sweet_loneranger said...

Handle as normal, with or without cancer.  If your friend does not want
to talk about cancer that's OK.  Talk about other things instead.  
Ignore the cancer and be a good friend.  Friends are very important,
your friend will talk to you when she is ready.  She does not have to
talk about it if she does not want to.

dear sweet_loneranger,
firstly i feel sympathy to what was happen to your friend. my tips for
you is why dont you try to not let her leave alone.for me a cancer
patien need an attention and its our job to make sure they feel alive
and give them support.you can always be by her side and show to her
that you are really care about her...
i hope my tips will help u...elfortmassy

Hello,
there's some tips here
<http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MLT/MLT_2.asp?sitearea=MLT>

Since a bunch of you, from Malaysia, have recently posted to this and the
breast cancer newsgroup, and customs and challenges vary, I would suggest
that you create a Google Goup.
You could name it "Asian cancer support" or "Malaysian cancer support"

The instructions are on the bottom left side of your Google view.
Once it's created, you could post to the breast cancer newsgroup, so the
others can join you there.
If I see your post and the name (of the Group), I'll be able to tell
others, on other newsgroups.
Best wishes,
J

sweet_loneranger schreef:

Just be there as her friend and take her out to places, to get her mind
of the cancer and enjoy life while it's there a bit more.

Anne

Listen.  Be an uncritical ear.  Offer hugs.

Just being there is often enough.

Jeff

Love them. Listen to them. Pray for them.

Janet

Perhaps this link good give some ideas:

<http://cancer.about.com/b/a/256576.htm>

I'm terminal and these a few but not all from my own experience.

No books. I can't tell you how many well-meaning friends gave me them.
Yes, there may be a few that can be helpful, but most are the same old
rehash of so and so who "conquered cancer." I have a big collection of
UNread ones. Want any? If you want to buy them a gift, how 'bout some
movie CDs or tickets to the theatre? We are just like everybody else
except we have cancer. We still enjoy what you do.

Please don't bring up the story of Aunt Sally or the cousin of your
friend's second wife who had a worse cancer condition and is now
"cured."  That diverts attention away from the real need at hand.

Just be there for them. Hold their hand. Never say "I know how hard it
must be"  because you don't.

If their condition is such that they are incapacitated, offer to do
something they can't do, like mow the lawn. Clear snow from their
sidewalk when they're not looking. Bring over some homemade soup or
cookies (but don't tell them you heard that it can cure cancer).
Babysit. Phone them regularly and just say you're checking in (try not
to say "how are you feeling?" They'll tell you that on their own if
they want you to know). End the phone call or visit by saying "What
happens to you makes a difference to me."

Prayer is OK (but be gentle when offering it) or ask if it's OK for
you to pray for them during your own prayer times.

If they are Christian, offer to read Scripture to them. Ask how
they're doing "in their Spirit."

My first response was to say something facetious and rude.  Then I thought,
this person really seems to want to know what to talk about with someone who
has cancer.  Hmmmm, so I asked the expert in our family.

My husband has brain cancer.  most people assume that someone with brain
cancer is lying in bed rotting away.  Rob's rotten, but not rotting.  He
says, talk to them like you did before.  Let them know that you're there for
them if they want to talk about their cancer and medical problems, then go
on.  Ask if there is something that you can do for them, then  go on.  Just
don't do what a lot of people do, even though they don't mean to, and treat
the person like they are totally fragile, or going to croak off any moment.
Don't act as though their cancer is catching.  Hug them, hold them, and let
them know that you're going to treat them like a human being, rather than a
freak. I'm sure that others will give you more extensive advice, but this is
my observations and the advice my husband grunted at me before going back to
bed.

Pam S.