), so I haven't wanted to bother him. Cheyenne has been home schooled since last year because he wasn't having time for his music. That might sound lame, but music is all my husband and older son have ever done as a profession, so that's all Cheyenne has been exposed to, and he's so good at it that we know that will also be his career. He has the same girlfriend that he has had a crush on since second grade, and they act like an old married couple, and he has friends and his band, so I am hoping that he will share his feelings with some of them. One of the musician's mom passed away a couple of years ago, so I know that he can identify with what Cheyenne is going through. Cheyenne is such a kind kid with a gentle spirit, so he is very moved by anyone going through pain whether it be a human or a stray animal...I know he's feeling lost right now because of the "what ifs," and his dad knows his head and how to relate to him musically where as I don't. His brother is on the road a lot, and there is no one else in our family that has that career...and the Godfather kind of plays but not for a living...it's just different. He loves to record something and let his dad hear it because he knows that he knows what sounds right, etc. My husband has friends who play who are close to our family, so maybe some of them can help...when they're in town. I'm glad that he has the music to put his emotions into. He starts a job this evening, washing dishes at the Hilton. I told him that some day when he travels the world like his dad did that he can tell people that he once washed dishes at the Hilton but that then he will be staying at one. He's a humble kid, so he just grinned. Thanks for listening to all my gibberish...it hurts to see him hurting inside when I can't fix it. G >>> Now, I have another problem. Our teenage son, Cheyenne, told me >>> yesterday that every time he leaves the apartment he gets nervous [quoted text clipped - 83 lines] > > G Is there someone who works with youth at your church? You & J know more about teenage boys than I do. I believe J is suggesting an older male who could have an ongoing one-on-one relationsip with your son. Long term. Just for him. Maybe the godfater, maybe someone else. How about the teen support group - if hospital doesn't have, maybe they could refer you. He may need someplace, other people outside the family where he feels comfortable expressing his deepest fears without fear of upsetting you. It sounds like he may be finding some outlets in his music, but he may need a father figure too to help take the burden off. Fig >>>> Now, I have another problem. Our teenage son, Cheyenne, told me >>>> yesterday that every time he leaves the apartment he gets nervous [quoted text clipped - 99 lines] > > Fig Fig, I know this might sound like I am contradicting the whole situation with my son and his dad, and it is hard to explain ... although they think alike musically and love and respect each other, our son hasn't had a father figure in the home, he's had me. I think what has happened is that Cheyenne has had his dad home because he's sick, and now he thinks he's going to lose that. The show must go on, as is said, and it always has, but just not here... Don't get me wrong, we have managed to stay a close-knit family, but my husband has been playing music forever...musicians are either out of town or up all night and sleep most the day...this is a whole new thing for my husband...and for Cheyenne...he finally has a dad around, but his dad is too weak to do those dad things that normal people do...no taking your son fishing, every trip we've ever taken has been to some show out of town that he had to play...never a real vacation without sound checks, without people everywhere...never ... but they do have their music to chat about, so that's good... I could get Cheyenne some counseling with our priest who helped me get through my mom's death, but Cheyenne's a tad bit angry at God right now...I remember telling Father Tony that I was mad at God once, and he said, "Well, that shows you still believe in him." All our kids and I are very close. They love Don but have had to do it at a distance because he was gone so much. Now he's home, and they are catering to his every need... Everything is just a.s backwards around here now...Cheyenne seemed better after coming in from his job last night. Maybe he just needed to get out of here for a few hours. I asked him if he were okay...he said he was and then told me about the job, went in his room and played guitar... He's a very mature kid because he has been raised around adults mostly (he cut his teeth on drumsticks on the stage at the Opry), and kids his own age don't have the musical mind-set and dedication that he has...they have seemed to at times, but life interfered with the music, and those in our circle of friends, well, music is their life...sounds harsh, but that's the truth of it. I must get off to work, and I really don't feel like going today...wondering if I should call in. Don is having a lot of pain in his stomach, but I'm afraid it's actually his liver ... for the first time, the pain woke him up in the middle of the night...he took pain meds and went back to sleep, and he normally doesn't have to do that...it scares me. Please send up a prayer for him and this family...we love him so much...we're all hurting and not accustomed to seeing him like this...what's that song by Fogleberg? Our son, Donnie, mentioned it to me a few days ago, said it hurts to hear it. The leader of the band