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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / December 2006Follow-up on my friend's friend's lung cancer
Awhile back, I posted about my friend's 'second father's' lung cancer. He was considering surgery & had it. I'll post what my friend sent me today: My friend that has lung cancer had his surgery last month, after Thanksgiving. The surgery went well, but his recovery has been riddled with one problem after another. Currently he is not in too good of shape. He has not been able to breathe on his own, he relies on a ventilator. His good lung was then infected with pneumonia. He has been receiving nitrate oxide to help him breathe, but apparently that is contributing to his good lung stiffening. He has been unsuccessful breathing on his own and has been in an induced coma since the surgery. He also suffered two strokes, one during the surgery and one a few weeks later. Things are not looking too good, the doctors are telling the family to prepare for the worst. It is heartbreaking. The doctors are so frustrated because they said he was a prime candidate, in good health and shape. They said the surgery was perfect and a success. But that since then, everything that could possibly go wrong, has. There is still a little bit of hope, but it is not promising. Fig  Signature"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, Starbucks in the other, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO what a ride!" > Awhile back, I posted about my friend's 'second father's' lung cancer. He > was considering surgery & had it. I'll post what my friend sent me today: [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Fig That is so sad, but it does happen. After spending three years working in a Hosp in Anchorage I found it quite heartbreaking. That is not the job for me. My prayers will follow your friend's Dad. Wish there was something that could be done. It must be hard for your friend, where you close with her Dad? I you are sorry to hear about another significant loss in your life. Lung cancer sucks. It sounds like it is end stage for him. Are you part of the inner circle in decision making? Are you a health care proxy for this man? If it is just a friend's father, you know how to support her, give her rides to and from the hospital. Perhaps help make funeral arrangements. Help her will her bills. Stay on the phone allowing her to vent. With your care giving experience you can hopefully make it an easier time for her and her father by guiding them along. >> Awhile back, I posted about my friend's 'second father's' lung cancer. >> He [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > for me. My prayers will follow your friend's Dad. Wish there was something > that could be done. > It must be hard for your friend, where you close with her Dad? I you > are sorry to hear about another significant loss in your life. Lung [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] >> is not the job for me. My prayers will follow your friend's Dad. Wish >> there was something that could be done. I gess I should have added more to my post. I do not know the man personally. I have been following this through my friend who asked me for some information when he was diagnosed. It is sad & they are all heartbroken. The 2 families grew up together & remain very close. It's one of those rare multi-generational friendships that endure. It's especially sad as his prospects were so good & hopes were high. My friend had been slogging through some difficult times before this, including taking her sister's 14 year old son to raise. It seems to be one thing after another. Of course, I will be here for her. She, her husband, Socks & I were fairly close. They are some 20 years younger, making the man with cancer about my age. I did learn Socks's mother died early this morning. She had broken her hip a week ago & was to have surgery earlier this week. I don't know if she did. She was even more elderly than most her age & very frail. Socks was her eldest & there were 5 other children. So she's with Socks now. Wonder how he feels about that! She tended to try his & everyone else's patience here on earth. I hope they have a gentler relationship in the afterlife. Fig Fig > Awhile back, I posted about my friend's 'second father's' lung cancer. He > was considering surgery & had it. I'll post what my friend sent me today: [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Fig I'm so sorry to read your post Fig. The only comforting thing that I can think to say is to send Warm Hugs to all concerned, including you. I'm currently helping FIL through his treatment for lung cancer and whilst his progress appears to be very good, it's not so nice sitting in oncology again. Peaceful Wishes Alayne > I'm so sorry to read your post Fig. The only comforting thing that I > can think to say is to send Warm Hugs to all concerned, including you. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Alayne Alayne, I am glad to hear your FIL's treatment is going well. I am sorry you are there revisiting a place you'd rather not be. Hope your holidays are wonderful with your girls. Loving thoughts coming your way, Fig Glad to hear you are not on the frontline with your friend. Alayne glad to her your FIL is doing well, I admire your hands on approach with your FIL. To all have a safe and healthy weekend. Alex > Glad to hear you are not on the frontline with your friend. Alayne > glad to her your FIL is doing well, I admire your hands on approach > with your FIL. > > To all have a safe and healthy weekend. Alex Thanks Alex, although it's not something I am doing through choice. The surviving son now knows about his dad and his only reaction was "well, it doesn't bode well for me, having lost a brother and now my father has cancer". Some peoples hearts must be made of stone. Seasons Wishes to you too. Hugs