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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / October 2006How Much Longer?
Just a question here.. I realize no one has the answer but thought someone might be able to give me a general idea. An 18 year old girl, diagnosed with Stage 4 melanoma 18 months ago, metastasized to liver, bone and now brain. In November of 2005 was told she wouldn't make it to her high school graduation. She did. Was told 2 weeks ago that time was short, 2 weeks at tops. Has had nothing but ice chips every few hours for a week now, at home with family, resting without alot of pain it seems. How much longer can this possibly go on? Thanks. >. How much longer can this > possibly go on? Until she dies. > >. How much longer can this > > possibly go on? > > Until she dies. like I said, I understand no one really can have an answer to this.. just was hoping someone could give me an idea of how long she could stay at this stage. I didn't really need that kind of answer.. thanks anyway. Rhonda > > >. How much longer can this > > > possibly go on? [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > stage. I didn't really need that kind of answer.. thanks anyway. > Rhonda I'm trying my best Figgertoes to help my teenager understand what is happening to her friend and to help her to get through it. It has been a long 18 months for all of these kids and at this point is just almost unbearable for them. I'm sorry if I asked the wrong question in the wrong place. Forgive my blunder. R. Unfortunately, when people die before their time, they tend to hold out longer. Some one this young has a strong heart and lungs. The usual signs of pending death aren't reliable predictors to begin with and are less reliable in young adults. Is there a grief counselor at your kid's school? Sorry for your situation, life is not fair, Alex > Unfortunately, when people die before their time, they tend to hold out > longer. Some one this young has a strong heart and lungs. The usual signs of [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Is there a grief counselor at your kid's school? Sorry for your situation, > life is not fair, Alex Thank you Alex... I had wondered if her youth was one of the things making her hang on longer than anyone had anticipated. Yes, there are lots of people for the kids to reach out to. Thanks for your reply. R. >> > >. How much longer can this >> > > possibly go on? [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > the wrong place. Forgive my blunder. > R. Hi, Rhonda, When people die, they apparently work through many emotional, spiritual & physical issues. This precious girl may be doing intense work as she appears to be simply lingering. There are books your teenager & friends may be interested in reading so they can learn more about the death process as part of life. A favorite book of this type is Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan & Patricia Kelley. Its focus is on things a dying person may say that make no apparent sense but reflect what's going on internally with suggestions for helpful responses. It's an easy read with short stories about different dying people. Because of the brain involvement, your friend may not be verbal, but this book could still offer insights. You could look around where this one is shelved for similar ones that might be appropriate or ask the librarian. My church bookstore has a whole shelf of books on this topic. You may not want anything too clinical (scary) for a teen, but sometimes knowledge is more comforting than the fear of the unknown. Hugs, Fig I like Figgertoes answer. As a hospice vigil volunteer I am sometimes called to be a presence for a family when the time is growing short. Generally when I am called the person is actively dying. I usually ask the family is if there is someone the person needs to see and say good bye even if non-verbal. Sometimes it is that one person who visits and then the person passes. Just a thought. Occasionally someone asks me how long it will be, and depending on what I am seeing, the best I can offer is to say that time is short. Sometimes hours and sometimes day remaining. Life Figger said, the person is doing work. The hospice I volunteer for gives the family a booklet, "Gone from my sight", which helps the family to understand general syptoms and times. In Peace, > Just a question here.. I realize no one has the answer but thought someone > might be able to give me a general idea. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > pain it seems. How much longer can this possibly go on? > Thanks. Backburner I appauled your volunteerism. As a vigil volunteer you see the difficult cases, Many people just pass on read the medscape article. Alex . |
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