Is tired and his eyes are growing old But his blood runs thru' my instrument And his song is in my soul My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man I'm just a living legacy To the leader of the band I am the living legacy To the leader of the band McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying." I heard it on the way to work yesterday and choked up...God, I am so morbid...I'm so scared. I think I should stay here today and call his doctor... love and hugs to you for giving a crap...and forgive my ramblings...so many things that we now wonder if it was worth being away for...does it have to come down to this to know what really comes first in one's life? I guess it does. I think Don has regrets... Giuditta On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> wrote: > >>>> Now, I have another problem. Our teenage son, Cheyenne, told me > >>>> yesterday that every time he leaves the apartment he gets nervous [quoted text clipped - 174 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Giuditta, I understand. We all live our lives differently. Socks & I were often like ships in the night. He was out saving the world & I doing whatever it is I do. Always feel free to use what you need here & leave the rest. No one will take offense. Fig > On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 212 lines] > leave the rest. No one will take offense. > Fig Socks sounds like an interesting person, a good good man ... if you don't mind me asking, what was he doing to save the world? I love that in a person. I'm really afraid right now. Don's pain is worse, and it happened so quickly. I think I told you that it woke him up during the night. I called from school, and he had nausea and was still hurting although the pain meds were helping somewhat. I called the nurse who has been so kind and helpful at the oncologist's office, and she said that the pain could be from the procrit shot they gave him Tuesday, or from the spleen if the bone marrow was working to make blood cells or that it could be the cancer. He's behind a week on the chemo, and if the blood count isn't up next week, he won't get the chemo then either. He is so tired. I'm so afraid that it's the cancer getting worse...Cathy (nurse) said for us to call her at home if the pain got worse and that they would do a scan of some sort probably to check things out...but he's allergic to the dye for a CT scan, so I don't know what it would be. I have read on here about PET scans, but I don't know what that is. Thanks again for sharing your knowledge and experience. I'm so scared that my darn stomach hurts now...what was that FDR said..."all we have to fear is fear itself" or something like that. Giuditta  SignatureSave the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate and Starbucks!! BetsyB >> On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> >> wrote: Pet Scan to my untrained eye is different. I needed recent bloodwork, yesterday. Ct Scan tomorrow afternoon w/contrast. I think this requires dye of sorts so I don't know if he is good to go on this one. Then you take the disk from this to the PET scan people. They inject me with radiated glucose and you park for 45 minutes in a recliner to let it swirl around your system. Then you go for a brief scan in one room 35 minutes or so. Then off to another room for another scan. They apparently slap the 2 they do together and merge them. They then compare to the ct scan you brought. The glucose makes any active cancer cells glow. This is my understanding. Hope this is clear but if it is incorrect I am positive someone with more knowlegde will delighted to tell me about it. Betsy >>> On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> >>> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > knowlegde will delighted to tell me about it. > Betsy Thanks, you explained it well. I think he'll have an MRI since he can't have the dye or can the CT scan be done without the dye...probably not as effective, huh? G SignatureSave the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate and Starbucks!! BetsyB >>>> On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> >>>> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > G I sure don't know which is more effective but best to you and Don. Drag is bunns out for some soul music. Far more theraputic than parking in the room alone. >>>>> On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> >>>>> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > bunns out for some soul music. Far more theraputic than parking in the > room alone. I wish he felt like getting dragged out for some soul music. I did put Dream Girls on the big screen in "his tv room" a couple of weeks ago, and he liked that and didn't even fall asleep...great film and awesome talent...Hudson and Murphy...pulling for them an Oscar! Yay! His friend from Nashville is coming Monday so I pray he gets to spend the night and take Don to our son's gig Tuesday night...he was going to come Thursday, but wasn't able to, so they're shooting for Monday. Don's so proud of the kids, and Joe (friend) hasn't heard Donnie's band. so Don will be beaming. Don's pain was a bit better today, but he has been throwing up...just fixed him chicken soup so he could take his meds...the pain has moved from upper quadrant to lower now, so I am really thinking he might have a bug that I probably brought in from school...one of my students left today with a stomach thing and some others are out... He does seem better than yesterday, and I'm happy. I