Alayne >> Thanks Alex, although it's not something I am doing through choice. The > surviving son now knows about his dad and his only reaction was "well, it > doesn't bode well for me, having lost a brother and now my father has > cancer". Some peoples hearts must be made of stone. That is my point, I share your viewpoint you need to take care of one's family but I have experienced many family members who walk away. You may not think it but you are a special person, you are setting a great example for your children they will not forget what you are doing. Not only are you helping your FIL but teaching your kids a wonderful life's lesson. >>> Thanks Alex, although it's not something I am doing through choice. The >> surviving son now knows about his dad and his only reaction was "well, it [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Not only are you helping your FIL but teaching your kids a wonderful > life's lesson. Thank you Alex and I never thought about your point regarding my girls. I simply cannot understand how someone could be so callous as to not wish to help but rather walk away, thankfully I have a concience and would stick by someone no matter what. Hugs Alayne >> Thanks Alex, although it's not something I am doing through choice. The > surviving son now knows about his dad and his only reaction was "well, it > doesn't bode well for me, having lost a brother and now my father has > cancer". Some peoples hearts must be made of stone. That is my point, I share your viewpoint you need to take care of one's family but I have experienced many family members who walk away. You may not think it but you are a special person, you are setting a great example for your children they will not forget what you are doing. Not only are you helping your FIL but teaching your kids a wonderful life's lesson. >> Glad to hear you are not on the frontline with your friend. Alayne >> glad to her your FIL is doing well, I admire your hands on approach >> with your FIL. >> >> To all have a safe and healthy weekend. Alex > The surviving son now knows about his dad and his only reaction was > "well, it doesn't bode well for me, having lost a brother and now my > father has cancer". Some peoples hearts must be made of stone. Yep, Tony & your FIL got cancer just to up his chances. Let's hope something thaws his heart. It must be miserable being him. Fig Alayne said... > The > surviving son now knows about his dad and his only reaction was "well, it > doesn't bode well for me, having lost a brother and now my father has > cancer". Some peoples hearts must be made of stone. I suppose it's always possible that the son is just plain shocked by the news and didn't know how he 'should' react? Maybe it was an attempt at a bit of ironic humour or something? Not knowing him, it's very hard to tell, but bearing in mind that he and his father haven't had dealings with each other for so many years it's even possible that he feels very bitter towards his father (or some other negative emotion) and perhaps he doesn't really know at the moment if he cares or not. Don't dismiss the chap out of hand, Alayne - give him time to work out how he feels. It may have hit him harder than even he himself knows. Or of course the above could be a load of baloney. SignatureEm, whose mother, now back from Cyprus, is planning another holiday. Only to the Isle of Wight, but a holiday nonetheless. 'S all right for some... > Alayne said... >> The [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Or of course the above could be a load of baloney. Oh Em, you're a gem, and yes I take your point there could be some truth in what you say but it's been a couple of months and surely he could at least have phoned me rather than FIL direct?, or possibly have sent a seasonal card? I think it's more likely that he's cut from the same cloth as his mother (who didn't even bother to visit her only grandchildren, just stuck a fiver in the post.....) Good to read you ma is holidaying and I hope Christmas was a good one (I would say peaceful, but not with all your tribe ;-) Warm Hugs Alayne >> I'm so sorry to read your post Fig. The only comforting thing that I >> can think to say is to send Warm Hugs to all concerned, including you. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > Loving thoughts coming your way, > Fig And wishing you a wonderful and peaceful Christmas too Fig. Hopefully sometime in the new year peace will return to this house cos the extension is nearly finished ..... whoa hoola .... the girls will soon get their own rooms (and not before time!!) Warm Hugs Hon. Alayne >>> I'm so sorry to read your post Fig. The only comforting thing that >>> I can think to say is to send Warm Hugs to all concerned, including [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Alayne I'm glad you're coming up on the end of that project. Seems like it's been going on for awhile - or maybe I heard of planning stages. Now the decoration/fun stuff! And the girls will have more room for teen activities out of your hair? Tie it up with a big red bow & enjoy! Warm hugs back, Fig >>>> I'm so sorry to read your post Fig. The only comforting thing that >>>> I can think to say is to send Warm Hugs to all concerned, including [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > Warm hugs back, > Fig You're so right Fig, it's been six months in the build and I started with the planning way back Sept 05! My builders are a father/son crew and keep disappearing on other jobs for days on end but are a lovely pair, they've been here so long they are almost part of the family ;-) We should be starting the decoration sometime very soon and although it will be very chaotic I'm sure it will also be heaps of fun too. Just need to scratch my head and think of another distraction now ;-) Warm Hugs and Happy Holidays Fig Alayne |
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