Hi Angie,

I completely understand what you are going through.  I have been married for
40 years, and have a beautiful wife, three children, and seven grand
children.  I became a paraplegic in 1997, do to a hospital accident, and
have been confined to a power wheelchair.  In 1999, my wife came down with
colon cancer, and was not expected to live.  She did live, and then was
strapped with various other medical conditions,   She is still in very bad
condition, and has been on Hospice for over one year.  Separations ,to us,
are normal.

In 2005, December, I was diagnosed with Esphael throat cancer, and they gave
me 10 months to live without treatment, and possible more with treatment,  I
decided to go through Chemo and Radio.  because I am 64, and they said my
heart wouldn't take the strain of the operation.

So off I go the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for 4 months, again, a separation
for my wife. She in one hospital, and me in another.  The only  link between
us, a telephone, and a laptop for emails.  Family was very supportive.

I returned home first, and was scared of being alone and not having anyone
there at home.  I went  through the vomiting,, and etc for over 4 months,
ALONE.

My lovely wife, finally,was released to come home six weeks ago.  Yes it was
hard at first being along with her, day in and day out.  I am a computer
person, she is a TV watcher.  We both sleep in the same bedroom but not in
the same beds.  We have craft of matics, and both of us have special needs.

She is still on Hospice care, and I am on home health.  There are people
coming and going all day long.  We never are alone, for long.

On goods days, we love to go for rides, anywhere, anytime, anyplace.  Just
short rides, but the point is, we never dominate each others wishes.  After
being married for 40 years, you know the person you are married to.  Their
dislikes and likes.  So you make compromises, and switch off, even if you
don't agreed.   This is marriage.

I think, you should evaluate your relationship, and see just what you both
would like to do for entaintainment, please don't argue --  life to too
short, and you may wakeup someday, without your partner.

Love each other, don't fight, remember the good things about each of you,
and what attracted you to the person in the first place.

CANCER is not pleasant, and maybe your mate doesn't want to come to terms
with your condition.  Maybe he is afraid  of losing you.  Feeling sometimes,
can't be verbally expressed, look for clues for delayed affection, and read
between the lines.

Lots of love on this end, and hope you will be as happy as I am to have my
spouse - for ever how long together.

Love Wolfgang Fuchs