never thought I'd be praying for him to have a stomach virus before, but that's the lesser of the two evils. Cheyenne is better too...his new job is giving him some time away where he can concentrate on other things... So, today is good. Giuditta > Pet Scan to my untrained eye is different. I needed recent bloodwork, > yesterday. Ct Scan tomorrow afternoon w/contrast. I think this requires dye [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > brought. The glucose makes any active cancer cells glow. This is my > understanding. The way I understood it, anything with heavy metabolic activity will absorb the radioactive sugar and glow on the scan. Again the way I think I heard it, cancer cells use about 1500 times as much sugar as normal cells, so they'll tend to show up. However, any part of the body that's healing could also be using a lot of sugar for rebuilding, and show up on the scan as a "hot spot" as well. Thus they don't do PET really soon after chemo etc. And then there's the unexplainable, like the hot spot under my chin; lights up every time, doesn't change, no guesses as to why it shows up, no reason to believe it's anything bad. Signature"Nowadays, security guys break the Mac every single day. Every single day, they come out with a total exploit, your machine can be taken over totally. I dare anybody to do that once a month on the Windows machine." -- Bill Gates, in an interview with Newsweek's Steven Levy >> On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> >> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 247 lines] > > Giuditta Giuditta, From reading your posts, it looks to me like Don needs relief from his stomach pain (unless it's a bug). Then maybe the 2 of you can start building some happy memories. Years from now, you'll have more to make you smile. Whatever is happening to him medically will happen with or without the worry. If he were to survive a long, long time & it was all about pain & worry, it doesn't seem to me there would be much living going on. There are lots of pain meds & nausea meds to try. Socks had a 3-in-one suppository that included a don't giva a damn component. Getting out some could ease Don's depression, give him a break. So I'd concentrate on alleviating the pain & discomfort, whatever is causing it. Does he have a wheelchair so you can get him places without tiring him? Would oxygen make him feel better? Oxygen wasn't medically necessary for Socks, but he felt a whole lot better with it & used it constantly. Germs are out there, but some common sense precautions should help minimize. Get a bottle of the disinfectant waterless hand wash. Give him a muffler he can wrap loosely across his nose/mouth. Ask the nurse for any other ideas. Tell his docs there are things he wants to do & ask how he can get out & do them. He's a person, not a hot-house flower. There are times for precautions - Penny mentions them - but he's been in isolation the whole time you've been with us & it doesn't seem to have an end. We would all have fewer contageous illinesses if we all lived in bubbles, but what's the point of a life like that? I hesitated mentioning the wheelchair to Socks, but I finally did when we were to take a trip. The walking in airports - lots of it & tiring. Turns out, Socks had been thinking that too. I just said lets use your energy for fun stuff, not for walking through airports. Then we rented a nice, comfy one that reclined for getting around town. It's time for a change of focus imho. Less worry about what's causing every pain (you will never really know) & more enjoyable distractions. Why not give it a try? Focus on what it will take to let him enjoy going to a gig. Hugs, Fig >>> On Feb 22, 5:34 am, "Giuditta" <jnotma...@giudiittaspeedworks.com> >>> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 290 lines] > Hugs, > Fig Fig, you're so right about us living in this bubble since I first posted here. It's been since he was diagnosed in early November. He's been on chemo this whole time, and the onc stressed how we should keep him away from crowds where someone might have a bug... We did that, and now I think this throwing up and pain thing might be a bug after all, and I probably brought it in from school. As soon as he feels well enough, maybe he will want to get out. Truthfully, it hasn't seemed to bother him, living like a shut-in all this time. He wanted to go out to dinner one night, but we didn't because it wasn't a smoke-free place, and no where else sparked his interest. I've mentioned a wheelchair to him for even getting out for a stroll because the weather has been nice here off and on, but he says he will walk, but the last time he was at the dr. and the blood was low, he had to be wheeled out and taken to the hospital for the transfusions. He's always been gone so much that when he was home, he was a homebody, and I think he still is...maybe this is a rest for him in a weird sort of way. I do need to ask the dr. about those suppositories, and could kick myself for not thinking of something like that yesterday or today because the office isn't open again until Monday. If the nausea gets bad again, I guess I could call the on-call dr. You're right also about how I try to analyze every ache and pain and ask why instead of rolling with the flow and not worrying so much as long as he's comfortable. It's time to make more memories ... I wish he felt more like doing that ... as soon as he feels chipper again, he'll be back playing, which is okay with me...I just want him okay and happy. We're