Trish,

Thanks for the update.
Hugs to Penney and Michael and YOURSELF.

Alex

Trish said...

No more drinking on her own?  That sounds truly awful.  Poor Penny - I
hope for her sake she doesn't have to endure that for another three
weeks.  I don't want to lose her, but at the same time I feel maybe it's
time to let go.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}} to you all Trish, and of course to Penny and Michael
especially.

No emails to read, just all the prayers we can muster for a speedy trip home
for a good friend.
Hugs all around
Betsy

Trish schreef:

That must be very hard for Penny. I hope for her sake it won't be that
long the situation being as it is and  Penny feeling she's ready to let go.

All the best,

Anne

Yes, my brother was good at practical things, when Dad was dying, but didn't
want to discuss feelings or what could happen to Dad physically, until see
below.

Water prolongs life.  I think they kept Dad on IV fluids, just so we could have
time to arrive and have some time with hiim.  The next day, if I recall
correctly, they withdrew IV fluids and that's when my brother (then me and my
sister also started to question) kicked up a fuss, but the doctor explained that
they couldn't find a place to poke more needles. So without vocalizing it, he
was saying that Dad would die of dehydration.
This is from a webpage and I hope it's accurate "There is a consensus that
Interrupting a person's supply of food and liquids causes death by dehydration
within about 15 days. Lack of fluid causes the kidneys to produce less urine.
Eventually, they completely stop filtering toxins from the body. Toxins build up
in the body. The body's chemical balances involving potassium, sodium and
calcium etc. are disrupted. This disrupts the electrical system that triggers
the action of muscles, including the heart. Eventually the heart stops beating,
and the patient dies.  There is no pain involved in dying of dehydration and/or
starvation.: Soon after nourishment is denied to the brain, it begins producing
chemicals that act as a natural anesthetic."

So don't be surprised if IV fluids are withdrawn once in hospice.  Dad died 3 or
4 days after they stopped the IV fluids.  He had no pain, so we requested that
pain medications be withdrawn. Some days I think we prolonged his life by making
such a request, but it gave us time to come to terms and do some "caring" for
him, since he'd been living so far away from 2 of us.  It was a gentle death.

I think it's good if she can get into hospice (ASAP) and the main thrust should
be keeping an IV going for pain relief for Penny. (is my opinion).  If IV fluids
will prolong her pain, then there's no point, but the pain must be palliated.

After Dad died, I suggested to each, that we spend some private time with Dad,
saying or doing whatever we wanted. It was after that, that my brother
crashed/cracked. He was waiting in the corridor for me and reached out and said
"what'll we do now?".  I said something stupid like "Are you serious?", then
reassured him that we would go back to Dad's home and help each other come to
terms.  And that our lives would go on, changed by the experience, changed by
the loss, but life (for us) wuold go on.

(sorry, I'm being wordy), my point is that Michael may be in a protective bubble
wrap of "doing" and "caring for" and "being strong" for the family and for
Penny,  but that could burst, once Penny passes away and each time he comes home
to the "no Penny" loneliness that nobody can fill.

Same for you, possibly Trish, ... and the rest of the family.  I hope you'll
have towers of strength for you as well, Trish.  We're here, but it's not the
same of having someone there to wrap their loving arms around you.
J