accustomed to being apart, but during those times, I always knew he'd be back... Thanks for the advice and for being straight with me...I'm stopping the hovering, worrying and am just going to live and stop expecting the worst...at least I'm going to try. TGIF!!! Giuditta > Fig wrote: > > From reading your posts, it looks to me like Don needs relief from his [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > office isn't open again until Monday. If the nausea gets bad again, I guess > I could call the on-call dr. Didn't the nurse say to call if things got worse? J >> Fig wrote: >> > From reading your posts, it looks to me like Don needs relief from his [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > Didn't the nurse say to call if things got worse? > J Yes, she did say that. Mimi called, and she said for him to keep taking the phenergan (sp?) and pain meds and to make sure that he has something on his stomach before he takes the meds...the chicken soup I fixed him last night made his stomach feel worse...I think he ate too much of it... I will call her back about the suppositories.... G > "J" <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in message > >> Fig, you're so right about us living in this bubble since I first posted [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > I will call her back about the suppositories.... Hello G. I don't get gastro "flu" much but when I do, I don't get pain. I suppose it's possible, as in "gas pain". But he was having pain earlier this week.?? Any better today? J >> "J" <nexsw@nvalid,anon> wrote in message >> >> Fig, you're so right about us living in this bubble since I first [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > Any better today? > J His pain was a bit better yesterday, and last night it didn't wake him...he took less pain meds where as a few days ago he was taking them every four hours or more. But he said the pain has moved lower in the stomach and radiates around although less in intensity. He also hasn't had regular bowel movements and has been taking medicine for that...not much is helping it, and he's normally a very regular person...I'm thinking that could be affecting his lower stomach... Giuditta > His pain was a bit better yesterday, and last night it didn't wake him...he > took less pain meds where as a few days ago he was taking them every four [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Giuditta oh ! oh ! That's one of the things I was worried about. A bowel blockage of food or a tumor. Constipation can cause pain to the back. Janet got tricked, she was having the runs and vomiting, so ruled out constipation, but there was a bowel impaction. janet had a bowel perforation because of it. You want to get a handle on this ASAP. Best contact them G, for advice ASAP. J >> His pain was a bit better yesterday, and last night it didn't wake >> him...he [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > Best contact them G, for advice ASAP. > J They know about the problem and gave him pills for it and told him that pain meds often cause it ... he drinks plenty of liquids...should I call them today or wait until his appt. Tuesday? He told me this morning that he was able to go a little bit but not normal... This sounds more serious than I thought it was...what about glycerine suppositories, etc? G Giuditta schreef: > The dr. > mentioned at a recent visit that he could play a gig as long as he was six [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Is there a reason you husband should avoid smoke? Does the smoke bother your husband or the oncologist? Anne > Giuditta schreef: >> The dr. mentioned at a recent visit that he could play a gig as long as [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Anne Anne, No, I don't think the smoke would bother my husband. He's too weak right now to play, but if he feels strong enough eventually, I think he should play and do what he loves no matter what, but that's just me. The onc said the second-hand smoke would be bad for him...God, how much worse can he be? I mean, is staying away from smoke going to take cancer out of his lungs and all the other organs it's invaded? I think not... What do you think? G Giuditta schreef: > The onc said the second-hand smoke would be bad for him...God, how much > worse can he be? I mean, is staying away from smoke going to take cancer out [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > The same thing you think ;-) I think your husband should enjoy life and if this means to be around smokers (if he is not asmathic) he should not avoid that. Anne > Giuditta schreef: >> [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Anne Thank you for the confirmation! I appreciate your honesty. I so wish he could go, but as it stands right now, his pain is too bad. G Giuditta schreef: > I'll call his onc tomorrow and ask but just wondered what you think. It > seems that nothing slowed Penny down, but I don't remember her saying a lot [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Penny had a simular kind of chemo I had about the same time, though different cancer. In the summer and fall of 2005. I had cisplatin/gemzar in three week cycles, six times. Penny switched from the cisplatin to carboplatin. I live in Holland and the approach is a bit different. When on palliative chemo usually you don't get shots to get the counts up to get chemo. Rather wait until the body recovers on its own. I know in the States the approach is a bit more "agressive". I was encouraged to go out and do fun things if I was able to, I think that was the same with Penny. The bad cold I got I caught in the hospital, probably from a doctor that didn't want to call in sick ;-) Anne > Giuditta schreef: >> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Anne I agree with you, do fun things. I understand that when the WBC count is down that he has to be careful, but I don't know if that includes all the other counts. The onc is giving him this week to see if the blood count will go up without anymore shots... He's having a problem with more pain in the stomach area right now...tell me if this is correct or if you've heard of it...the nurse told my daughter that when the bone marrow is making more blood cells that it sometimes causes pain in the stomach...is this true? Thanks, Giuditta >> Giuditta schreef: >>> [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > Thanks, > Giuditta Sorry, I don't know. I have very limited experience with these things, just what happened to my husband & what I read here. That's not a lot. Fig >>> Giuditta schreef: >>>> [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > > Fig When I talked to the nurse today, she said that she didn't say anything about pains in the stomach but did mention pain in the spleen, but I also know that he had cancer show up there, and the CT scan results showed that it was "resolved," but I have learned on here that resolved might not mean that it's gone...so I'm afraid that it's back growing there again since he isn't having chemo right now. Giuditta Giuditta schreef: > so I'm afraid that it's back growing there again since he > isn't having chemo right now. > > Giuditta > > Usually cancer doesn't start growing so soon after chemo if there was a good response. Anne > Giuditta schreef: >> so I'm afraid that it's back growing there again since he isn't having [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Anne Thanks, Anne. That's a big relief. I was thinking tonight that it could be anything making his stomach hurt (upper left below ribcage). Mine was hurting tonight with a tad of nausea yesterday, and I have had a lot of students out with stomach viruses this week...maybe it's just a bug. I thought earlier that it was my nerves making mine hurt, but maybe not...Whatever happens with him, I seem to connect it to the cancer. Thanks again!!! G > Giuditta schreef: >> [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Anne Penny's husband smokes..others in her family smoked too, so she was around smoke. I think Penny had finished her chemo before we met her. She was beginning her clinical trial at the Cross, but she didn't stay on that very long. She went quite awhile with no treatment. They traveled to Ontario a lot - a long way from Edmonton.. Her husband's son is in a band they followed & then they took a long road trip all around the Western USA. Her parents have a place in Arizona. They took lots of trips. Fig >> Giuditta schreef: >>> [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > > Fig I remember reading about Penny going to a gig and being backstage...I wondered if the artist was a relative. I will have to look his name up again and ask my husband if he knows him... It's uncanny the things that Penny and my family have in common. G >>> Giuditta schreef: >>>> [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > > G http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Walpole Her step-son, Chris, plays guitar in Aaron's band. Fig >>>> Giuditta schreef: >>>>> [quoted text clipped - 48 lines] > > Fig Thanks for the website. I went to Aaron's MySpace and added him as a friend on mine. His background shows the band, and I was wondering which guitar player is Penny's stepson. The band's music on their MySpace is very good...what pipes Aaron has! He sounds much better than any of the guys on this season's American Idol here. Giuditta Sorry I haven't posted myself sooner and thank you again Guiditta. :) It's going to take me a while to get caught up in all that's been said! But I had to pop on and give you all some news. It's 4 months ago today that Penny passed away and today her granddaughter was born. :) 6 lbs and 10 oz ....I believe. I was so excited when I got the news, I can't be sure that's right. lol But the sweetest thing.......her name is Penny Lee. *big smile.....and a few tears* Trish > Sorry I haven't posted myself sooner and thank you again Guiditta. :) > It's going to take me a while to get caught up in all that's been said! [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Trish Oh my God...how exciting. Penny Lee! ... I love it. I remember in Penny's writing she mentioned that the baby would be named Penny if she were a girl. I believe babies are in a special place in Heaven before they're born, and that might sound crazy, but when Cheyenne was born, I feel that before he got here, he knew my mom who had passed on... I could just feel it when I held him...It was like she was saying, "He's all yours now." He looks at her picture and says he feels like he knew her and saw her...I think he did... I'm so happy for you and your family. Little Penny will be loved by many. Thanks for letting us know. Hugs, Giuditta > Sorry I haven't posted myself sooner and thank you again Guiditta. :) It's > going to take me a while to get caught up in all that's been said! [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Trish Congratulations to all, Trish May Penny Lee have a long and happy life. Penny would be so proud. J |
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